I said this in a conversation I had with someone at a recent event and think it's a good way to start off 2013.
"Becoming a better man and learning how to project your best self is a lot like a marathon. You can't just decide your going to train by running 26 miles the first day. You have to start slow and push yourself each time, seeing where the line is and how far you can push it. Eventually, you'll get to 26 and then running 5 miles is as simple as a handshake."
2012 has been an amazing year.
My first client got married, and my advice has been used to not only find love, but to inspire significant change in people's lives, including getting a new job, losing weight, and starting a business.
We've grown the company, hired a few people, and have set ourselves up for a great 2013. Shit is about to get real.
For now, here's a rundown of some of my favorite and popular posts of 2012.
I kicked 2012 off talking about how improving your life isn't about doing just one thing once and hoping for success. It's about doing many things, many times. And many times, change is necessary in a part of your life not related to the change you want in another.
How I Helped A Client Recover From TWO Bad Breakups
Breakups happen. And this year, it was proven more people are looking for ways to move on from previous relationships. Here's I show how I helped my client get over two bad breakups, get engaged, and now married.
How To Meet Women on Public Transportation
We spend so much time commuting, why not find a way to make the best of it? This post became one of our most popular pieces this year. And readers used the strategy with success the week this went up.
Jamaica, Inspiration and the 5 Ways to Attract Women
This year, like any year, wasn't without loss as I lost my grandfather after 97+ years. While attending his funeral in Jamaica, I took time to write about how he inspired me and what you can learn about how to attract women.
Pretty self-explanatory. Plus, it's science.
How Leadership Can Make You More Attractive
As men, you need to set up more and be a leader, not just in your life, but in other's as well. Women really respond to a guy that has leadership qualities. This post teaches you how to acquire them.
Being needy is by far the most unattractive quality to women. Part of your neediness is your feeling of lack. But you don't have to create abundance to lose the neediness. Here's what you need in order take control of your dating life.
Active Listening and the Rewards Strategy
Listening is not only your key to carrying a conversation but also moving it to where you'd like it to go. This post teaches you...how to listen effectively.
How to Have the Best Social Life
12 keys to having the best social life possible. Even doing half of these will change your life.
We have all hangups about sex, especially when it comes to women. But the reality is women feel very similarly to you -- and there are stats to back this up.
Here's what to do and not do when setting up the first date.
Here's what to do when you're actually on the first date.
Thank you for being a part of this journey. It's been awesome knowing you've been using the material here to create change in your life.
Get ready because 2013 is going to be awesome.
The peeps at Arden Reed created a cool infographic on how to wear a suit and I thought you guys would love it. Check it out. [see original post]
If you want change in your life, it starts now. Why wait until 2013?
As many of you will be visiting family, friends, and loved ones over the holiday season, now is a good time to remind you that the first thing people see is your face.
Your hair, teeth, and complexion are all things that can attract or detract those around you.
This may appear a little displaced from our typical posts but few men address this and it has as direct a connection to your attraction level than anything else -- keep reading.
Let’s face it. It’s likely you’ve had the same haircut for the past 7+ years. It’s simple and it works -- I get that. But could you do something different to increase your attractiveness but without it being high maintenance?
Take a poll and ask friends, family, and strangers about your current look. Be sure to weigh the opinions of strangers more since they are the most honest group as they know nothing about you, personally.
If you’re not getting the responses you’d have hoped and it’s time to change your look, determine your head shape and start researching new looks. Celebrities are always flashing the most trendy looks so it’ll help you to start there for what styles may be good for you.
For more information on hairstyle or if you're looking for a good place to get cleaned up, check out Supercuts. They have exclusive tips and upcoming hairstyles of 2013 you can find on Twitter (@Supercuts) or by following the hashtag #RockTheCut.
Your hair is an easy and effective opportunity to stand out in a good way. As someone who takes pride in his hair more than the average guy, believe me when I say good hairstyle will change how women see you -- and women notice your hair. And the truth is it took several months and variations before I found something that works for me.
The second thing women notice the most is your teeth. For women, seeing good, clean, white teeth will typically equate to good, clean breath, which, if she’s attracted to you, will make her more likely to kiss you.
Without turning this article into a product guide, let's keep this simple. While expensive to fix, if your teeth are a mess, you’ll want to invest in fixing them at some point. But if that’s outside your budget, that’s OK -- making them clean and whiter is in everyone’s budget.
Personally, here is what I use:
Mouthwash: Listerine Total Care Plus Whitening
When it comes to bad breath, while it can attribute to what you eat and not brushing or flossing, you can use mints and mouthwashes to help that. Keep both handy and use them often because you’ll be giving hugs and getting close to plenty of people this holiday season.
Once these adjustments are made, you’ll see how quickly people are more responsive to you. And while it’s easy to make these adjustments, the hardest part of transformation is maintenance. But I’m sure once you start seeing the results right away, you’ll have no problems motivating yourself to maintain the new look.
Hey what’s your type? What type of guy do you normally go for? Am I your type?
On some level we feel that asking these types of questions will yield some accurate insights into a woman’s dating preferences and the characteristics that she finds attractive in a man, that ultimately she finds admirable enough to express a desire for.
Perhaps more sneakily, we feel that by asking this question we can move towards her ideal type of guy by meeting her strict criteria!
After seeing nonsensical posts the past week about how having 3-hour first dates are OK -- I had to set the record straight on what first dates are and what you should be doing on them.
Guys, if you’d like to see what to get your lady for the holidays, check out my ladies’ gift guide -- but you know I couldn’t leave you hanging.
Considering many of my readers are women, here is my mens’ gift guide. And guys, feel free to add to the list in the comments below.
The other night, I went out with Steve. To prevent outing who Steve is, I won’t reveal any specifics or logistics of where we went but only one thing is important here.
There were a lot of women around.
What’s always funny to me is seeing the kinds of excuses guys will make, holding them back from approaching women. Here is a sample of excuses I heard that night.
NEWS: We brought on a new writer to our team to produce great content here. His name is Jamie Bardwell and you can get to know him more on our Staff Page.
Take it away, Jamie...
One of the most fascinating psychological principles that have been shown to influence how attractive people find you is the concept of Social Proof.
This simple, yet highly influential mechanism can help drive women to you and boost your level of attractiveness.
When you take a woman out, or whenever you meet female in a club or in the bar, she will be unconsciously filtering in information to gauge how other people around are reacting to you. If the people around you respond to you in a positive way, this provides her with social proof that you are worthy of her time, and increases her attraction to you.
Based on this cognitive bias, it's more likely that women will find the same guy more attractive if he is talking with a group of people and having a great time as opposed to standing there on his own.
At an unconscious level, she is judging your general impact on your social surroundings. She's gauging whether other people are pleased to be around you, and your level of integration and engagement with other people, and whether they're eager to interact with you in return.
If other people regard you in a positive light, you are creating what's known as a positive social proof effect! That is, people are responding positively to you in the environment, which leads everybody else to adopt a similar perspective (without ever having to talk to you or meet you), purely based on the opinions of others in the environment.
In attraction terms, creating a positive social proof effect and interacting with others around you substantially increases the likelihood of women finding you attractive, and can dramatically increase your success with women.
“Generate the "social proof" effect, no matter where you are.” Tweet this.
You should always be looking for opportunities to engage with other people in the environment, and across different situational contexts. It doesn't matter if they are male or female; the idea is to get a strong social impact by engaging people near you.
There are no limits to how you can create a social proof effect. If you're in a bar, you might want to create small talk with the bar staff and bouncers. If you're on a nightclub dance floor, and you see a group of people doing the same dance, cheekily copy their dance moves!
Imagine you’re at a bar and a group in front of you orders a tray of shots….
You - "Hey guys what shots are they, I don’t think I’ve tried them before"
Group - "They're a mixture of different ones, sambuca, apple sours & jager"
You - "What's that green one? I've never tried that before but it looks tasty as hell"
Group - "You gotta try it, it's the nicest one"
You - "Thanks for your advice, I’m gonna order myself one of those! If it's disgusting, you guys owe me a drink!" *smiles
Creating a positive social proof effect can take many forms, and requires that you adapt to the demands of the situation. Be on the lookout for ways you can communicate with people in the context. Particularly, if people know who you are and you have a reputation in certain places (it doesn’t have to be bars or nightclubs), providing it's a positive reputation, this can create the desired social proof effect.
Overall, social proof is an important factor that can significantly enhance your success with women at a subconscious level, and provide women with a certain degree of confidence about your social nature, which cognitively biases their judgment of you beyond their conscious awareness. If others find you a blast to be around, and there is enough evidence stemming from our people’s perceptions of you that you’re a great guy, your chances of success will skyrocket!
