E & O and a Little Bit of PR

How do you build loyalty in a world of infidelity and infinite choice? Well when it comes to dating, I talk a little bit of PR.

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Review of McGreevy’s

Address: 911 Boylston St. Boston, MA 02115

Website: http://www.mcgreevysboston.com

Best Nights: Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Red Sox home games

Who Goes There: Mostly young people. Good ratio of men and women Ages 23-28.

Cost: $$

Special: Mondays – 10-cent wings (only football season?), Tuesdays - $3 PBR tall-boys and 10-cent wings

BYFAD Bar: TBD

There are some nights when I just end up at McGreevy’s and I don’t know how it happened. I don’t think I’ve ever planned a night involving McGreevy’s but somehow, I end up there. I mean, clearly there’s something about this place that gets me to walk in more often than walk by.

When you go in, it’s just your typical bar (at this point, I’ve been to so many bars that I just see the same thing), but with the younger bar and wait staff, fun music and proximity to Berklee College and the Fenway area, it draws a good young crowd. This is a great place for college and post-grads looking to have a good time with friends and even make new ones. People seem to be pretty receptive to talking to you just as long as you fulfill the minimum requirement of not being creepy. Like I said before, expect a younger crowd to be here, so if you’re pushing 40, this wouldn’t really be the place for you.

The upstairs goes back pretty far and it was a bar at both ends. However, the space is narrow and with booths and table bordering the space, so it can get pretty cramped in there on the weekends. Be prepared to have people bump into or move you throughout the night if you’re in a high-traffic area. There is also a downstairs that is usually used for private events or bands but people can socialize as well downstairs if you want to get away from the mass temporarily.

It’s a good spot for Red Sox games, whether on TV or for home games. Typically, you’ll see some people pre-game there before heading to the game and then potentially coming back after the game (more likely on a win…on a weekend). With a few of their specials revolving around sports, it can be a decent sports bar.

Overall, McGreevy’s serves as a decent choice among the bars in that area. Although there are about 7 bars in two block radius, McGreevy’s does end up being one of the better choices out of the group. I give it an 83 (B-) overall.

Pros
Fun sports bar
Great place for meeting people
Awesome staff
10-cent wings

Cons
Can get too crowded on the weekends
Bar space is minimal

If you have any questions about the place, feel free to check out their site:

http://www.mcgreevysboston.com

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So Where Can You Go to Meet People?

Here's the basic breakdown of where people can go to meet people.

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Women Aren’t Going to Bars to Meet Guys Anymore

Guys, they’ve caught on. Either that or we’ve blown it too many times and have now ruined our chances of possibly finding a potential mate at a bar. Yes, the current statistics do state that less than 5% of relationships today originate from an encounter at a bar or nightclub. But that hasn’t always been the case. There are plenty of friends’ parents I know that met at a bar. They never said that it was the only way to meet people but it was a lot easier to then. You could definitely just approach “strange” people with much less pressure. I feel like the 50s, 60s and 70s were such a more social time than now, even though we have more social outlets at our fingertips today. So what’s the problem? Why are women averse to meeting guys in bars now? Well there are plenty of reasons but I’ll talk about a one particular aspect.

The dating world has changed dramatically. My dad had my sister at 28. My mum was 25. There are so many more factors today say why that will most likely not happen to me. I can mention the evolution of gender and racial equality, education and the economy to name a few. Nowadays, the concept of hooking up is widely accepted. On the other side, it can be stated that the progression of maturity is slower these days. In other words, the idea of “growing up” no longer includes having a spouse, kids and a home. Other people can say people are more selfish now because of our access to more information and opportunities. I could just keep going but I’ll just put out what I think the dating world looks like right now, by perspective of age.

Ages 13-21: Craziness. I hate to drop the starting age so low because I wasn’t even thinking about sex at that age but with stories in the news of teachers catching younger kids performing sexual acts on one another and quicker sexual development of kids these days, it’s just no longer surprising that kids would be thinking about sex that soon. The media has a lot to do with it as well.

At this age, boys and girls are just figuring out “what this does” and “how do I use this” and “I can do that?” kind of stuff. At a certain point, sex is all they want and they can’t get enough because it’s a novelty. Having sex is seen as a trend then anything else. “Everyone’s doing it.”

Ages 21-25: Casual relationships. At this point, you’re done with undergrad and now starting a new chapter in your life. You have no idea what’s going to happen and nowadays, that’s a great thing because you’re not committed to anything or anyone. At the same time, you still have NO clue who you are (or at least who you will be). In this stage, hooking up becomes the more acceptable thing. Commitment just isn’t realistic for most, maybe because of work or a lifestyle choice. People don’t want to be tied down at this time and they figure they can still party like they used to in college…but in the real world. They can worry about the committed stuff later.

Ages 25-30: More exclusive dating and relationships. Reality sets in and you realize that you can’t be partying and hooking up like this for the rest of your life and wouldn’t mind getting into something a little more “routine.” So you start to be more conscious of whom you’re going out with and if the right person comes along and you two have a good few dates, you may put yourself in a relationship. Those relationships can last for years or months, depending on where you are in your life. You’ll go through phases of loving your relationship or missing being on the market but you avert your thoughts because you think you’re on the right track. In between relationships, you’re back to your hooking up phase, catch yourself doing it, stop and get back into your relationship-seeking mode. It’s a sucky cycle and these are the years where you REALLY figure out what you want, as frustrating as it may be.

Ages 30 and up. Commitment. This is where you realize that you’re 30 and would like to start a family soon. Women would consider their “clock” starting to tick a little louder around this time. Pursuit is a little more aggressive as more effort is put into finding the potential spouse and provider/protector of your children because you feel pretty convinced that you know what you want.

Obviously these are general statements and don’t apply to everyone because of special circumstances but this is how I see the dating world now. This is the only dating world I know. I’ve had plenty of conversations with my parents and my friends’ parents about this. There are so many choices today and people are quick to put aside things for more selfish reasons because of this accessibility. Would you agree? Disagree? Let’s talk about this.

So if you’re asking me, “if I can’t meet women in bars anymore, where can I meet them?” I’ll have the answer for you tomorrow.

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If Women Are Complaining About Pepsi, Should Men Complain About This?

I was talking to my sister over the weekend and I was explaining to her the Before You Score App and what about it caused such uproar. She then asked me if I heard about the application called Date Check. I didn’t so she sent me the link to check it out.

Yeah, I know. Women can run background checks on men. It’s literally like having a private investigator in her pocket. If the video wasn’t enough, let me reiterate what this application does. Just by putting in a guy’s email, name or phone number, women can find out a bevy of things.

Criminal record. It’ll have a record of anything naughty that he’s been cited for.

Net worth. She can find out if he’s a homeowner (even how many rooms it has, who else could own the place and its property value) and what kind of job he has (probably with an indication of income)

Other things include, marital status, date of birth, educational background and much more.

For each screening, it’ll cost her about $40.

So you’re telling me that this is a REAL application? This is as close to invading privacy without it being illegal. But is it, with the access of information that we put out there with Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Google and other sites?

My point is how do guys feel about this? How do women feel about this? Should this offend guys? Sure, it looks a lot different than “Before You Score,” but what REALLY makes this application any different? The criminal record search is called the “Sleaze Detector.” Wouldn’t this be a mockery of the lengths women will go to find dirt on men?

 

But of course, I doubt anyone knows about this application because it’s coming from a no-name company and there is little exposure.

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WingmanTV Live TODAY!

Today I am REALLY excited to be doing my FIRST WingmanTV Live! And boy, what a special event it's going to be. Not only will it be part of a back-to-back segment with Nomx3, a show that goes to lunch, (literally) but also Gary Vaynerchuk will be doing a book signing for his new book, Crush It!

This is a very meaningful moment in my life, considering it was only over a year ago that I discovered Gary Vaynerchuk. His relentless attitude and positive aspect on life, inspired me to start what The Professional Wingman is today. He has (and his brother) been a great mentor to me and I can't possibly thank him enough.

It's kind of cool that while he's celebrating his latest milestone, his newest book that is killing the Amazon rankings, I am celebrating my own milestone, having my first live show. It will be streamed live (Follow me on Twitter to get the active link) and I'll do what I can to have it set up on the site here.

If you can't watch the live streaming today, look out for the show next Monday.

I thank you all and I hope to hear from/see you soon!

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Don’t Know What To Say to Women? Here’s the Answer


Say anything.

Yeah, it’s crazy. Here, you thought I was going to give you some crazy formulaic script that you can just repeat verbatim that was going to get you the girl every time and now you’re stuck with just,

Say anything.

Makes me seem like such a jerk, doesn’t it? Well, I’m going to give you more. I tell my clients all the time that it’s not necessarily what you say but how you say it. Sometimes, it’s what you’re not saying. Other times, it’s what you’re saying with your body. As important as those things are, at the end of the day, words still need to come out of your mouth and guys are just having a hard time with that.

Women are like guys in so many ways. They walk like us, communicate like us (fortunately, they don’t look like us) and they put on jeans one foot at a time, too – with the exception of a select few. But if you don’t even know the woman, there’s nothing about them (that you know) that makes them superior to us and vice versa. Sure, they are beautiful people and I love them, but we are equals when it comes to social interaction and developing an intimate relationship.

Let me give you some guidelines to enable you to say something.

If you’re stuck trying to find out what to say next, just look around. Wherever you are, there will always be something to comment on. If you’re out at a bar, I’m sure there is someone in there with there shirt collar popped. Comment away. One thing that I love doing is people watching. I think it’s the most fascinating thing to do with people. There is so much that can go into creating a story of a total stranger just by watching them. It’s entertaining and it let’s her know that you are a fun guy that has an imagination and know how to just chill.

Be funny. Crack jokes and show your sense of humor. Don’t have one? That’s fine. Go to comedy shows or watch them on TV. Not many people like Dane Cook but he’s a good person to watch to learn how to tell a funny story. Other great comedians would be Chris Rock, Katt Williams and Wanda Sykes. Humor is sexy and if you can make her laugh, you’ve almost won her over. Believe it or not, I’ve noticed that it’s rare to first meet someone and be susceptible to laughter. If you break that barrier, it’ll do wonders.

Act like the big brother without being him. A big brother will always make fun of his little sis but he will protect her to his death. I think it’s totally fine to have some playful teasing. Like I said before, there’s no reason to perceive her value to be higher than yours if you don’t know anything about her. As you compliment her, be sure to zing her every once in a while with a smart remark. DO NOT FORGET TO MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS YOU’RE JOKING. Too many guys try to play the serious route when teasing and it actually backfires, simply because it starts to look like you mean it. Simple solution: smile shortly after making the joke. It creates a fun dynamic and a little tension that makes you two more attracted to each other.

In terms of the protecting part, we’re all adults (for the most part). We can take care of ourselves. But, as a man, it is your duty to make sure that your lady is physically safe. Just make that nothing (including you) is impeding her from having a good time. I know that’s a vague statement, but it should be common sense. If she’s in physical danger, ensure her safety. Bonus tip: if you see her talking to a creepy guy and it look obvious that she needs to be saved (either you KNOW for a fact that this guy is a creepshow or she’s giving out signals that she doesn’t feel comfortable around him), take the initiative and save her from impending doom. There’s something romantic about saving a damsel from distress that some women find appealing even if it is just saving her from some random guy.

Finally, bring the E & O. Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, no matter whom you are with, have some energy! Be positive about life and what’s going on around you. Time and time again, it has been proven that positive thoughts will lead to positive things. Maintain that mentality and people will sense and feed off of it.

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The Day After #pepsifail, What Are People Actually Saying?

I thought it was important that people know how people REALLY feel about the Before You Score App. So I went after the target demographic (pretty much 21-27), gave those who didn't know about the application and demo, and had them tell me their impressions. I wasn't too surprised at the reaction, but you might be.

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Top 10 Bro Codes for Dating

Since I was sick this past weekend, it gave me a chance to catch up on some quality reading. I was able to get thorough a total of two books (I was able to get through one whole book and half of two books). One of the books I got to read was the Bro Code by Barney Stinson. For those who haven’t watched How I Met Your Mother, I suggest you check it out. It’s a funny show.

The book is a list of codes that all men who are “Bros” should follow. Some make sense and hold true to my group of friends, others are there for comedy and others are just downright out of control. Anyhow, many of these codes are related to dating. After sifting through, I’ve been able to come up with what I think are the top 10 codes that involve dating and are at least somewhat valuable.

At the very least, this list is VERY entertaining.

You can check out the book on Amazon here.

10. A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.

9. If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, his Bros shall offer no more than a “that sucks, man” and copious quantities of beer. To eliminate the possibility of any awkward moments in the future, his Bros shall also refrain from any perjorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite backslide window has fully closed.

8. All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman.

7. A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.

6. A Bro never lies to his Bro about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event.

5. A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/Chick Ratio at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

4. In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.

3. If a chick inquires about another Bro’s sexual history, a Bro shall honor the Brode of Silence and play dumb. Better to have women think all men are stupid than to tell the truth.

2. A Bro shall not kill another Bro or a Bro’s chances to score with a chick.

1. When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.

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Retro Post: Giving and Taking

I wanted to bring this up again because over the past several days, I've been hearing tons of women mention the phrase, "giving and taking." I think it's a really important phrase and men need to understand this if they want to be in a long-term relationship with someone they care about. Men need to really be aware of the different mentalities in a relationship and how it can benefit or hurt your relationship.

So without further ado, here is the Giving and Taking Series. Check out each entry and let me know what you think. I find this to be on the best series I have written so far.

The Win/Win Philosophy

The Win/Lose Philosophy

The Lose/Win Philosophy

The Lose/Lose Philosophy

The Win Philosophy

The Win/Win or No Deal Philosophy 

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