This is a great inforgraphic showing how Facebook can affect not only your relationships but also your general social skills. And this is just Facebook alone. Imagine how the combination of other social networks can affect everything even more. Has Facebook affected your dating life? What about your other relationships? Did you even know "domestic partnership" was even a relationship status option? Leave comments below and let's talk about it.
The Key to Confidence Lies With Your Body
When I work with my clients, I tell them one very specific thing. Confidence is an emotion -- and emotion comes from motion. Motion in this case, is physically doing things that can trigger a confident emotion.
This was something I learned on my own when I was out at social venues. I started to notice that when I did certain things, it sparked a chemical rush in my body that I later evaluated as confidence. I also knew there had to be some science behind this theory. Now I have the video to prove it.
Thanks to my buddy, Sunny for sending this to me -- an amazing presentation by Amy Cuddy on how your body language shapes who you are. This is guaranteed to be one of the better things you'll watch this year.
How to Get the Perfect Hairstyle
For every occasion. My barber, Rob, from Blind Barber in New York City did a video with AskMen on how to find a great hairstyle for your head shape. A great style can dramatically enhance your overall appearance. Which makes sense, considering the first people women see when they first meet you is your face.
Men Are Better With Money Than Women
It's science! This infographic shows men are better at managing money than credit. But trust me when I say, these stats go out of the window when it comes to men dating women they're attracted to. Do you know why? Ladies, do you disagree? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
How to Date Alicia Keys
Swizz Beatz just dropped 2 minutes of amazing knowledge on how to have a great relationship -- especially one as attractive and successful as Alicia Keys. Pay 1000% attention to his points as these will not only help you have a strong, long-lasting relationship, but also get you into one. Remember, communication starts at first glance.
Nights with Steve: Drinking
This continues my Nights with Steve series. To learn more about this series, click here.
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I remember when I first heard my dad explain to his friends what I did for a living.
“He gets paid to drink.”
After an attempt to correct him, he modified it.
“He gets paid to go out with people and drink with them.”
A failed attempt.
Regardless, drinking does happen when I’m out with clients. When you go to a bar, it’s 100% designed for you to spend money -- mostly on drinks. Over the course of a night, drinks will be a major factor in how you act around people. From “liquid courage” to buying a round for the ladies across the bar, I’ve seen it all.
Then there are some who take it to the next level. Steve likes to drink as much as the next guy, but when he gets nervous around women, he tends to drink a lot in order to ease his anxiety.
In theory, it works, but what happens after is what you would tend -- or wish -- to forget.
On a recent session out with Steve, he was having a hard time approaching women. He’s had success before but just couldn’t get himself in the right state of mind that night. He decided he needed a have a drink to calm his nerves.
After a rum and coke, he was able to successfully approach the first woman of the night. I can see the gears turn in his head; he equated having a drink as the means to approach women. I warned him while working together, it’s important to limit drinking so you can better understand what you’re learning and control the sober version of you in a social-charged environment like a bar or lounge.
For the sake of transparency, when I work with clients, we agree to limit our drinking to two drinks a session to really push you in your "sober" mindset. Steve understood that but because he thought having drinks would help his success with women, he couldn’t give it up.
The more he drank, the looser he was, and the more he approached women. The guy became an approaching phenom. Women were responding well and he was getting excited. Things were going great.
Then, the night took a gradual turn as Steve began to get drunk. His words began to slur. His body language became poor as he was hunched over and projected lower energy. Also, his selection of quality, compatible women degraded as his judgment did.
While we were talking with a group of women, eventually, one was repulsed by how he was acting and told him to get away. A little belligerent at this point, Steve said some not so nice things in response. What happened marked the first time I’ve seen a guy physically get pushed out of an interaction with a group of women. I walked over to ask the ladies what happened.
“He was drunk and sloppy -- not a sexy look. How are you able to handle your liquor and he can’t?”
“I don’t rely on liquor to have a good time,” I responded and walked away to look after Steve.
When I approached him, I didn’t even have to open my mouth before he told me, “dude, I’m not drinking when we’re working together anymore.”
When we drink, the alcohol taps into our subconscious and brings out who we think is the best version of ourselves -- and in a few cases, this is true. We’re less uptight, more confident, and social. But with every upside of drinking, it comes with its fair share of side effects.
Impaired judgment, loss of coordination, inability to articulate words and maintaining posture -- wouldn’t it be better to learn how to be that awesome confident person sober, while avoiding the side effects of being drunk? As you get used to being in socially-pressured environments, you soon realize that alcohol has ZERO effect on your ability to approach and connect with women. YOU DO.
This isn't meant to be a public service announcement. But if there's anything you can learn from Steve, don’t let alcohol be your crutch when meeting women or working on your social skills. It’ll end up not only hurting your development, but also your wallet and regrettably, your head in the morning.
Introducing Our Newest Service: The Angel
After working with over 400 clients over the past 4 years, I’ve noticed more patterns and insights than I could have imagined. I started the company to execute one simple mission: To prevent anyone from having to go through the heartbreak and development I had to go through, which lasted 5 years. If I could just expedite their own growth process by just a half, they’d save 2.5 years and be able to enjoy their life, instead of “figuring it out.”
After a marriage, engagements, and many relationships, I’m proud to say we’ve done a good job. But, our work is never done, and we’re set on providing as many ways to achieve the kind of success in love and in life you’ve been looking for as possible. Recently, there was a turning point where I realized that, as a guy, I might not be able to have the same influence as a woman would.
I noticed many of my clients responding to the women I had around who were listening and providing their own insight. After talking with these clients more, it became clear that they were more responsive to our feedback when validated by women. That extra reassurance really helped to bring our advice home.
Looking deeper, there were a variety of reasons why this was happening. There were some guys who were more comfortable talking about dating and their emotions to women. Many of these guys grew up in matriarchal homes or were surrounded by sisters growing up. Once I saw this, it occurred to me that there ‘was an opportunity to create an option for guys to use our service, without feeling pressured to have to work with guys.
This didn’t just mean providing a woman to go out with them and help them meet other women. We needed to take it to another next level. So I decided to train women to do what I do by answering the top 5 biggest sticking points men have, based on the 400+ clients I’ve worked with over the years -- fashion / style, approaching, flirting, conversation, and getting the date.
So after many tests, tweaks -- and even beta testing with real clients -- we’re officially opening up the Angel service to everyone. Our female strategists will help you get the type of results you’re looking for and we couldn’t be more excited about it.
You can read more about the service -- and sign up -- by clicking here but we’re sure to get a few questions so let me answer the most frequently asked.
Is this service just for men? No, this service is for both men and women, just like all of our other services (except The Elite). In fact, we believe because of the way we’ve coached our Angels, this service will be more effective for women. If you’re curious about how, send me an email to talk about it.
Can we choose who we work with? Not initially, we’ll choose who we think is the best fit based on your goals, sticking points, and our Angel’s coaching style. If after working with your Angel, you’d like to keep working with her, you can do that.
Will I get to see my Angel before our session? Yes, prior to the session, you’ll be given a pre-session document that will have bio and picture of your Angel, the time and place you will meet her, proper dress code and contact information in case you are running late. Your Angel will also receive information about you (based on application and initial strategy session) to know who to look for at the designated location.
Lastly, The Angel service, like all of our services are backed by our company-wide guarantee, promising you results and giving you no reason not to try it out. Celebrating our 4th year in business, we are looking forward to this next stage in the evolution of our company and helping many more of you find success in dating.
Take Advantage of Spring Fever
It’s March, which not only means we’re only weeks away from spring (thank goodness), but there are also things happening this month here at The Professional Wingman. It's our most engaging month of the year and we’d like you to be a part of it as a fan, reader, or client (past, present, or future). Here is a brief calendar of milestones coming up:
Today
We’re just thankful it’s no longer February. Besides that, we’ve launched an NYC-exclusive “store” through our friends at Zaarly. Check out what exclusive services I'm offering, choose your favorites, submit praise, and share with your NYC friends. I'm really excited with the variety of services being offered and look forward to working with more New Yorkers.
March 2-3
I'll be in Washington, D.C. and while my time there will be extremely limited, if you'd like to schedule a potential session for Saturday night, we can talk about it and see if it's possible.
March 4
We’re launching our new service this Monday and will announce details and more here on the blog.
March 8-16
I will be Austin, Texas for SXSW, the yearly film, interactive, and music festival. SXSW will always be dear to my heart as it was the place where the idea of The Professional Wingman was founded. We’ll be offering services and FREE Initial In-person Strategy Sessions throughout the week so if you’re in Austin, this will the best time to work together. Click here to sign up to chat and we can book a time slot in time for you.
March 20
We’re hosting a fun party in Boston to celebrate the first day of Spring and the company's fourth anniversary. Details will be announced to Team Wingman on Twitter and Facebook on Monday.
March 29-31
I'll be in Philadelphia for the first time since 2008! It's been long overdue and it's by far my most exciting trip since Jamaica back in 2009. I might hold a smaller party that weekend and will send details to members of the Wingman Labs (sign up at bottom of page) once it’s official. If you’re interested in coaching that weekend, apply here and we’ll set up a call to see if you qualify.
It’s a very busy month for us -- and this is all before we take on the West Coast in April (details coming soon). But we're looking forward to seeing and helping many of you this month.
How Do You Get the Ideal Woman?
In my occasional snooping around on Quora, I came across this answer, by Oliver Emberton. It was later picked up by AskMen so I thought it would be good to share here. Enjoy.
Imagine how you'd feel if your dream girl said she might "settle" for you. She had someone better in mind, but he was out of reach, so with reluctance she decided you'd have to do. Belittled? Inadequate? Pathetic? Don't do that to someone else.
OK, so you want this ideal girl? Chances are she probably isn't the one you think she is -- but that doesn't mean the journey is pointless. It could be the wake-up call you need.
One of the wonderful and horrendously unfair things about being a man is you have huge opportunity to increase your own attractiveness. Whilst women tend to be judged more by their looks, men tend to be judged more by who and what they are. That's good news for you, especially with your current attitude -- the scope for improvement is likely massive.
Firstly, forget about chasing women. They don't find desperation attractive, and you need your concentration elsewhere. Notice the most attractive guys rarely if ever chase. Notice the least attractive are whiny, clingy and fawning. Don't be one of them.
Now you need to craft a personal mission to improve yourself. This will be deeply personal to you, but generally you'll want to make the most of your health, wealth, appearance, social awareness and develop a broad range of interests and skills. This is not a 20-minute exercise, and if you need one of those, you probably should go back to feeling miserable.
Some examples:
-Volunteer: give blood, teach, build a shelter
-Take a dance class
-Skydive
-Learn to cook
-Travel somewhere life-altering
-Take up a sport and get good at it
-Join a book club
-Learn about body language and human psychology
-Seek out the best media -- music, film, books -- and develop a deep understanding of them
-Learn a magic trick
-Start a company
-Try public speaking
-Learn to dress well
-Raise money for a good cause
-Start a creative project -- like a short film, a single or a short story
-Get a coach to help you
-Learn a musical instrument
-Make a crap-ton of money
-Run a marathon
Do something to inspire others. Do something to inspire yourself. You'll quite literally be a better person, and a damn sight more attractive. Your life should be a testament to greatness, not a self-piteous whine.
Chances are your ideal girl really isn't. It sounds like you're so attached to her as an ideal you can't see her as a person anymore, and clinging on to that thought is only making you depressed. You need to direct those energies elsewhere.
You and you alone hold the power to turn it around and make something more of yourself. Your life is your story to write -- and the hero always gets the girl.
