Details on Our New Online Course

We're really excited about opening up our first online course, the Wingman Guide to Better Style, but we want to give you some details on what to expect. The course will open up on April 2nd, you can go at your own pace, and the course is available to you forever. There are 4 video modules, each focused on developing a better in-person presentation, including social skills. Here's a little bit of what you'll learn:

• How I discovered what works with fashion and style and then how I was able to help both men and women find success
• How to optimize your DNA that’s attractive to anyone you’d like
• What to do to improve your look through simple fashion and style enhancements
• Communicating through body language
• Where and how to meet influential people
• How to flirt for romantic, professional, and personal purposes

In addition to the hands-on exercises, resources, and examples from real people, in between Modules 2 and 3, I will be personally available for "open office" hours where you can ask me anything in relation to the course, or general advice pertaining to dating, image, and lifestyle.

If you’ve ever wanted to finally improve your image and social lifestyle, where you can learn at your own pace, then you’re going to love this course. It’ll be entertaining, spontaneous, brutally honest, and most importantly, so much fun.

While this course is open to everyone, we're specifically targeting those who have limited experience in fashion, style, and social skills and those who are having trouble getting over certain sticking points, preventing them from projecting confidence and making quality connections. So even people with "above average" experience will learn things that will take their dating life to the next level.

The best part, in my opinion is the price. At $17, it's by far the most affordable program we've offered up to this point. To sign up for the course, you can click here.

We're looking forward to offering more online courses like this in the future. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

How to Meet Women At The Gym

First of all, this video is hilarious -- don’t be this guy.

I get asked by my clients, specifically men, all the time for advice on how to meet women at the gym -- and for good reason. There are a ton of attractive women at the gym. But the gym is a very difficult venue to meet women and there are a lot of risks involved, the biggest being potentially creeping her out, making it tough to go back to that gym (or her feeling uncomfortable going). So if you want to meet women at the gym, there are two ways to it. There’s the way shown above, which will get you the results I just mentioned; and the way I’m going to show you now.

The first thing is you want to limit the time you approach the women you’re interested in. Depending on the size of the gym, with two or three bad approaches, word can spread quickly and make you a total outcast at the gym.

The second thing is being consistent with your gym activity. You want to go the gym around the same time each day. Like going to the bar, after a while, you become more comfortable with the environment and not only will you notice the other people there at that time, they will also see you as a regular.

While at the gym -- working out, of course -- understand that any interactions you’ll have will be short and no effort should be made to extend it unnecessarily. You don’t want anyone’s impression of you being “that guy who’s always interrupting their workout.”

Because the context of your interaction (remember the 3 C’s) is working out, you can leverage that to say something and begin establishing a level of comfort. For example, if she’s on a machine you’d like to use, you can say, “Hey, do you mind if I hop in between your sets?” From there, you can make an observational statement (“you’re always working out around this time. You coming here straight from work?”), or a tease, such as switching the weights to make them incredibly heavy, then making fun of her for switching them back ("oh, I thought that's what you had before...I just assumed you were that strong...").

Whatever you say, the idea is to make every interaction fun. Over time, the two of you will become more familiar and know when each of your breaks are so you can have longer conversations. After a several interactions over a few times at the gym, if there have been consistently fun interactions, you can definitely ask for her number.

PROTIP: If you’re at the gym late (typically after 8:30), you can just as easily ask her to grab something at the gym’s smoothie bar or a bite at another place. Remember, if you have an opportunity, it’s always better to go for the date over the number.

It takes time to really understand the dynamics of interactions at the gym so be really patient before making your move. Many people see gym time as their “alone time,” so the last thing they want is someone bothering them or making them feel uncomfortable, which is why it’s so important to consistently be friendly and fun -- while working out.

And if you're still not sure what to do, watch that video above and don't do ANY of those things.

Your Valentine's Day Cheat Sheet

I've found a few great resources for Valentine's Day for all of you last-minute wonders. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or complicated, there's  something here for you. Check out the links below.

The Valentine’s Day Formula For Success -- an article I wrote for couples and singles acknowledging the holiday as "the day for lovers."

The Procrastinator’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide -- suggestions by women for guys who wait until Valentine's Day to get a gift.

Looking for Love in All the Right Places -- a report that shows where more men and women are my major city. If there's an event or party going on tomorrow night in any gender-heavy areas, be there.

What Are the Best Cities to Meet Women?

I recently came across an article highlighting Boston as the best place for bachelors, by statistical research. 

Here are their top 10 cities for single men,

and single women.

It’s funny how you can take different variables and one shift can make Indianapolis, Indiana the best place for guys. This is why I never buy into these things. Just look at what they qualified as a date: a 12-inch Pizza Hut pizza, movie ticket and 6-pack of Heineken. Pizza Hut? Heineken? I mean, I'm more of a Domino's and Yuengling kind of guy, but seriously? While these are great for content, they’re never accurate.

Do a simple Google search on “best places to meet women,” and look at how many different cities come up. As much as we love crunching the numbers and seeing what comes up, the truth comes down to one thing.

As much as this article says Boston is the best place to meet women, Boston serves as my biggest client base. How can it be so easy to meet women, yet so many guys look for our help?

Social skills. With the right social skills, you could go to Lincoln, Nebraska and meet any woman you’d like to date. So while these articles can serve as a point of reference, it's important to understand that while there may a ton of options available as a guy, it doesn’t mean your odds are better. You create your own odds, no matter where you live.

The Evolution of The Professional Wingman

When I started TPW, I always saw this as a legit company -- not just a one-man show. And while a good company finds ways to evolve over time, a great company finds ways to innovate while doing it.

I’m always looking to create something different, sticking to my missions of proving anyone can develop social skills and virtually ending worldwide awkwardness. I’m confident what we have coming up will be our biggest innovation yet.

The shift will come in three phases.

Phase 1: February 6th (this Wednesday) 

There will be a total website design. Built from the ground up, the idea was to make the site simpler, easier to navigate, and a better experience for fans, readers, and clients. I'm really excited as a lot of work was put into it and can't wait to hear the feedback from everyone. 

Phase 2: February 20, 2013 

That day will be the last day where ANYONE who would like to work with me will be able to (if you’re accepted based on initial consultation). Ever since I started this company, it’s been an amazing learning experience, even surprising myself at times. Nearly four years later, as a much smarter business person, it’s time to make significant changes while creating more opportunities to help singles get better results in their dating life.

Does this mean I’m no longer coaching? Of course not -- in fact, I’ll be even MORE hands-on with the clients I work with. But we are shifting in a new direction that will make sure this company stays around for years to come.

Phase 3: March 4th

We’ll be launching a new service that will be fun and effective for clients looking for simple tips and strategies for improving their nights out on the town. Months of research and planning has been put into this and with any new shift in a company, it’s nervous and exciting at the same time. It reminds me of when I originally started TPW. Friends and family basically deemed me insane. This, in some ways, is no different.

Although it wasn’t easy, It was a good thing I ignored the noise and trusted my gut.

To be direct, if you ever wanted to work with me directly, this could be your last chance. This is not a ploy to generate new clients -- my liver and I are really looking forward to less nights in the bars and lounges. More details will be shared over the days leading up to our big announcement. But for now, we’ll bring you back to your regularly scheduled awesomeness.

Dress For Attraction

Let’s be honest. Although we dress well to feel more confident in ourselves, we REALLY get our confidence from the validation of others.

We dress for each other

The average woman will spend nearly $1600 a year on clothes and nearly $13,000 on beauty products in a lifetime -- and that’s the AVERAGE woman. Guys who are looking for an attractive woman should know they spend MUCH more than average.

Why would they spend so much money? To be simple, it’s for guys. Don’t fool yourself for one second thinking you don’t dress well for women. You’re just fortunate to not have to spend as much as they do.

I could go deeper and talk about how dressing well can get you a great job, a raise, more respect, so on and so forth, but at it’s core, people dress for each other.

How important is fashion in dating?

Now, when you look at how a woman will typically rate your attraction level, it’s broken down into three basic categories, each with a percentage of importance.

Body language: 70-75%

Fashion & grooming: 15-20%

Content & tonality: 5-10%

Most guys I work with tell me they never know what to say to women when it has little affect on the outcomes of their interactions. Their most common problem is they neglect to fix the easiest one of the those three “fixable” categories -- fashion and grooming.

Think about it. While your abilities to carry conversation or exude positive body language may not be amazing, taking care of how you present your body can give you an easy 15-20% advantage over most guys.

Dress for attraction

Let's focus on the importance of the basics of any style of clothing you choose to wear. This is what I like to call “24/7” advice. This applies anytime, anywhere.

Fit. A slimmer fit is always better. You may see a variety of fits (Modern, European, Slim, Trim, etc.). Although they are all similar, it’s still important to find out which fit works best for you.

For example, shorts should be slightly just above the knee. Most tee shirts and polo sleeves should fit between your bicep and shoulder. And seams...seams are your best friends as they will guide you to the perfect fit on most any type of shirt.

You’ll see an immediate difference in how you look in clothes.

Layering. Layering will add a new dimension to your style and shape. Here is where you can start to be creative and define your own style. 

Most guys will start their layering journey by selecting a cool blazer. Have one that has lighter fabrics (linen, cotton, etc.) for the summer and one with heavier fabrics (wool, polyester, etc.) for the cooler seasons.

Layering also reinforces the importance of fit. You don’t want ill-fitting clothes to make you look wider or bigger than you really are.

Finally, layering will give you versatility in your outfit. For example, You can wear a blazer pretty much anywhere without feeling over or underdressed.

Colors. There are certain colors you’ll look amazing in -- and others you won’t. Find out what they are by asking WOMEN YOU DON’T KNOW. Don’t ask your family or any of your friends. You need unbiased feedback to really know what’s best for you.

When I was figuring that out, I went to a store, tried on a bunch of different color shirts and asked all the women in the store what they thought. The colors they loved, I kept them and have been wearing them since.

If you want to know what colors you can wear to attract the ladies, go to the source.

Grooming. This is the easiest of all the things you can do. Trimming your body hair, showing daily, and keeping your fingernails clean and neat are all things women notice. Neglecting these simple things will dramatically affect your attractiveness and will be had to recover from.

Invest the time to take care of this part of your life that is completely under your control. It’ll make the things that are harder to control a little easier.

Seize Every Opportunity: Be Prepared To Approach Anywhere

NOTE: This post is written by Staff Content Writer, Jamie Bardwell. Get to know him more on our Staff Page. Look for more from Jamie on how to talk to women.

A lot of guys tend to uphold the belief that attracting women should only take place in the evening, say at a bar or a nightclub.

However by subscribing to this method of attracting women you are significantly reducing your own opportunities to meet new women and create a connection with them. Opportunities are everywhere!

But why do we automatically assume nightclubs are the best place? 

There are good Psychological reasons for this. 

1. Firstly … all guys put more emphasis on approaching women in clubs – this in itself fuels us to believe that it’s the best place for it because everybody around us is doing and thinking the same (strong social proof). What others do and how others think shapes our own behavior significantly! 

2. We are subject to something called ‘confirmation bias’ which is the brains inclination to create links between our behavior and the desired outcome. For example, we approach a woman at a bar and it goes perfectly, we get her number, we meet up and go on a few dates (it’s like you’ve recreated a romance novel) – and our brain decodes this as “meeting women in nightclubs is an awesome place to meet women” – reinforcing our existing belief about nightclubs. 

On occasions where it doesn’t work, we unconsciously filter those out because it doesn’t fit into what we already know and our existing viewpoint. 

3. What we think and how we behave are often driven by heuristics (rules of thumb). These are mental shortcuts that allow us to get from A to B quickly and efficiently. Our associations with approaching women in nightclubs as opposed to approaching in the street are that “it’s ok for me to approach in a nightclub and if I get turned down its no big deal”.

And perhaps that’s right – it is much less painful to get turned down in a nightclub than in other contexts that are more public or more obscure.  

4. Perhaps more importantly, we are driven by what’s easy. Our brains like to select the easy option – this preserves the brain’s vital resources in not having to work to hard, and again we instantly subscribe to the belief that meeting women in nightclubs presents itself as the best opportunity and actively avoid approaching in other locations! Because most men have much less practice at approaching in different locations, they tend to stick to what they know.  

Break The Mold! 

Okay so we get the message, we understand the psychology that drives us to think that nightclubs are awesome places for meeting women. We’re lazy, we like to do what’s easy and everybody does it. 

But the brain’s grasp on what we believe can be overridden, and opportunities to talk to new women present themselves everywhere (from travelling to work on the bus, to grocery shopping, in the street, and just about any location there are women present). You just have to be conscious and put yourself out there. 

Women are social creatures, they love to talk! If you engage them in conversation, you’re on the road to attraction!

So be prepared to approach in all situations, if an opportunity presents itself then cease the moment – don’t hope that you one day come across her in a bar because chances are you probably wont! 

If you’re struggling for motivation, mentally go through Eminem’s “lose yourself” on approach – just make sure you’re coming out with words in their normal usage rather than engaging in some kind or rap battle. Although a rap battle could be interesting! 

In conclusion, nightclubs are brilliant places to meet women – but they shouldn’t be the only place you approach. Change is brought about through consciousness! Opportunities to meet and talk to women exist in abundance; you just have to spot them!

2013 is the Year of Trust

Now that we’re past the halfway point in January and the motivation and buzz of the new year has passed, it’s up to us to keep the momentum going throughout 2013.

The best way to start is by taking your resolution list, and burning it.

I would love to see someone take a picture / video of this.

Not only do I hate resolutions, some people are just awful at remembering their 30-item list. Just look at the dropoff of gym-goers since January 1st. The truth is, the longer the list, the more overwhelmed you'll get and less likely you'll take ACTION, let alone accomplish anything.

The important thing here is to keep things simple -- and the easiest way to do that is focus on a theme for the year. So for 2013, the theme we’ll use to guide our development and future success is TRUST.

When I asked members of the Wingman Labs (my newsletter) what they’re theme was, I got an amazing response but there was one email that stood out,

“...I think that 2013 should be the year of Trust. Trusting that the systems put in place will guide us toward success. Trusting gut instincts. Trusting friends to set us up.  Trusting that we deserve more. Trusting our [new] partner, no matter how badly we have been hurt before. Trusting that voice in the back of our mind saying it's time to call in support/professionals. Trusting that the world is a beautiful place full of love -- because, after all, we only see what we look for, and we only get what we ask for.”

For some of you, that might be too much “flower power,” but the truth is when you trust yourself, it’s hard to come short of success. In other words, doubt and skepticism for any reason other than to challenge the status quo will hold you back. This is not only important for your dating life, but for other aspects as well.

Here are three points to building trust that we’ll focus on throughout the year.

1. It starts with you 

When you focus on your own personal development and create more consistentcy in your life, you trust yourself more and project that out to people. People want to be around those they can trust. It’s imperative when building comfort with a woman you're attracted to.

2. Do what you say 

Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk. Follow through is so important in dating, from telling someone you’re going to call them, to other levels of commitment you agree to. Being unreliable is one of the worst characteristics anyone can have.

3. Make your actions bold and assume the best in others

Speak openly, honestly without apology, and explain your reasoning. And unless she proves otherwise, assume she is trustworthy. When you see the good in people and shift focus from what you think might be bad, it makes it easier to have genuine connections with people.

Trust and risk go hand-in-hand

And yes, there is great risk in trusting -- but think about the risk in NOT trusting. When you extend trust, it becomes contagious; people extend it back to you. When you hold trust back, people tend to hold theirs back, leading to distrust.

But in order to extend trust, trust needs to originate from within. This isn’t about going into situations blind or believe everything you see / hear. This is about being smart with your judgment so you can minimize the risks you take and open up new doors filled with possibilities.

This the global theme. On Tuesday, we'll get into specifics. 

The Harsh Truth About Dating We Choose to Avoid [Video]

There's been a lot of talk about a recent article the New York Times released on dating. The ridiculousness of the article was so grand, I decided to post a video about it. Enjoy.

Power of Trust [Video]

Whether or not you're a sports fan, you will appreciate this commercial created by Duracell, featuring Patrick Willis, an all-pro linebacker in the NFL. I watch this video every morning. Here's what he says,

“Looking back on it, on how I got to where I am, I don’t know if it was because I was running towards something, or running away from it. But that didn’t matter. What I did know is, when you run into something -- something bigger, something meaner, something with the power to knock you down -- you have to trust in yourself. Trust that you can get back up -- and not give in. Ever. Because power isn’t just about going forward. It’s about not letting anything hold you back. You find it in yourself, you can go anywhere you want.”

Here is the video.

This week, I've been crowdsourcing ideas for what people would like the focus of 2013 to be on. I'll announce what it is on Monday -- in the meantime, let this inspiring video serve as a hint.