Understand the Power of Hypnosis and How it Can Build Your Confidence

I got the chance to see this week's episode of the Men's Room. Luke Chao is the guest and he is a very knowledgeable man when it comes to hypnosis and reframing your thinking. He teaches so very powerful things that you can teach yourself right here, right now.

Let me tell you something. It may sound ridiculous what he's saying but when I decided that I wanted to do this, I only realize it now that this reframing and "self-hypnosis" was what I was doing to myself to transform myself internally to who I really wanted to be.

This is worth a listen. Otherwise, I wouldn't dare put this on my site.

Stop. Drop. Roll. The Principles of Success

No, this is not an instructional post about fire safety. But I will use the same principles to apply to dating, meeting people and life in general.

Living in such a fast-paced world, we get caught up so much in out lives that we never really take the time to slow down and enjoy the moment. Basically, our day lives are so jam-packed with duties, responsibilities that are time-sensitive that we carry that time-first mindset into our night lives. Clearly this can be read as not being able to loosen up in a more relaxed environment and lower your perceived value to people. I know that you are loosey-goosey and you want to try to show it to people when you’re out in social environments. But why does it have to stay in your night life? Why not use this all the time? So, I say, stop, drop and roll.

Stop. Whenever you feel as though things are just going way too fast, just stop everything. Take a second to reflect and catch up and get yourself together. There is nothing wrong with slowing things down and managing things in your time. It is your life. You’re allowed to do whatever you want with it. That includes simple things like slowing down your walk, your speech, general hand gestures, and other things. After a while, you’ll notice that the world around you will slow down too, allowing you to be better at making clearer decisions and leaving less of a chance for hiccups.

Drop. When you are out there, it’s ok to drop your guard. No one is out to attack you. No one knows you, really (except for your friends and you don't have your guard up for them, right?) And who knows what would happen if you open your self up to people. Every minute that goes on in your life you have the chance to make a connection with someone and potentially change either her (or his) life…or your own. In such a competitive world, it’s so natural to always be trying to get a leg up on someone else for your own success. Well in the bar, no one is trying to get a leg up on anyone else, so you don’t have to worry about that. Allow yourself to be a little vulnerable. People like that and will respond to that.

Roll. This is my favorite. When you are out there doing whatever it is that you do, just roll with it. Life is so much fun and if you just allow yourself to roll with where is goes (while still being within control, of course) you are going to open yourself up to so many opportunities. Whether it’s meeting women, making business deals, working at your job or just living life, it’s all about, going with the flow, rolling with the punches and just rolling with “it.”

I always use these principles when things may get a little overwhelming for me. It’s important to stop to collect yourself, open yourself to opportunities and just roll with it.

Ok, now I can contiinue my day peace, knowing that may have helped someone.

A Great Shirt and Tie Guide - Now You Have No Excuse

 

Wow, I can’t believe that it’s Thursday already. This week is flying by and I have so much to do to prepare for Podcast Infinity. Should be awesome! But anyway, on my day off from work, I have had a chance to catch up on a few shows.

Speaking of which, November has been a great media month so far. With great video games, TV shows and movies (well, movie – Quantum of Solace) coming out, it’s going to be hard to find free time to do anything else.

One of the shows I got to catch up on was Entourage. One of the scenes that stood out was when Ari had to convince Barbara to meet with his buddy Andrew Klein. In his success, Ari and Lloyd go and give Andrew a makeover to improve his appearance. He came out looking good.

I love sharing cool ways to help people improve their look and I came across one a couple days ago. It’s from Express (my current favorite store) and it’s called the Shirt & Tie Guide.

It’s pretty simple. It’s divided into three parts.

The Perfect Combination. Here, you get to choose different types of shirts and what kinds of ties will work. This is key for me because I never tried mixing striped shirts with striped ties and now, I know what to do. It’s a must-see.

Pick Your Fit. You get to check out the different types of shirts Express has: Modern Fit, Fitted and Premium. All of their shirts are great and they have awesome deals going on all the time.

What Knot to Wear. Like my previous post about the different ways to tie a tie, this one shows four different types of knots: Four-in-Hand, Half-Windsor, Windsor and Bow Tie.

Good stuff going on here, so I don’t expect anyone to have an excuse for why they can put themselves together. Take some risks and see what happens. And as always, if you actually go to an Express Men store, never be afraid to ask for help. They will hook you up.

Back in the Men's Room

 

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a new Internet show called the Men’s Room, hosted by Mark Sparks. I hace been following it week by week and it's so good that I really have to share some of this stuff with you.

Watch this episode above about Adrian Biccum. He talks about how learning to be a man will make you better with women and define your purpose in life. Watching this episode has taught me a lot about some of the things I had to go through (and still am) and how masculinity issues are what prevents a lot of us from really enjoying our lives.

A few other things he talks about are handling relationships once you're in them and handling breakups. Sometimes breakups do not have to be terrible and there is a lot of learn from the people that you were with.

I'll be the first to say that I learned so much about myself and what I needed to do to change my life from my last girlfriend. I will never foret these things and I'll never forget how she changed my life for the better.

You can also check the Men's Room website here if you want to see more videos. If I see other episodes worth posting here, better believe you’ll catch it here.

Demonstrating Higher Value


The Pick Up Artist Episode 5 Review

In this episode, Mystery challenges the men to pick up “hired guns.” Hired guns are women who have been hired, strictly based on their looks. So to prepare them, Mystery takes them to a women’s charity auction, where they will be auctioning off themselves. The goal here is to tell a story that demonstrates higher value and a higher auction price.

To demonstrate higher value, you have to tell a story that subtly indicates your social status. These little hints are things that women listen to in order to determine if you are a healthy mate. Of course, you can use body language to convey these things but eventually, you are going to have to open your mouth.

Here is my take on all of the things that you should project in order to maximize attraction:

Being interesting
Being unpredictable
Having style
Not appearing needy
Being a good lover
Being funny
Capable of creating a connection
Being secure with yourself
Being trustworthy

Others can include:

Already having beautiful women in your life. If your ex-girlfriend was a hired gun, right there it tells them that you are capable of attaining an attractive woman.

Financial stability. Note that this is different than having a large amount of money. If you are stable in your life, that is all you need. Forget what anyone else thinks. There’s no need to flaunt your money, like others do. They’re just compensating for another area that they may lack in.

Being a protector. If you can tell a story that talks about how you saved your girlfriend or your close friends from some type of trouble (basically be the hero), that’s huge for you. Any woman would love to be around a guy that they know will make them feel safe and protected. A very attractive quality.

Being a leader among men. If you can show that people look to you for direction or that you just lead a life dependent on no one but you, that is also a strong, attractive quality.

I’ll leave it at that for now. I’ll have a video post of what a DHV story would sound like very soon (You’ll have to sign up for the exclusive access – also coming soon!).

Ok, back to your scheduled review.

So the guys pretty much embarrass themselves on stage, except for Greg. He actually told a good, genuine story. I think that moment told me that he should be the favorite to win this thing. But he needs to step up his game and not rely on just looks.

Long story short, Matt wins the auction with $850. What was his reward? He gets to have Tara by his side during the field test later on that night. Each reward just makes it easier and easier to pick up women. Unfortunately, every time someone gets a reward, they don’t know how to use it effectively.

In Mystery’s lesson on picking up hired guns, he says that it’s important to neg (give a playful insult) right away, then go right into demonstrating higher value (DHV). I think you can do this in most situations when you are dealing with really attractive women. It simply just gives off the vibe that you see and have been with attractive women before and her looks aren’t going be her selling point with you. Isn’t that what it’s about anyway? Finding a connection that goes deeper than physical attraction?

Anyway, Rian has his usual breakdown so his count is now up to 5. What a loser. I don’t understand why he is still around. I compared him to Prahdeep from the first season and that was a mistake on my part. Prahdeep had a much better learning curve.

Mystery finally brings them to the field test – a bikini fashion show. And the guys have to talk to the women of the show. Now considering what their progress has been over the course of the season and how attractive these women are, they have no chance.

I’m not going to get into the interactions this week because they were all terrible pretty much.

Greg hovered and creeped out the first two women. Then he talks to another girl and bores her to death.

Brian used a good opener and opened up a group of 7 people but fizzled in the conversation with his quirkiness. He then followed a couple of the women and creeped them out. Then he approaches another girl and pretty much insults her. She doesn’t like it and they all walk away. Terrible.

Mystery, what are you teaching them? This is a joke compared to last season. You have more people watching this now then last season and this is what you show them? You’re not helping your name at all. Nor are you helping the public perception what is a pick up artist.

Rian opened a set and failed. A woman did show interest but he couldn’t capitalize.

Matt froze, even when he was with Tara. I just get frustrated with these guys. Greg just won’t pull the trigger. He can get most women to be attracted to him and he is just too scared to take a risk and make a move.

Simeon talked to two women and was able to get a number from the woman who was talking to Matt and Rian and showed some interest to them.

Clear winner here is Simeon.

Elimination: This medallion is called Jera, which is the rune of success. You can read all about it here. But I just can’t believe that they eliminated Brian.

Brian??!?!?! I mean, it makes sense because he was never able to draw attraction from anyone, but man, if you are going to eliminate him and he’s the most socially apt out of the group, how could you keep any of the other guys?

Now that the show has gotten rid of the Asians, now I need to find a new favorite. This one I’ll have to think about.

Am I A Pick Up Artist?

As I am on the awesome Bolt Bus headed to NYC for an event, I figured I would take the time to address something that has come up a lot over the past several weeks. Ever since I have started Project Infinity, I have always been excited about telling people what I do. I am totally passionate about it and absolutely love the idea of being able to help people improve their lives in any way possible. Because I mostly cover dating and building self-confidence, people tend to ask me questions like, “So you know how to pick up women, huh?” “So are you a player or some type of pick up artist?” My favorite by far is, “So you’re telling me that you can get any girl in here?” Sometimes, it bothers me because that’s not at all the point of me doing any of this. Sure, I’d like to be better at attracting beautiful women and I think it’s a very important thing to learn in life because it builds confidence and finding women to connect with is a difficult thing to find these days, but the idea of being seen as a pick up artist and how it is viewed in the public really bothered me.

When you think of a pick up artist, you will automatically think of Mystery, who is a tall, skinny fellow who wears things like a huge top hat, goggles, a feather boa and black fingernails. He is such a stand out, it’s crazy – but it works for him and he’s had amazing success in his life. Then you think about how some of these other guys that just seduce women into having sex with them and it can definitely put off any woman who knows this – understandably so.

So I decided to give people who interact with me a different approach to what they think is pick up. After talking with me, they finally understand what I do and how it’s different than the usual pick up artist. When I go out, I end up meeting a lot of people. I love meeting people. Socializing is my thing. I am always living in the moment and if I sense there may be a connection with another woman, then I’ll go after it – but it’s never planned these days. For me, it’s better not to plan these kinds of things because I will appreciate the moment, the interaction and the person more – as we all should do. Plus, you never know who you will meet that night. It could be someone that can change your life forever.

But then, I started to hear people still use the term pick up artist when they think of me and they would always explain, “I know you’re not one of “those guys.” I understand what you do and it’s changed my perception of who a pick up artist is.” I find that to be great but you’d still call me one? Am I really a pick up artist?

I got on my computer and tried to find the best definition of a pick up artist online and I came across the best one so far yesterday. It was so good that it inspired me to write this. It’s from Seduction Nation and the article can be read here. But here is their interpretation of what a pick up artist is.

“A pick up artist (PUA) is somebody that is able to meet and attract women with ease. They can mingle seamlessly in any situation, and leave almost any woman dying for his attention.”

The next line is what struck me.

“Contrary to what you may believe, anybody is capable of this – it just takes the proper use of [seduction] techniques combined with a cool confidence that only comes with experience.”

You hear that? Anyone is capable of this! You just have to go out there and work toward it. But I digress…

So based on that definition above, I would have to say, “Yes, I am a pick up artist.” But I would change it a little bit, replacing women with people. I am great at meeting and attracting people to me. I’m pretty cool in any given situation and people always look to keep in touch with me because in our interaction, I have connected with and impacted them somehow. And that's a great feeling because most likely, they have impacted me as well and would love to continue the interaction later.

It sounds ridiculous and might come off as over-confident, but that is essentially what networking, meeting people, and potentially meeting the love of your life is all about. If you’re not living your life trying to impact as many people as possible – and allowing people to impact your life – then what are you really doing?

So, I am a pick up artist and I am ready to change your life. The question is:

Are you ready?

Were You A Part of History Yesterday?

Yesterday was a big deal for me. Not only was it my first time voting, on my ballot, I had the option to choose an African-American to lead this great country. It occurred to me that we, as Black people have progressed so much! I mean, it was only a half-century ago when we couldn't even vote! And now, one of us has been elected President of the United States of America!

Well anyway, I took the opportunity to do my first video blog on this special day and I hope you enjoy.

What a day in history!

The Pick Up Artist Episode 4: Review



So after almost getting the shaft at the conclusion of Episode 3, Rian stays in and Karl gets the boot. Probably the better choice but it seems like Mystery’s decisions are pretty random. I don’t see who is going to become a pickup artist after this. I mean there will be one because it’s a TV show and they have to choose one but still. No one has proven to even be worthy of the title.

So this week is all about understand their sexual prowess (if any). Mystery asks a few guys about their sexual history. Looks like there hasn’t been much going on in these guys’ sex lives. That sucks a lot. There is no feeling like having a sexual interaction with a woman. Even if it is just a kiss, it can be the most wonderful thing in the world. I really can’t wait for these guys to get to that point. I’m just worried about how long it’ll take them.

Mystery introduces the group to a sexologist. She looks OK but I am a fan of Mystery bringing in these various women into the mix. I just expect the quality of women to increase as the show goes on. The sexologist’s goal is to teach these guys how to be a better lover.

I’ll just briefly comment that the mannequin idea was creepy, awkward and unnecessary. That’s all I’ll say.

She shows them some erogenous zones on a woman’s body – of course with a little female-on-female teasing action. Let’s see if I can remember the ones that she talked about:

1. Earlobe
2. Nape of the neck
3. Breasts
4. Navel
5. Hips
6. Back of knees

Another good one I like is the inside of the elbow. It’s just WAY too sensitive there.

The reward challenge was for them to practice hitting those erogenous zones with a live woman – the sexologist. They would be in a dark room with her for 90 seconds. She wouldn’t know who is who and so she has to choose the winner based on feel alone. The reward: an earpiece with a direct line to Mystery during that night’s field test, which usually guarantees a win.

Everyone was pretty bad in the end. Simeon was a creeper again, slobbering all over the poor woman. He even goes in there with his shirt off. Crazy stuff! Brian pretty much mauls her but that’s expected when the only experience is grabbing a fat person’s boob and running away. The winner ended up being Matt. The sexologist said that Matt seemed focused on her and was enjoying himself, which in turn made her enjoy herself.

Guys, remember that statement. Whenever it comes to sexual interactions, if you focus on her and just enjoy the moment, everyone will be happy. Trust me.

After that joke of a challenge, they get into the theme for today: Kino Escalation and the Kiss Close

When it comes to escalating to potentially a kiss, it’s a gradual thing. She needs to get used to you touching her. Maybe walking arm-in-arm is a great way to start. Then, maybe you’ll want to hug her or push her and tap her on her shoulder. Then eventually, the idea of you two kissing doesn’t seem so ridiculous. It’s all a gradual thing. One thing that I didn’t hear from Mystery or the other wings say that I actually think is important is that whenever approaching a set, it’s best to start kino right away. From the outset, even when you’re using your opener, place your hand on their shoulder or the small of their back. If not done creepily, you’ll be well on your way. If done creepily, you will be blown out – practice makes perfect!

Along with kino, there are compliance tests where you pretty much test how interested she is in you. Based on these tests, you should calibrate to her response and proceed accordingly. These tests are just simple tests to see if she’s is giving you indications of interest (IOIs), such as keeping any part of her body touching you, wanting to get to know you more, being playful/flirty with you, etc. I knew right away that these guys were going to have trouble. They’ve all been struggling creating attraction all season.

Oh, what are these compliance tests? Some examples:


1. Wanting to play a game
2. Making her do a spin for you.
3. Having her buy you a drink.
4. Letting you palm-read her.
5. Getting a hug.
6. And there’s more…

As usual, a separate post will be made on the interactions. I will say that the quality of the women that they are choosing now is getting better and the interactions have a little more substance for me to write about, so it will be fun talking about this stuff!

Rian ended up winning the field test. It wasn’t impressive at all. No one kiss closed and some of the guys couldn’t even number close. It was pretty pathetic. Matt, with Mystery in his ear, couldn’t do anything. I was just shocked at how slowly they are progressing. At least Rian put himself out there and kissed the woman, which I thought was a big step for him. No breakdown for him…yet.

This elimination ceremony presented the medallion, the Kauno (or Kenaz), which symbolizes enlightenment. Check this page out to learn about the Kauno.

Rian didn’t get to choose wingmen and it’s better that way. Mystery needs to start axing people right away. There needs to be some significant improvement or I will think of this entire season as a bust.

So who got eliminated? Not Greg. Todd. But I feel like Mystery just eliminated him randomly. You can see the look on Mystery’s face that he saw some potential in him and just let him go. But I also honestly think Todd might be gay and just doesn’t know it yet. In every interaction with a woman, he just doesn’t seem like he gets it. He has a great smile but something about him is just telling me that he is gay. Oh well. I’m sure we’ll find out sometime down the road.

Stay tuned for my analysis on some of the approaches when I get home and watch the DVR again. Man, I love that thing!

Learn the 10-10-10 Principle

Hope everyone had a great Halloween weekend! I had a big surprise sprung before me when one of my good college buddies was in town from New York. I haven’t seen this guy in almost 3 years and it was great to see him!

My buddy, his girlfriend, his twin brother, his fiancee, his younger brother and I hung out all weekend and on Saturday night I got to see his parents again, which was awesome. His mom is such a cool person and this article is actually dedicated to her because she taught me something that I plan to use in my life from this point forward and I want to share this with you as well as I know you, too, will benefit from it!

It’s called the 10-10-10 Principle.

With every decision that you make in your life, you have to think about how you would like it to affect you in the future. How is your decision going to affect you in the next 10 minutes? How will it affect you in 10 months? 10 years?

You make the decision and if you think that down the road it is going to affect you for the better, you go with it and commit to it.

If you have an amazing interaction with someone and you realize that there may be some things that might hold you back from getting closer to her, you ask yourself, “How badly do I want this in my life?” Is it going to be worth sending her that extra text 10 minutes down the road? 10 months down the road, could she be a significant person in your life? 10 years down the road, could she be the happiest she’s ever been in her life – married to you?

Life is so short, guys. Bring closure to every question that may come up to your head and go to no end to figure it out. We don’t get “lucky” by sitting around and waiting for something to happen. Those who get “lucky” go out and find their luck and don’t stop until they do. Persistence is key and that key could open something that could change your life.

These are the kinds of interactions that serve as points of inflection in your life. For that, I am thankful to know my buddy - and his parents, who have been married for nearly 30 years and still very happy. You think that’s rare? My parents celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary a week ago.

Anything is possible. It’s up to no one but you to make it happen.

So, when you make your decision, think about how it’s going to affect you in the 10s of your future. It could be the difference in changing your life.