WingmanTV Live TODAY!

Today I am REALLY excited to be doing my FIRST WingmanTV Live! And boy, what a special event it's going to be. Not only will it be part of a back-to-back segment with Nomx3, a show that goes to lunch, (literally) but also Gary Vaynerchuk will be doing a book signing for his new book, Crush It!

This is a very meaningful moment in my life, considering it was only over a year ago that I discovered Gary Vaynerchuk. His relentless attitude and positive aspect on life, inspired me to start what The Professional Wingman is today. He has (and his brother) been a great mentor to me and I can't possibly thank him enough.

It's kind of cool that while he's celebrating his latest milestone, his newest book that is killing the Amazon rankings, I am celebrating my own milestone, having my first live show. It will be streamed live (Follow me on Twitter to get the active link) and I'll do what I can to have it set up on the site here.

If you can't watch the live streaming today, look out for the show next Monday.

I thank you all and I hope to hear from/see you soon!

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Don’t Know What To Say to Women? Here’s the Answer


Say anything.

Yeah, it’s crazy. Here, you thought I was going to give you some crazy formulaic script that you can just repeat verbatim that was going to get you the girl every time and now you’re stuck with just,

Say anything.

Makes me seem like such a jerk, doesn’t it? Well, I’m going to give you more. I tell my clients all the time that it’s not necessarily what you say but how you say it. Sometimes, it’s what you’re not saying. Other times, it’s what you’re saying with your body. As important as those things are, at the end of the day, words still need to come out of your mouth and guys are just having a hard time with that.

Women are like guys in so many ways. They walk like us, communicate like us (fortunately, they don’t look like us) and they put on jeans one foot at a time, too – with the exception of a select few. But if you don’t even know the woman, there’s nothing about them (that you know) that makes them superior to us and vice versa. Sure, they are beautiful people and I love them, but we are equals when it comes to social interaction and developing an intimate relationship.

Let me give you some guidelines to enable you to say something.

If you’re stuck trying to find out what to say next, just look around. Wherever you are, there will always be something to comment on. If you’re out at a bar, I’m sure there is someone in there with there shirt collar popped. Comment away. One thing that I love doing is people watching. I think it’s the most fascinating thing to do with people. There is so much that can go into creating a story of a total stranger just by watching them. It’s entertaining and it let’s her know that you are a fun guy that has an imagination and know how to just chill.

Be funny. Crack jokes and show your sense of humor. Don’t have one? That’s fine. Go to comedy shows or watch them on TV. Not many people like Dane Cook but he’s a good person to watch to learn how to tell a funny story. Other great comedians would be Chris Rock, Katt Williams and Wanda Sykes. Humor is sexy and if you can make her laugh, you’ve almost won her over. Believe it or not, I’ve noticed that it’s rare to first meet someone and be susceptible to laughter. If you break that barrier, it’ll do wonders.

Act like the big brother without being him. A big brother will always make fun of his little sis but he will protect her to his death. I think it’s totally fine to have some playful teasing. Like I said before, there’s no reason to perceive her value to be higher than yours if you don’t know anything about her. As you compliment her, be sure to zing her every once in a while with a smart remark. DO NOT FORGET TO MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS YOU’RE JOKING. Too many guys try to play the serious route when teasing and it actually backfires, simply because it starts to look like you mean it. Simple solution: smile shortly after making the joke. It creates a fun dynamic and a little tension that makes you two more attracted to each other.

In terms of the protecting part, we’re all adults (for the most part). We can take care of ourselves. But, as a man, it is your duty to make sure that your lady is physically safe. Just make that nothing (including you) is impeding her from having a good time. I know that’s a vague statement, but it should be common sense. If she’s in physical danger, ensure her safety. Bonus tip: if you see her talking to a creepy guy and it look obvious that she needs to be saved (either you KNOW for a fact that this guy is a creepshow or she’s giving out signals that she doesn’t feel comfortable around him), take the initiative and save her from impending doom. There’s something romantic about saving a damsel from distress that some women find appealing even if it is just saving her from some random guy.

Finally, bring the E & O. Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, no matter whom you are with, have some energy! Be positive about life and what’s going on around you. Time and time again, it has been proven that positive thoughts will lead to positive things. Maintain that mentality and people will sense and feed off of it.

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The Day After #pepsifail, What Are People Actually Saying?

I thought it was important that people know how people REALLY feel about the Before You Score App. So I went after the target demographic (pretty much 21-27), gave those who didn't know about the application and demo, and had them tell me their impressions. I wasn't too surprised at the reaction, but you might be.

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Top 10 Bro Codes for Dating

Since I was sick this past weekend, it gave me a chance to catch up on some quality reading. I was able to get thorough a total of two books (I was able to get through one whole book and half of two books). One of the books I got to read was the Bro Code by Barney Stinson. For those who haven’t watched How I Met Your Mother, I suggest you check it out. It’s a funny show.

The book is a list of codes that all men who are “Bros” should follow. Some make sense and hold true to my group of friends, others are there for comedy and others are just downright out of control. Anyhow, many of these codes are related to dating. After sifting through, I’ve been able to come up with what I think are the top 10 codes that involve dating and are at least somewhat valuable.

At the very least, this list is VERY entertaining.

You can check out the book on Amazon here.

10. A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.

9. If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, his Bros shall offer no more than a “that sucks, man” and copious quantities of beer. To eliminate the possibility of any awkward moments in the future, his Bros shall also refrain from any perjorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite backslide window has fully closed.

8. All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman.

7. A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.

6. A Bro never lies to his Bro about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event.

5. A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/Chick Ratio at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

4. In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.

3. If a chick inquires about another Bro’s sexual history, a Bro shall honor the Brode of Silence and play dumb. Better to have women think all men are stupid than to tell the truth.

2. A Bro shall not kill another Bro or a Bro’s chances to score with a chick.

1. When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.

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Retro Post: Giving and Taking

I wanted to bring this up again because over the past several days, I've been hearing tons of women mention the phrase, "giving and taking." I think it's a really important phrase and men need to understand this if they want to be in a long-term relationship with someone they care about. Men need to really be aware of the different mentalities in a relationship and how it can benefit or hurt your relationship.

So without further ado, here is the Giving and Taking Series. Check out each entry and let me know what you think. I find this to be on the best series I have written so far.

The Win/Win Philosophy

The Win/Lose Philosophy

The Lose/Win Philosophy

The Lose/Lose Philosophy

The Win Philosophy

The Win/Win or No Deal Philosophy 

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Ask Out EVERY Hot Girl

This video comes from the inspiration of Gary Vaynerchuk and a comment he made during one of his keynotes. It's stuck in my mind and I want it to stick in yours as well.

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Wingman Approved or Unapproved? You Decide.

Buying a Woman Drinks

 

Clients ask me this all the time and I am going to put it to rest NOW. When it comes to buying a woman a drink, NEVER BUY A WOMAN A DRINK.

I know women out there are upset and that’s ok. I don’t care. There are reasons why I say this. It’s all about context. And here’s why.

Wingman Unapproved

Don’t buy a girl a drink within five seconds after meeting her. While no woman will REALLY refuse a free drink (in fact, women spend little amounts at bars for this reason alone), the moment you offer her one, it’ll only mean one thing. Even if this is not what you are trying to say, you are still saying this,

“You are hot. I know nothing about you, but I am willing to buy you a drink in hopes that I can validate myself to you. Also, you’ll be a little more liquored up and so maybe more likely to let a guy like me talk to you.”

It’s pathetic. You buy the drink, she takes it and then stands there, hoping that you’ll just walk away. She’s not really going to walk away until the drink is finished because she feels bad and it’s rude so she’s willing to give you at least the time it takes her to finish the drink. Yeah, you can win her over in that time, I suppose, but you’ve already put the odds against you from the start.

Also, don’t offer the girl you like a drink and not her friends. That is just not cool. If you ever want to be cockblocked, pull this move and it’ll be 100% effective. Why would you NOT offer her friends a drink? Is she THAT special that only SHE deserves the benefit of getting a drink from you out of the entire group? Want to know what you say then?

“I’m a douchebag.”

Either of these moves will be a #fail.

 

Wingman Approved

If you must buy her a drink, if she’s with a group, you are buying everyone a round. Personally, if you have the ulterior motive of trying to get with the girl, it’s not worth the investment of buying everyone a drink. BUT, if what you are trying to say is,

“You guys are cool, let me buy a round for you guys,”

and you actually mean it, then it’ll look SO much better.

Another situation of buying a girl a drink would be if you two were alone, whether isolated from friends or going over to another bar that night. Obviously, it’s been insinuated that the two of you would like to get to know each other in more of an intimate environment. If you are going to buy yourself a drink, it makes sense then to buy her one as well. It’s a good gesture and because you two have already gotten to know each other a little bit, the thought expressed above will less likely run through her head. Why? Because now you are having conversation over a drink as opposed to drinking over a conversation.

 

Pretty simple guys. Save your money or spend it on yourself.

*Wingman Approved/Unapproved is for entertainment purposes only. This is NOT advice and is only produced to evoke fun discussion and conversation. Misinterpretation of this as advice and using it in a social environment may result in brutal rejection, a drink thrown at you, a punch in the face and/or a huge social value drop. The Professional Wingman is not responsible for such misinterpretation.

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Women, Why Won't You Approach Guys?

I came across this post a couple of days ago and I had to re-post it on my blog because it's so funny to think that after millions of years of socia interaction between a man and woman, things still stay the same - EVEN THOUGH it's has been proven time and time again that doings things differently can produce better results. What am I talking about here?

Women approaching guys. This post is from Single City Guy. Check out his blog.

The question of approaching a potential date has come up in a series of recent e-mail’s and conversations with friends. On Twitter I asked if women approach guys or do they prefer to be approached. Between the responses I received and the answers from my friends the answer is fairly unanimous, women prefer to be approached leaving the sole responsibility on the shoulders of us men. You would think after some several million years of evolution of hunting and finding what we want, the hetero-male-sapien (if that’s not a word, it is now), would have patented this process. We haven’t.

Men face a lot of doubt when approaching a woman, regardless of our level of toolamship. There’s a reason Mystery’s three second rule works really well. It gets us to stop thinking and just do. The more confident and sure a guy is, the more comfortable they are in approaching a woman. The other strategy is to let things “naturally” progress, gaging our approach through more social avenues. Regardless of the type of guy and his method of approaching, we love it when a woman approaches us.

In an honest conversation with a friend, I told her “The same way you MUST have that pair of shoes is the same way you must think of dating.” Stop window shopping your only going to drive yourself crazy. Grab what you want, walk up to the counter and pay for it. Like any purchase it may fit you for years or you may end up asking for a refund next week. If you like a guy, try talking to him and ask him out, making it known that you are interested in him.

Approaching a guy doesn’t make you a slut or overbearing. When we’re approached it signals that this woman is interested. If your afraid of coming on to strong or making him think you just want sex, you’re probably approaching the wrong guy. We do not think any different of you if you approach us or if you don’t. A guy who just wants to add you as another notch to his bedpost will think of you the same way regardless of you approaching him or he approaching you.

How should you approach a guy? Easy, ask him out for lunch, drinks, coffee. Get creative if you have to, women your a lot better at getting our attention than we are!

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The Wingman Labs: Wingwoman?

People have asked me if it’s better to have a wingman or wingwoman in these kinds of situations. My answer: it depends. Think of it this way.

For those that watch Entourage, you’ll get this REALLY quickly.

Example wingman: Vincent Chase

 

The man is a superstar and can pretty much get any woman. The fact that I can just walk with him makes me look like a superstar as well. Why? Because the fact that Vinny wants to hang with me tells people that I must be a cool guy to have Vinny want to hang with me. This is how Turtle and Eric have been able to work their ways up to live the lives they’re living now.

The similarity here is that if you're hanging with your best friend(s), they are going to make you feel as though you have it going on, which will be a natural confidence boost. Women like guys who are comfortable in their own skin and can have a good time. A quality wingman will make you feel like the man all the time.

Example wingwoman: Brittany (Eric’s Assistant – played by Kate Mara)

An awesome friend and she’s very beautiful. Definitely can do everything that a typical wingman would do but she serves as standing proof that hot women like to be around you. That is the only thing having wingman can’t do for you (unless he can make up in other ways, such as wealth, fame, athletic stature, etc.). Women see this and they can actually feel better about the fact that women are comfortable around you. There’s also the wonder of if the two of you are dating, which inherently creates a jealousy complex that can drive women nuts and make you appear that much more appealing. That within itself is the true value of having a wingwoman.

I think I might be running the wrong service here.

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