How To Stop Being Negative

Your goddamn negativity, No one needs it. Editor's Note: This piece is by Nick Notas, our Boston Wingman Strategist and Confidence Coach. You can read more of his pieces at The Dating Specialist.

“God I hate BMW drivers!” “My ex-girlfriend was a crazy bitch.“ “Most people are just jerks anyway.” “I’m so miserable at my job.”

No woman wants to hear you complain — it’s unattractive. You’re shooting yourself and your chances in the foot.

It’s no surprise women are in tune with their emotions. Negative energy is the last thing you want to her to feel when getting to know you.

She’s bound to associate you with all those bad emotions and you will make her uneasy. How do you think she’ll react if you’re dwelling on depressing topics?

Instead, follow these tried and true guidelines to keep your cool and make the best out of your interactions with women.

My Dad's Dating Advice

Read below to find out how you can win this.I was 15 years old when my dad gave me the first dose of dating advice. 

“Make sure you wear a helmet.”

At that age, my mind was in the gutter -- and I adhered. Nearly 12 years later, after the journey I've gone improving my confidence around women, I’m fairly certain he meant for me to literally wear one around women.

Giving advice and answers on the more sensitive topics were among the many responsibilities of my dad.

Other responsibilities included, teaching me to tie a tie, educating me on alcohol, teaching me to drive, making me watch sports and pushing me in academics, just to name a few.

For my dad, all he wanted me to do is be as knowledgable as possible, know how to take care of myself and live a better life than he did. He thought that was the perfect foundation to build for the next generation.

I'd like think he did a good job as I am not a total delinquent.

But what being a dad means has evolved over the years.

The Afterglow

Hey, now.Partnering with Durex last week was a lot of fun.

Although Twitter decided to have it’s biggest outage in its history, the “Sexfluencers” (Health, Love, and Sex editor at BlogHer, A.V. Flox; dating blogger Miss Taylor Cast and my fiancée, Laurie) and I had an awesome Twitter party answering your questions about all things sex and over-sharing in the social web.

In true Wingman style, I helped set the mood during the outages with some “sexytime” music. I kicked off with Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together,” which was chosen using Durex’s song generator as me and Laurie’s love-making tune.

Later that night, we partied it up in NYC -- see the Kiss Cam, filled with condoms, ladies and the celebs that rocked the house (Ice T!). 

And, I also got to try out their latest products that were designed to keep you in sync with your partner, in my case, my fiancée.

Apparently for some people, climaxing at the same time is the holy grail of sex -- and it’s rarer than getting struck by lightning. Personally, although it’s awesome, it’s not the end all.

Let's Talk About Sex

It’s rare we talk about sex here, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t important to any physical connection. All the flirting has to lead somewhere, right?

When clients and I discuss the “taboo” topic, I do give quality advice for getting down under the sheets...or on the couch...or wherever you choose to “get down.”

But what about the how to? Some clients who talk with me about it have issues with timing, the best practices for initiating sex, and other things such as best time of the day, how often, and how long.

5 Ways to NOT Be Creepy

Don't be this guy.Editor's Note: This piece is by Nick Notas, our Boston Wingman Strategist and Confidence Coach. You can read more of his pieces at The Dating Specialist.

Once a woman has filed you under creepy, it’s damn near impossible to change her mind.

When meeting a woman, it’s important she’s comfortable because if she feels nervous, it’ll put her on the defensive.

That’s why I’m such a huge advocate of making the best first impression possible.

Most times, conveying you’re a normal guy is as simple as avoiding some common mistakes.

Below are five ways you can make sure your interactions start on the right foot.

A Life Update

If you've noticed the recent inactivity, it's because I tore my Achilles playing basketball last week and will have surgery tomorrow morning. Fortunately, I won't be on the shelf for long and once recovery is on track, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled awesomeness.

I appreciate all the best wishes. I would recommend signing up for the Wingman Labs below as I'll still spend time engaging that group.

5 Lessons in Getting Her Number

Get her number. And a date.Editor's Note: This piece is by Nick Notas, our Boston Wingman Strategist and Confidence Coach. You can read more of his pieces at The Dating Specialist.

Asking a woman for her number can be scary. One critical moment decides whether you might see each other again or if it’s the final goodbye.

Motivation: The Confidence Killer

Motivation can be your biggest mind block -- and most of us don’t even know it.

Generally when people know what they need to work on, they get motivated. But when they don’t actually work on it, they believe the motivation wasn’t enough.

But that’s wrong.

If you weren’t motivated, you wouldn’t feel the urge the do research, read as much as you can -- or even reach out to an expert to get help.

Raise Your Standards

This will resonate with a lot of people.

"Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate you the way you should be appreciated. Don't ever settle for mediocrity, for being just an option, for being the one who's just fun to be with, for being the one who's always there desperately waiting, for mere concern or pity or for someone who likes you just because he knows he's got the power to break you. It is better to have nobody than somebody who is half yours, half there or doesn't want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears. You can be in love and you can be in a relationship. But they're not always the same thing."

Some Twitter Fun

This morning one of my friends, David Gerzof, a professor at Emerson College, appeared on Fox Boston morning news to talk about who people should follow on Twitter. I'm excited to say I've made the list with friend, Steve Garfield, and potential friend, Chad Ochocinco.

I'm always on Twitter, interacting with people, giving quick 140-characted sized snippets of advice, and sharing interesting content I typically don't share here. I highly recommend you follow me on Twitter.

Just another value-add to your dating arsenal.