Yeah, it’s crazy. Here, you thought I was going to give you some crazy formulaic script that you can just repeat verbatim that was going to get you the girl every time and now you’re stuck with just,
Makes me seem like such a jerk, doesn’t it? Well, I’m going to give you more. I tell my clients all the time that it’s not necessarily what you say but how you say it. Sometimes, it’s what you’re not saying. Other times, it’s what you’re saying with your body. As important as those things are, at the end of the day, words still need to come out of your mouth and guys are just having a hard time with that.
Women are like guys in so many ways. They walk like us, communicate like us (fortunately, they don’t look like us) and they put on jeans one foot at a time, too – with the exception of a select few. But if you don’t even know the woman, there’s nothing about them (that you know) that makes them superior to us and vice versa. Sure, they are beautiful people and I love them, but we are equals when it comes to social interaction and developing an intimate relationship.
Let me give you some guidelines to enable you to say something.
If you’re stuck trying to find out what to say next, just look around. Wherever you are, there will always be something to comment on. If you’re out at a bar, I’m sure there is someone in there with there shirt collar popped. Comment away. One thing that I love doing is people watching. I think it’s the most fascinating thing to do with people. There is so much that can go into creating a story of a total stranger just by watching them. It’s entertaining and it let’s her know that you are a fun guy that has an imagination and know how to just chill.
Be funny. Crack jokes and show your sense of humor. Don’t have one? That’s fine. Go to comedy shows or watch them on TV. Not many people like Dane Cook but he’s a good person to watch to learn how to tell a funny story. Other great comedians would be Chris Rock, Katt Williams and Wanda Sykes. Humor is sexy and if you can make her laugh, you’ve almost won her over. Believe it or not, I’ve noticed that it’s rare to first meet someone and be susceptible to laughter. If you break that barrier, it’ll do wonders.
Act like the big brother without being him. A big brother will always make fun of his little sis but he will protect her to his death. I think it’s totally fine to have some playful teasing. Like I said before, there’s no reason to perceive her value to be higher than yours if you don’t know anything about her. As you compliment her, be sure to zing her every once in a while with a smart remark. DO NOT FORGET TO MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS YOU’RE JOKING. Too many guys try to play the serious route when teasing and it actually backfires, simply because it starts to look like you mean it. Simple solution: smile shortly after making the joke. It creates a fun dynamic and a little tension that makes you two more attracted to each other.
In terms of the protecting part, we’re all adults (for the most part). We can take care of ourselves. But, as a man, it is your duty to make sure that your lady is physically safe. Just make that nothing (including you) is impeding her from having a good time. I know that’s a vague statement, but it should be common sense. If she’s in physical danger, ensure her safety. Bonus tip: if you see her talking to a creepy guy and it look obvious that she needs to be saved (either you KNOW for a fact that this guy is a creepshow or she’s giving out signals that she doesn’t feel comfortable around him), take the initiative and save her from impending doom. There’s something romantic about saving a damsel from distress that some women find appealing even if it is just saving her from some random guy.
Finally, bring the E & O. Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, no matter whom you are with, have some energy! Be positive about life and what’s going on around you. Time and time again, it has been proven that positive thoughts will lead to positive things. Maintain that mentality and people will sense and feed off of it.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Do You Want to Empower Your Love Life?
If so, sign up for The State of the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.