One of the most beautiful places in the world.I wrote this while I was in Jamaica last week, helping prepare for and attending my grandfather’s funeral.
I was going to share this with my Labs members but decided to share this one with the world.
It’s more raw than my normal writings and hope you appreciate that.
There is always a lesson to be learned from every experience. Here’s is what I learned from mine.
For those of you who don’t know, I am currently in Jamaica, where my family is from. Although, I would love for it to be a vacation, it hasn’t been. My grandfather passed away after 97+ years of an amazing life and I am currently here helping prepare for his funeral this Saturday.
I have been very fortunate to not lose many family members in my lifetime so far but after losing my grandmother this past March (on the 8th -- nearly a year ago) and not being able to attend her funeral, there was no way I could miss my grandfather’s.
The best part about it was my parents and aunts had no clue I was coming down. I decided to surprise and met them at immigration (our flights were 30 mins apart).
The expressions on their faces were worth it.
As my first time ever being in Jamaica not on vacation, it has put so many things in perspective. It was also given me time to reflect -- and write.
Today, I want to share some of those things with you.
There was something about my grandfather that was remarkable. No matter how much he aged, he remembered EVERYTHING. It was unreal. To give you an idea, when I was born, he was 71 years old -- and he can recount every milestone in my life, in detail.
It was amazing. For years, I thought it was a magic trick.
As I got older and understood more things about life, I started to see other things about him that was interesting.
As much as my grandfather was an amazing man, he was an even bigger ladies’ man.
He would share stories of women coming to visit him to see how he was doing and say hi. And he would always say something long the lines of, “but I know why they came by,” wink and put on a sheepish grin.
I later confirmed it with my dad -- he was a HUGE ladies’ man.
I remember when back in 2008 -- the last time I was in Jamaica -- I visited him. He said to me, “my grandson, no matter what happens to you, live your life with full strength and love everyone.”
I can’t help to look back and think there were elements of what he said to me that led me to creating this company and leading the life I live today.
And now, my life’s mission is through these words: Live with strength. Live with passion. Live with love -- words he lived by each day of his life.
I learned I didn’t have to be perfect. I just had to be the best of me. And honestly, even to this day, I’m not sure what’s the best of me -- and that’s the best feeling in the world.
Through this experience, I would like to share the 5 ways to really become the best of you -- and be the “ladies’ man” my grandfather was.
And even for the women reading this, these 5 ways will certainly improve your life just the same. My grandmother wasn’t lacking in her appeal either and she lived the very same way my grandfather did.
Understanding you have no idea what your “best” is, doing these things will make you more interesting, confident, exciting and engaging than ever before.
And that’s pretty exciting.
In short, I want to see you...
- Discover your value and give back to the world
- Ask for what you want unapologetically
- Create mentors in your life
- Learn from the opposite sex
- Live an active lifestyle
Alright, let’s get into each of them in detail...
Use your value to enhance the lives of everyone you meet
My grandfather was a true believer in using your God-given talents to make a difference in the world.
Before he was a groundskeeper at a hotel, he was a fisherman and a farmer. Every time he was able to catch any fish or harvest any food, he would give back to his community -- sometimes even before he brought food back for his own family.
Back then, there were few who could even do the things he was able to do so he saw it as his mission to help those who couldn’t.
He then used that same mentality to inspire my dad to become the youngest teacher in the school system at the age of 19.
And I found out that our family still stands as the only one to have so many people selected to the Jamaican National Cricket Team -- last time I heard, we had over 6.
And through that, I feel I was inspired to lead the life I live today, helping people find the happiness in their love lives.
You may or may not know what your talent or value is. Whatever the case may be, it’s your obligation to discover and provide that value to every person you meet.
The result: You provide a unique contribution to the world. The people who enjoy that will love and appreciate you for it. In other words, people are attracted to those who can give value and make their lives better.
Never be afraid to ask for what you want
There are many things in our lives we wished we had done.
You wish you talked to that woman on the subway.
You wish you asked her out on a date.
You probably would have even taken the number if she gave it you, right? But you didn’t ask for it...
The consistent issue I’ve seen with all of my clients is the one thing that has held them back from a more fulfilling dating life.
The willingness to fail.
Let me tell you something that I’ve told very few people. The night I was going to propose to my now fiancée, I was scared shitless.
Some of you may be wondering why I would be scared. Wouldn’t it be obvious that she would say yes? We have been together for over 2 years after all.
But here’s the funny part. At the time, asking someone to marry me was not like asking someone out on a date. I’ve done that plenty of times -- and I know what it was to be rejected, accepted and everything in between.
But I’ve never asked someone to actually MARRY me. Instinctively, my mind went to the idea there was a chance she’d actually say no.
And what resulted was fear, anxiety and the longest 45 seconds of my life when I went down on one knee to propose.
Looking back at it now, I laugh because it was pretty silly I thought there was a chance she’d say no after talking about marriage so much and her consistently telling me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.
But even though the fear and anxiety set in, it didn’t stop me from asking for what I wanted. And trust me when I say I know exactly what you feel when you want to ask someone out -- or even approach an attractive person.
The difference between then and now is you’ll acknowledge that fear, face it head on and beat it.
That “fear” is only what you make of it and you’ll always have a choice. Either let it cripple you or channel it toward something productive. Every time you make a choice defines your character each moment of your life.
The next time an opportunity exists to make a move, do it. I won’t lie to you -- there will be a chance it won’t work out. But the feeling you get from going through with it -- and possibly be successful will be unimaginable.
Learn from people who inspire you by spending time with them
My father was inspired by his father, my grandfather. Being raised by him gave my dad the once-in-a-lifetime chance of spending a significant amount of quality time with his inspiration.
Not everyone gets that type of chance -- and that’s ok.
The most important thing to remember is there will always be someone out there who has something you don’t or can do something you can’t.
If you REALLY want to be successful in your life you MUST spend time with those who have the success you’re looking for.
Although I have yet to meet Tony Robbins, I got to meet someone who was a tremendous inspiration in my life, Gary Vaynerchuk. In fact, he and his brother were so nice to allow me to hang with them at SXSW back in 2009 and inspired me to look into the idea of starting my own business and pursuing my passion.
I discovered the idea for my company a couple days after I got there.
And at the time, the success that Gary had was pale in comparison to what he has today. To learn from him at that stage in his life is something I will never forget.
Chance are you already know a handful of people who are better than you at something you want to be better at. All it takes is simply asking them how they were able to get where they are. These leaders and mentors will have no problem sharing their values of success with you if they see you’re willing to really do what it takes.
Befriend the opposite sex to understand their perspective uncensored
Remember when I talked about my grandfather being a ladies’ man? Allow me to share a quick story my dad tells all the time.
My grandfather was quite religious and was a devout member of a church in his town. Each Sunday he was able to get there, my grandfather would show up to the church on time and question those who were late. His saying was, “God doesn’t wait on anyone.”
Anyway, he had a lot of friends at this church and my dad noticed all of his friends were women. My grandpa’s response was priceless.
“No guys go to the church and even the pastor is a woman.”
And all of the women of the church loved him and had nothing but nice things to say. Meanwhile, my grandfather had a wealth of knowledge about women I’m sure my dad and my uncles learned a great deal from.
For me, it wasn’t until I stopped “chasing” women and became friends with them when I truly understood what I needed to know about women.
When you can understand and empathize with the opposite sex, that puts you leaps and bounds ahead guys who don’t have female friends, choose to “chase tail” and know nothing about women.
This experience alone is almost worth as much as discovering your own value.
Let me repeat that.
The experience you get from being with women who share themselves with you unapologetically and free from judgement will teach you more about women than you could do approaching and dating them for multiple lifetimes.
No one will ever tell you that because it’s counterproductive. Let’s face it, you want to DATE women, not be friends with them -- and I get it.
But it won’t be until you truly understand the intricacies and delicacies of a woman when you will have any chance to attaining and maintaining the quality, long-lasting relationship you truly want.
Regularly have things to do and be physically active in your life
I wish this could go without saying but I hear time and time again from clients who tell me they only go out once every three weeks and wonder why they aren’t meeting anyone.
If you’re staying in at home watching TV, you’re not going to meet anyone. But maybe you’d rather know what happened on The Voice. The choice will always be yours.
But for those who want to do something about it, think about it in business terms.
If you were trying to set up a meeting with someone and he told you he was busy at the times you suggested, you may perceive his time as more valuable and be enticed to meet with them even more.
The same thing goes for life. The more active you are and keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy, the more valuable your time will be to those who want it.
But that’s not all. As much as your lifestyle needs to be busy, it also needs to be conducive to meeting potential suitors. It makes no sense to go out just for the sake of going out. It needs to serve a dual-purpose of having fun and also providing opportunities to meet others.
That’s efficiency, baby!
Your value and passion will be a good foundation to start from when determining how to create an active lifestyle.
And to be brief about being physically active, over 50% of Americans are overweight or obese -- which means they are VERY likely to have a heart attack at a younger age.
For women, that is something they strongly consider when choosing a man. So, it would be in your best interest to take care of yourself and stay healthy.
Notice I didn’t say get ripped or have a six-pack. Those things are luxuries and aren’t required to attract women -- but will help your case undoubtedly. Overall, taking care of your body and being healthy stands you out more than you believe.
Being with my family for a week in Jamaica has helped me refocus on what’s most important in my life.
For you, I’d like you to take my grandfather’s words to heart. Use them to lead your path to success with full strength and by sharing love with everyone you meet.
I hope these words serve you.