How Tiger's Infidelity Will Help Him

Yesterday, I tweeted the following statement about Tiger Woods,

I think what he did was not the best idea. Even hearing the voicemail that was leaked, telling his mistress to clear his name from his phone gave me the chills. Here is a professional superstar (also known as an athlete), who has dominated his sport since he stepped into it, has made more money than anyone who has played anything with a ball, and has so much more time ahead of him to rule the sports world. Now, he’s in the middle of what he calls a “transgression.”

But what has he done that Kobe Bryant hasn’t done? Or Michael Jordan (gambling)? Or Andre Aggasi (drugs)? If anything, I really believe that this will be the point in which Tiger Woods finally becomes a man.

Everyone thought that he was untouchable. I’m sure he even felt the same way after a while. When you hear something so much, you start to believe it - doesn't matter what it is. He was so good at being concise, private with the public and making sure no one from the media was able to pry into his personal life. There was more information leaked out of Fort Knox then about his family. Then this very harshly brought him down to "our level of humanity."

But I think he’ll recover quite well. Maybe this will make him get out of his own stubborn ways and remember that his father left him to carry on his name with pride. Maybe this will make him refocus and reprioritze his life and his goals. Maybe this will make him realize that the media will do whatever it takes to get the information it needs that will help or destroy someone’s image and there’s nothing he can do to prevent that. Maybe this will teach him to man-up and accept more of his mistakes than just the major one he’s being scrutinized for currently.

I personally think now that he is “human,” he will be more lethal than ever, on and off the golf course. Just like how Michael [Jordan] came back, won another three championships and secured his right as arguably the best basketball player of all time, Tiger will make his surge, completely wipe out the record books and leave a stronger history than what he was already on pace to do.

For those who are reading, take this bit of advice. Do not do what he just did. It’s human to make mistakes, but not to cheat. Infidelity is just NOT cool. No matter what changes in your life, it’s important to stay grounded, be rational despite potential changes of emotion that may affect your thinking, and most importantly, maintain the E & O.

Like Tiger, you’ll survive.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Dating Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.

How to Be Attractive as a Single Man

There are some interesting points that I’d like to make about being single and learning how to become more attractive. I took these notes over 3 years ago and I am finally resurfacing them now. When I was pursuing a career in design, these ideas were really important to selling myself and delivering a message to my target audience. Now, I see some serious value in these same ideas when it comes to dating.

Use your ear. Listen and you will see. It sounds obvious but I still have to tell my clients how important it is to listen. As a guy, it’s imperative that you listen to what women are saying. Most of what she says WILL resurface in one way or another and how you step up will have an effect on your relationships and your ability to be that much more attractive.

We are in a digital age. Online dating is acceptable and more people are getting together and growing very strong relationships. I am getting more friends who have found their match online and are damn happy they did. We check email more than anything else these days. We’d rather text because it allows us to multitask. People even use the clocks on their phones as their modern day pocket watch! I’m not saying that this is right but it’s the way things are happening right now. Be more understanding and use these resources to your advantage.

Be fresh and groundbreaking. One of the keys to being the guy she’s never met is to live your life the way you want to and do things differently. For me, it was about living the following quote (before E & O became my mantra),

“Live for the line, not the dot.”

Live life for its journey, not the end. If you’re so focused on the outcome, not only will you lose focus putting significant pressure on yourself but you’ll also do the one thing life is meant for. Enjoying yourself.

Blur the lines and interrupt regularity. Piggy-backing the previous point, being someone that stands out gives you significant value. You are an individual. There is only ONE of you. Believe it or not, you are a walking rarity. Only one woman can potentially have the opportunity to be married to you. ACT like it. Anything that is unique about you is another opportunity to show people why you’re awesome. Which leads to the next point.

Be engaging or be DVR’d. If you’re not engaging, women will look elsewhere for entertainment. It’s that simple. Learn how to engage women more and women will want to stick around – even more, want to come back.

Expose yourself and create belief. Transparency and authenticity is wildly important in anything that you do. In dating, in order to REALLY get the type of woman that you want, you MUST be open and true to who you are. You almost want to be so passionate about being embracing your DNA, that it creates this element of positive belief. In other words, a woman can relate to you so much that they inherently believe in who you are and what you represent and that has infinite sex appeal.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Dating Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.

Date Spot: Kukiyama Japanese Steakhouse

Address: 350 Washington Street, Dedham, MA

Featured Date Spot!

Specials: Kibachi!

For an intimate, engaging and fun experience for dinner, this is the place to come. Food is cheap & plenty. They have a decent wine and sake menu. The table is set for your cook/performer to do his thing.

That's when the magic begins.

The cooks are very talented, doing tricks with their utensils. They also cook a fine meal. They treat the food and the cooking like an art, as everything is precise and done with intention.

On top of that everything from the soup to the entree is amazingly delicious.

This is a great place for a group date!

Rating: 93 A-

Introducing LoveNation

For over a month, I have been working on a new project that has quickly become my baby. And now, after long days and even longer nights, I pleased to announce the debut of LoveNation.

LoveNation is a web show hosted by yours truly and Laurie Davis, the eFlirt expert. She’s an online dating coach that has quickly garnered attention in the dating industry. If you’re not following her on Twitter now, then you should. Here’s the show’s description:

In an evolving dating world, there isn't enough support for couples and singles in unique situations. LoveNation covers the emerging trends they face and gives tips to these up-and-coming crowds.

Every Tuesday, Laurie and I will talk about an emerging trend in the dating world and provide tips for couples and singles involved with that trend. From cougars to interspatial couples (men who are shorter than the women), we will cover them all. In each episode, we will also be answering a viewer email. If you’d like a question answered, just send it to us. You never know, it might just get answered on the show!

As an addition, every Thursday, Laurie and I will be doing a segment called He Said, She Said. giving our own unique perspectives on the same date topic. From meeting the parents, to when it’s appropriate to say the L word, both of us will give our unique perspective. My side will, of course, be from the male wingman point of view and hers will be from a female on-line perspective. Sometimes, we’ll agree, sometimes we won’t but either way,  both men and women will be able to get some quality tips from us.

Check it out and if you have any feedback to give, it would be greatly appreciated!

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Dating Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.

Tough Love #1: Creating a First Impression

Credit: blog.vh1.com

Credit: blog.vh1.com

These posts are based on the reality TV series Tough Love. I don’t actually talk about what takes place on the show but I will talk about what women can learn from each episode’s theme.

Before I actually talk about this, I want to get something out of the way right now.

Men judge women physically. Period.

Biologically and as our primal nature, our mind receives well to our perception of a physically attractive woman. The reason why I word it that way is because every guy has a different perception of who that woman is.

To use this to your advantage, you don’t have to wear skimpy clothing, show off your cleavage, or dress out of your age range.

If you’re 50, you shouldn’t be wearing things post-grads are wearing. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t dress in a way that’s appealing and attractive. The key here is dressing in a way that is respectful.

Accessories. These are what’s going to make you stand out physically, so use that to your advantage. Men will notice and may ask about these things. If there’s a story behind what you wear, it’ll give you a chance to let him get to know the next thing.

Tip: The color red is the most attractive color, stands out easily in a crowd, and should be used as often as possible.

Personality. What you wear is a reflection of your personality. Remember that AMP Energy App that I talked about with the Wall Street Journal? The reason why I bring it up here is because each personality on that list was clearly represented (stereotypically) by what each woman was wearing. A similar thing happens here.

Present yourself as a normal, interesting woman.

The objective of a successful first impression is rather simple. Be fun and not complicated. The moment you show that you’re a Debbie Downer you’re out. To ensure that happens, an easy fix would be to SMILE! People are at their attractive prime when they are smiling, so why not show that off as much as possible?

When you have conversation, try to avoid the usual subjects (religion, politics and financial situation). There are reasons why you do this. You avoid the potential of conflict of differences; making the man uncomfortable and having him feel inadequate (not for their differences but for their lack of knowledge).

Instead, have positive energy and enthusiasm talking about whatever it is.

FOR MEN: Some women can have similar issues as men, including being able to engage a man and actually expressing interest so keep this in mind whenever you feel nervous about engaging and having conversation with a woman. This might put you at ease.

What Women Can Learn From Tough Love

Some of you can’t stand reality TV shows. Others love reveling in someone else’s drama and demise. Personally, I have a love-hate relationship with reality TV. I remember a few summers ago, I was addicted to VH1’s The Pick Up Artist, Scott Baio is 45 and Single and Rock of Love Season 1. There was something about these shows that drew me to make sure I was home to watch them every Sunday night. A year later, it finally occurred to me what that was.

I was addicted to analyzing the progress of people’s personal development.

I figured that by watching these people through the various personalities and tribulations that they went through, I could find something that I can learn to help my life and know what to do should I encounter a similar situation.

Unfortunately, those shows are purely for entertainment and have zero educational quality these days. However, there is one that has a little bit of educational value.

VH1’s Tough Love.

Over the course of several weeks, I’ll have a post talking about the theme and what you can learn from each episode. I am a little behind schedule here so stay tuned later today for a quick updates from the first three episodes.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Dating Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.

Meet the Parents


I remember growing up and watching TV how bringing a girl home was a big deal. It was especially so during holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. Actually, no, it wasn’t a big deal.

It was a HUGE deal.

This woman had to be someone that I was strongly committed to (dare I say, the one?) and wanted to not only show her to my family for their approval, but also to share a very important part of my life with her. You really don’t reach that level of a relationship until you two meet the parents. That’s what I was led to believe.

After bringing very few women (can definitely count on one hand…with a few amputated fingers) home to meet my parents over the course of a decade, I’ve realized a few things that have changed my perspective on meeting the family.

What’s the big deal? It’s your parents. No offense but it’s not like you’re a part of the First Family. Sure, this person you are bringing home is more than your friend, but you know what? If your parents are cool, they are going to treat them just the same and it won’t mean anything different. So what’s the big deal? Yes, I understand that it varies across many cultures but I am only speaking from the one I’ve been a part of where dating can be perceived these days not only as a sport, but also a disposable product.

The true difference in when you actually meet the parents is relative. If I am in a relationship for one month or for nine, it’s not going to change the effect that my family meeting my significant other will have on my relationship. If my parents hate her, well, it just means that we may have some rocky ground ahead. My parents’ support of whom I am with is important to me. Period. On the flipside, if my significant other can’t stand my loud, crazy and fun uncle and he’s my favorite uncle, the outlook of the relationship will not be good since as long as I’m with my family, my uncle will be there.

The actual meeting of the family is relative. Sure, I’d love for my girl to love my family and vice-versa. But even still, it has played no true effect on whether or not I wanted to stay with her. My family will always be there and so will my girl, if she so decides. And if feelings are strong enough, there will be a possibility of a co-existence despite the disagreement. Yes, that statement is more of an E & O belief, but one that I have employed and has worked in previous relationships (and let me be clear here: the breakdown of my previous relationships had everything to do with the actual relationship and nothing with my family and their getting along with her).

So am I telling you that it’s better to get it out of the way sooner than later? No, not really. Am I telling you to disobey your family values and beliefs? Absolutely not, not unless they don’t coincide with yours. What I’m really saying is meeting the family is not that big of a deal and as someone who values his family more than anything in life, I have NO problem in sharing what I value most with anyone else. It’s just a more intimate situation because your significant other inherently feels a state of heightened emotional connection.

I am a huge fan of this state.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Dating Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.

What's on Tap for The Professional Wingman

Hope everyone is having a good week so far! Here's what in store for this week and what's ahead as we push toward 2010!

Off the grid for Thanksgiving. As you know, family is number one to me. I'll be going to Maryland to visit my newly born niece and other family members. So content and services will be shut down after tomorrow and through Sunday. Expect an interesting post about dating and family tomorrow to close off the week.

WingmanTV. This past week's WingmanTV is the best episode I've done so far. Meet Cort Johnson. He's one of the men behind DARTBoston and the co-author of the line, "it's all about E & O." Listen to an in-depth conversation that Cort, Brenda (bartender from Vox) and I have about the origin of E & O and how it can be applied to many aspects of your live, including dating. You can see the show here.

And don't miss the next WingmanTV at the Lansdowne with special guest, Tom O'Keefe, better known as @BostonTweet! Details and RSVP information will be out soon!

Bar and Date Spot reviews done through mobile. So I was able to sync my Squarespace with my iPhone and now am able to post on the fly. What better way to do it is when I'm out at these cool places. So, any ideas and reviews I can make on cool date spots and bars in Boston, I'll put them up (with live pics as well, of course). That should be fun and more helpful for you guys.

New venture coming soon. On December 1st, you are going to see a subtle shift in how the Professional Wingman is going to operate and also see a new site! All will be revealed then but stay tuned as you get to see the continuous evolution of the Professional Wingman!

As always, keep it simple and enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday!

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Dating Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.

Review of Beacon Hill Pub

Address: 49 Charles St

Who Goes There: young neighborhood people, ages 23-30

Price: $

Best Nights to Go: TBA

Specials: drink specials to the max, including $5 drafts

Beacon Hill Pub is a great place for young people to show up. If you're here with friends, there are plenty to things to entertain you including basketball!

Mostly guys usually come because it's your typical dive and there's cheap beer but there's a decent amount of women that are here now. I can imagine more would come on busier nights.

The place is split into to "sections." Both are the same, except one room has the ball game.

Staff is friendly but it's not the best place I'd say to meet women or have a good time with friends. Not that it's terrible but there are better.

And, it's @JustinObey's birthday so be sure to give him love.

Rating: 76 C

Show Your Cards From the Get-Go

Not four months in.

This is a piggyback post from Kelli Lawless and her blog, Dating and Mating in America. When I read the headline, I was very curious. Then after reading it, I got upset. I got angry. It pumped me up so much that I can’t fall asleep on the BoltBus anymore. I might as well talk about this.

Too many guys do it.

You see a woman that you like and you want to be everything to her. You want to be everything that she likes and wants in her ideal man. You want to be the man she wants to marry and be with forever. But did you ever ask yourself,

“ARE you that man or are you POSING?”

This is a serious question to ask. There are too many men that ask me about what lines they should use on a certain type of woman and how they should dress to get with another type of woman. Fortunately, I don’t give them this kind of advice but they can definitely get it elsewhere. And men read and practice it to a tee. But beyond all of that, would you like to know what’s even worse?

It actually works.

Guys dress and act like the men women are looking for and women eat it right up (can you blame them?). Then, after a few dates or even a few months, they feel as though “they have them.” Now, they can “let up” and start being themselves.

As I type this, I feel like what I am writing doesn’t even make any sense.

Then, women are left wondering, “WTF?” and run for high water, leaving men thinking that they screwed up some other way.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Listen, you are the problem. You fucked up from the get-go. You weren’t yourself. It happened to me when I was in college. I made so much effort in being the man everyone wanted me to be, and less effort on making who I was even better. Then, when I figured I had it all, I reverted back to what I was used to. I mean, think about it. Being someone you’re not is A LOT of work. Now that I have it all, there was nothing better than going back to being me. After that moment, I started to lose everything to the point where I had to start over from square one.

Now, after doing it right and sticking to being myself, I find there is even MORE value in being YOU rather than represent this figurative ideal. To people who will still alter who they are to appease to someone else: Fuck that. If you want to be someone else, go apply to be someone’s body double for a movie. Stay true to who you are, and I promise you will persevere. Being you is enough work to give yourself but it’s the easiest because that’s the only thing you know how to do best.

Remember the goal: to get someone to love you for YOU, not who you’re not.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Dating Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman newsletter for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, The Other Twenty Percent - The Starter Guide for Instant Dating Success. One of the easiest and effective ways to see dating improvement.