Man Panel - the Dating Game Review

This past Friday, I had the honor to be a part of my first Man Panel. The topic covered transitioning from dating to a committed relationship - to some, known more as, "the Dating Game." This was an excellent panel that provided really good information that the women can sink their teeth into. It was really exciting to be a part of it and I thank Laura Warrell, coordinator and moderator of the Man Panel, for giving me the opportunity to do it. She wrote her own post about the panel on her blog. Check it out.

I'll be honest here. Being so young, in front of a crowd over 40-50 older women could have been career suicide for me, if I didn't step up. The thought of that shook me a little. But I knew there had to have been a reason why Laura wanted me up there. And there was something in me that knew that I could put out good content. It was enough to motivate me to show that night with my A+ game.

Take a look.

What do you think?

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Lifestyle Design: The Places You Go

This is the last part of a 3-part series by Sinn. He is really good at explaining things - especially lifestyle. I have never seen him at a workshop but I can just tell by the way he talks that he looks to be an exceptional teacher. When I get a chance, I'll post the other 2 parts which are VERY important. If I am not mistaken they have to do with the things you do and the people you know. But for now, enjoy this nugget.

Today I want to finish up my 3 part article on Lifestyle with an article on The Places you go.

We've already talked about Lifestyle Design and The People You Know.

Now we want to talk about the places you will be going.

You want to have a variety of places you go, where you can either meet or bring women you're interested in.

Generally you should have at least 3 different places that you can meet women.

I like to meet girls at bars, coffee shops, and at the gym.

I can also bring dates to all 3 of these places to socially proof myself with the people that work there.

This brings us to the second point of places you go. Social proof and high status treatment.

When I lived in Dallas, there were 3 different bars within 5 blocks of my apartment where I could skip lines, and get free drinks.

This happened because I went to these bars multiple times a week for a variety of different reasons. On the weekends, I would go there to pick up girls, on weekdays I would go there with girls I was seeing or on dates, Sometimes I would just go there to eat some appetizers and chat with the staff.

The point is you want to be seen a lot.

One mistake guys make when they are trying to network or get "hooked up" is they ask for names too early. You don't want to look like you're desperately trying to make friends with the bartender as that can be transparent.

Also make sure to tip well early on. You don't have to keep tipping that well but you should always leave more than 15% for bartenders.

Another thing you can do to stand out is order the same drink every time. I personally drink Vodka Diet Coke which is not particularly common. At least not for dudes ☺ Don't do anything cheesy like ask for the "usual" .but if you do this right, the bartenders should ask you if you want your drink a few weeks in.

You also want to make sure that you bring girls around these places as much as possible. As silly as it sounds word does get around bars and regulars do exist. The more people are talking about how you're always in there with different girls, the easier it will be to get special treatment and sleep with members of the bar staff...

Lastly you want to make sure that you befriend the regulars.

I used to do this all wrong. Early on in my "pick up career" I would identify other guys at the bar that were naturals and try to "out game" them. This was really immature and actually hurt my success in the venue. In bars, clubs, coffee shops, gyms, etc... There are always regulars. People you are going to see OVER and OVER again. You want to make the best possible impression with these people. The more they like you, the more they will help you in a variety of ways.

The first way regulars can help you is by providing you with a home base. When you're out alone, or with a date, you can always stop by and chat with some of the regulars. It helps you with social proof on dates, and helps get you warmed up and talkative when you are out alone.

The second way that getting to know regulars helps you is through make shift social circles. Regulars often have friends who come out every once in awhile, oftentimes these friends are attractive women from out of town looking to party that night. An introduction goes a long way in that situation.

You can reap similar benefits in coffee shops, yoga classes, and gyms as well.

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Is This What You Look For in the Opposite Sex?

In my series this week about relationships, what we want in the opposite sex and other topics, I am going to write a response post to the lovely lisaq from 20-Forty.

The topic: What Single Women Really Want in a Man.

I am going to make an itemized list of what women really want in a man, based on her post.

A man of substance
Knows who/what he is
Loves himself (in spite of/because of)
Knows who/what she is
Loves her in spite of/because of
A compliment to their own person
Is real
Has goals
Cares who she is
Honest
Faithful

And it’s NOT about:

What you have
What you drive
Where you live

I make this itemized list because I feel guys find it easier to see a list than just words mixed in together with emotion. Guys tend to just see the emotion and are not able to focus to really see what is being said. I personally LOVE the passion being projected through her post as it’s clearly obvious that this means a lot to her and many other women out there as well. As a guy, I can connect to that because it’s telling me that she’s not afraid to be vocal about what she wants and if any guy is smart, they would realize that she possesses a quality that most guys should look for in a woman.

I could go into detail about each of these, and maybe some day I will if there is enough demand but I want you to think about the next statement for a while.

What they are asking of you is exactly what you are (should be) asking of them.

I would have to find the article when I said this, maybe it was in one of the posts I put up earlier this week (here’s Monday’s and Wednesday’s), but I remember mentioning the fact that most guys act on physical attraction more often than women do when approving someone to be a potential mate. Most women will give any decent-looking guy a chance and get to know them more because to these women, what the guy has to offer is much more important to them. And what you have to offer has nothing to do with what you drive, where you live and how big your money stack is.

When it comes down to it, do you have the passion, energy, attitude, ambition, togetherness, integrity and authenticity to make someone want to be a part of your life? For the women who read my blog, I want you to ask yourself the same question. Because I will be honest. I am fortunate enough to be able to meet beautiful women every day. At this point, beauty doesn’t win any points for you. There needs to be something more for me to really want you – for me to actually want to go out of my way to court you – and yes, I did say court. As most know, my number one thing is passion.

But as women make these demands, I can only hope that they can look at this list too and say to themselves, “yup, I got these on lock.” Because we are looking for the same things as well.

Or at least I am.

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Learning About the Alpha Woman (Retro Post)

This is another post that I released right before Christmas. This actually gets more into what women may be looking for in a man/relationship and what guys may need to do to get quality women like the two here.

Feel free to leave some comments and feedback. The Man Panel countdown is down to 2. Hope to see some of you all there.

So a while back, I made a post about learning about the alpha male. There were so many good examples that I used there. Well, recently, I came across this site called AlphaWomen. It's a site helping women improve their relationships, dating lives and other aspects of their lives. I’ve been snooping around for a while and I have to say that there is a bevy of information here that I think is so important. You have so many different women on here talking about anything and everything that it would be hard to not find an aspect or topic uncovered.

I recently saw a video about two women; Freda (owner of AlphaWomen) and Katherine talk about dating, relationships and views on life. I thought it would be pretty interesting to give my personal take on what they talked about and how you can use what they are saying here to be better with attracting and understanding women.

You can see the videos here. It’s broken into four parts. If you can read and listen at the same time, then by all means, go for it. But I think it would be better if you listened to each video, then read what I talk about after.


There were many different things that should be talked about that I think could ease your pain and frustration and give you hope in meeting wonderful women.

There seems to be this thing that women who are in their 20s and 30s are all about dating multiple men and are so career-driven that they forcefully cannot commit themselves to a relationship. This is far from the truth. Women are looking for a relationship almost all of the time. I cannot and will not include college because there are too many stimuli that affect what goes on in the female mind. Shit, that statement goes for men as well.

Just like women, you too should just go with your gut. Stop over thinking everything and just act. Trust your instincts. As a human race, that was all we had and now we take that for granted. Don’t forget that your instinct will never fail you. Instinct is what has brought us to where we are today.

Now both of them bring up a good point. It may seem as though their pride is too high for them to approach guys. And maybe it is too high but notice the difference. Freda is not afraid to be alone and Katherine seems to have some issues. I personally think that everyone should have some desire to pursue his or her match. I don’t think sitting and waiting for someone to find you is the best way so when I hear quotes like, “if they want me, they’ll figure out a way to get to me,” it almost tells me that you’re being a little lazy in your pursuit. Actually, it tells me that you’re not really doing anything. I couldn’t imagine the world if everyone did that. But, if that’s her way of doing things then it’s cool. As a very attractive-looking woman, I can’t see her having problems with men approaching her.

But then again she mentions that men were different 50-plus years ago. And yes she is right but women were also different 50 years ago. We all were and we are constantly changing and it’s hard to keep up because there are so many things out there that dictate how we should be. But despite all that, there are men (although few) out there who believe in “old-school” romance. It’s possible to find them.

Katherine seems like such a sweetheart. I can tell she has such an amazing heart and is just wants to give it to the right person. It’s just a shame she hasn’t found him yet. And yes, I agree, it is ok to love. Nowadays, it’s become one of the riskier things we do in life but we are more likely to take that risk and reap the rewards more blindly than going all-in on a stock you know nothing about. Money is important, yes, but we treasure love much more and it’s so deep in our subconscious that we don’t even realize.

Now Freda brings up another good point that all men should listen to. The reason why she can’t get excited about being in a relationship is because guys are just not interesting enough – in other words, there aren’t guys out there that can stimulate her mind. Her mind, gentlemen. Do you see why I stress the importance of establishing a connection with them? You need to engage them just as much as they need to engage you. If you can have her leave every conversation feeling better or stronger than she was before she talked to you, you become something much more valuable to her and she’ll want to keep you around.

I cannot stress this enough. Don’t make women have to dumb themselves down so they think that they can talk to you. Wouldn’t you find that insulting if you knew that’s what women did? Have some pride in how awesome you are and let her know she doesn’t have to dumb herself down for you! I can understand why Freda can be so frustrated with relationships and now has this pseudo-wall up, protecting herself from lower quality guys. It seems like she hasn’t been pushed, or challenged, or “tested” enough by a guy that really cares about her becoming a better person while being with him.

Maybe, I interpreted it wrong, but regardless, it’s important to the health of any long-lasting relationship that you stimulate her mind. Physical attraction will always be there at the beginning but it certainly won’t last. When that dissipates, you better hope there is something else there that is much stronger and deeper.

You want to know what else makes you attractive, guys? Knowing what you want. Which is why I make guys determine their goals from the get-go. If you don’t know what you want, how is any woman going to feel safe or comfortable with you? Knowing what you want leaves a sense of security around your life and people notice it immediately.

Freda then asks Katherine why should she be the one chasing and convincing a guy why he should be with you. Well, I think the answer is the same reason why we chase and convince you why you should be with us. It works both ways and I think it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to “chase” a guy. We just talked about knowing what we want. When a guy “chases” a woman he is seen as inferior and weak. When a woman “chases” a man, she thinks she is seen as inferior and weak. There lies the difference. Any good man would understand the significance of a woman going after a man and if he sees her as a potential fit then great. If not, so be it. There is a big gap in the amount of approaches men and women do. But the gap between success is small and that’s because for the amount of approaches guys do and the fewer that women do, the amount of success will be pretty much equal. The success rate for women is much higher because they have a limited amount of approaches. But I’m just speaking my opinion based on observation.

In the end, knowing what you want is important. You may have high expectations or set high standards and be seen as some picky asshole. Just understand that you’ve seen that from the women you meet pretty much your entire life. Those women you thought were “bitches” to you because they were always vocal about what they wanted were just being picky and didn’t see you as a potential fit and that is perfectly acceptable. So, if it’s acceptable for them to have standards and be vocal about it, why can’t it be the same for guys?

Do what you want and be passionate about it! If you want it bad enough, you will achieve whatever goal you set. Have the courage to be vocal about what you want. And most importantly, never settle.

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Fulfilling Women's Emotional Needs (Retro Post)

Hey everyone,

It's been a while since I've posted here at Project Infinity and that is because I am working on some cool stuff in the future that I know you all will like. But in the meantime, what I wanted to do is post some things this week leading up to my panel this Friday on The Man Panel. The topic this month is, "The Dating Game: Transitioning from Dating to a Relationship."

This article was one that I typed several months ago but only posted it a few days before Christmas. Beleive it or not, I thought it would be really risky to talk about what women want on a more psychological level - especially since at the time, Project Infinity was out for only a couple of months. In the end, I am glad I took the risk and it was received very well.

I am going to re-post the article and hopefully more discussion can come out of it. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter or post comments below. Thanks!

I forget where I came across this. I just have the notes here and I wanted to talk about this because I thought this was interesting. There are people out there who have done tons of relationship research and now have recently devised a list of emotional needs guys have to fulfill in order to keep a woman attracted to you for a long time. This is supposed to be critical to maintaining a long-term relationship.

Over time, through my program coming up, we will actually get really into the inner workings of a relationship and actually help you build a stronger, longer-lasting relationship for you – because for some of you, that’s what it’s about: keeping the girl.

Here are my thoughts on what I came across.

1. Reputation. now I didn’t understand this concept at first but it actually makes sense. If she is going to be with you or even want to be with you, she needs to make sure that her reputation will not diminish at the very least. Of course, if it could help her that is plus, too. But if you have a reputation that is nothing to be proud of, chances are, unless she just does not care, she is not going to want to get involved with you, long-term.

This is the very reason why bad boys have so much appeal. Women love the bad boys and are extremely attracted to them but they rarely have long-term potential because of that very same reason. Plus, from my experiences talking to women, most bad boys actually do end up being bad boys and most long-term relationships involve a ton of different forms of abuse.

2. Emotional Range. This can also get confusing. In any truly healthy relationship, you should be allowed to go through a wide range of emotions whether good or bad. We may not all want to admit it, but whether it’s good or bad, it’s important that those emotions are struck. It inspires growth and maturity in any relationship. So yes, it is ok for your woman to cry, be happy, be sad, be upset, pissed, angry, surprised, teased, and all of the other emotions that a woman can feel. I think that in psychological sense, women feel “good” going through those emotions and would rather not be emotionally stagnant.

3. Cater to the Little Girl. Think about this way. There is a little boy in all of us that still get excited when we go to toy stores (and yes, Best Buy does count as a toy store). We will be giggling on Christmas Day when we get that cool new toy to play with. It’s quite similar with women. There are little things that get them excited, like going out to a day at the spa, generally getting pampered, receiving flowers or cute little notes in your drawer. Anything that can say, “You’re my little girl and I wanna take care of you and treat you something nice,” is something not many women will refuse – just as long as you don’t confuse it with, “You’re my child and I have to spoil you in order for you to still love daddy.” That won’t work.

4. Be Dominant. Have the courage and confidence to lead the relationship and that means in AND out of the bedroom. The last thing a woman wants to do is have to “mother” their man. There are things you learned spending up to 17+ years at home with your parents. You have to continue to use those things. You know what I am talking about.

In terms of leading a relationship, it could be more of being decisive in what you want and having the confidence to follow through. An example of this would be a first date. Know what you two are going to do. Give her an idea of what’s in store so she can prepare and dress accordingly. When you’re on the date, know what’s is going to happen next. If you don’t know, have an idea of what you want to happen next and take the necessary steps to get that to happen. Women would like to know that their man can be leader.

Leading your partner in the bedroom should be self-explanatory. Take care of business.

5. Fear of Abandonment. This is a very tricky one and some people may not like my explanation of it, but this is only my attempt at some psych logic – it’s all for discussion. When it comes to relationships, one thing that I have learned is that nothing is a sure thing. No matter how happy you think your relationship is going, it can end in a matter of moments. This realization has allowed me to never take anything for granted within a relationship. I feel the same applies for women. This will be much harder to explain.

The fear of abandonment that women feel is actually a complex topic that I will try to summarize. This feeling can show up within the first few minutes of meeting a woman. This is usually called jealousy. Having this subconscious feeling that you might lose something can kick in and it’s up to you, as a man to assure that you’re not going anywhere. Having said that, I truly believe that it is healthy to be desired by women other than the one that you’re with. And it’s healthy for her to feel that fear of abandonment. As a guy, you could walk away to something better just like she can. But the point you want to make is that no one is better than her. But balancing this level of fear is up to the man. You cannot let this fear get unstable or else problems will occur down the road and it will lower her self-esteem, which you never want to do.

6. Trust Factor. When it comes down to it, can she trust you? And this goes beyond not cheating on her. Can she rely on you so help her IF she needs you? Can you tell her the truth every time, even if you know very well that it will make her upset? Are you a good listener when it comes to her telling you about her demons? She can feel comfortable talking to you about her demons? All of these questions will help determine if she can trust you. Trust is a huge factor in a healthy long-term relationship. And I don’t care how long you have been with your partner – if you can’t trust him or her, that’s not healthy. Make sure that she can trust you.

7. Physical Protection. This is easy, right? You’d protect her when it came down to it, right? Well, I have to be sure so I’ll just ask the question. Even if she was wrong for doing what she did, would you be willing to take the hit from that 6-foot-5, 300-pound fellow who thought she was flirting with him, scared her away because she said she had a boyfriend but now realizes that you’re her boyfriend and wants get after your girl?

Think about that.

8. Handling Her Sexuality. It goes without saying that women are very sexual and should not apologize for it. Hell, it’s the reason why we notice them in the first place. But are you ok with others noticing them? Is it cool with you that women tend to naturally flirt with others unconsciously? Are you able to handle her wants and desires in the bedroom? You need to be able to truly accept the fact that women love sex and anything about it. It’s cool, guys. And I know some of you are like, “I already know this. What’s the point?” Yeah, I know you know, but some men tend to think they can handle it and when it comes to it, they can’t. Don’t be one of those men. Appreciate and embrace that fun part about women and they will love you for that.

9. Having High Quality Sperm. I’m not talking about physical features – although I don’t remember it hurting anyone to naturally look good. I’m talking about lifestyle and your social value. If you lead a lifestyle that is fun, engaging and full of passion and combine that with having very quality friends around you and in your life, you will possess some of the true traits that women want to associate themselves with.

I talk about the importance finding your passion(s), improving your lifestyle and building a social circle all the time. These are what’s going to make you attractive to most women when they initially meet you. Of course it should go without saying that it’s important to NEVER fake this – people will figure it out and it looks terrible. Take your time and develop your life before you go out there. That way, you have some actual substance to hold onto and verify to keep you congruent with who you say you are.

10. Prove You Are Not a Closet Homosexual. This seems like an unnecessary thing to say but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve talked to women and hear them tell me that they think the person they are dating, “might be gay and just not know it, yet.” I will never reveal names.

When it comes down to it, you have to be a man. Masculinity is running scarce these days to begin with so prove not only to her but also to yourself that you are still a man. Even if it resorts to caveman thinking, just do it. If you still don’t know what I mean, then check out this site called the Art of Manliness. It’ll give you tons of articles and bunch of imagery of how to be more of man. I really don’t think I need to give examples or even say anything else about this. It’s pretty self-explanatory. This kind of thing is really nerve wrecking for a woman if she’s questioning your masculinity. Don’t let it ever get to that point, because it may be a recoverable situation.

If think that these needs are pretty basic actually but men either make a big fuss over it, tend to miss a few needs or make it seem harder than it really is. Just know that in a relationship, it’s natural for this to happen and if you just tend to these basic needs, you will be well on your way to a successful long-lasting relationship.

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9 Tricks for Getting VIP Treatment at Hot Restaurants

Really quickly, I am going to post something from Tim Ferriss's blog. Awesome guy. Period.

I have tried this first hand and this works. Some of these tips also work at bars and clubs so learn, practice and repeat.

Keep it simple.

Here's the link to his article.

An evening out should be special, especially if it’s an expensive evening.

But too often it’s a disappointment. Does the following scenario sound familiar? After weeks of trying to score a reservation at that new restaurant that just got a great review, you finally get one – only to find yourself waiting until 9pm for the table you were promised at 8pm. When you’re finally seated, you find yourself waiting – for a drink, for your food, for your check, even for your coat.

It might be somewhat tolerable if you looked around and saw that everyone was treated the same, but that’s rarely the case.

There always seems to be at least one table getting the VIP treatment. It’s like a little oasis: The diners aren’t kept waiting; the waiters are particularly attentive; and the chef may even come out to say hello or send over some extra desserts at the end. Who doesn’t want to be treated like that?

I’m not fussy and I’m not high maintenance. I think those are two reasons I stumbled upon the secrets of being treated like a VIP…

For years, I was editor in chief of a publishing house and edited cookbooks by some of the world’s best chefs – so my friends always assumed that’s why I got treated so well. But the truth is – the restaurants where I was treated best never knew what I did for a living. Trust me: If you get pitched books all day, the last thing you want is to be pitched books over dinner.

Here are 9 tips for becoming a VIP who skips lines and gets tables. Test even a few and you’ll almost always get amazing treatment at the very restaurants others can barely get into.

1. Start at the bar. Try having a meal there. Chat with the bartender a bit; introduce yourself to the Maitre d’ and get her or his card. Ask if the owner is around and introduce yourself to her or him.

2. Ask the waiter to ask the chef two questions: First, What does everyone order, and Second, what does almost no one order but the chef thinks everyone should. Then order them both. Chefs want to show off their popular dishes, but often have an item on the menu they are really proud of, and really want people to try. I first did this at The Slanted Door in San Francisco. A cook actually came out to say hello because he thought it was so unusual.

3. Be one of the first customers. If you read local food-blogs, or visit sites like chow.com or zagat.com, you’ll know what’s opening and who’s opening it. If it sounds good, go. Businesses frame their first bucks and treasure their first customers.

4. If you like it, come back for two more meals that very week. I went to a great NYC restaurant called Union Pacific for lunch the week it opened. I loved it and came back for dinner that night, lunch the next day, and dinner later that week. They never forgot me. After Union Pacific became white hot, I could score a reservation any time I wanted – even if I hadn’t been there for months. Even though the restaurant is sadly gone, I’ve kept up with some of the alums – and they now work in some of the city’s best restaurants.

5. Be forgiving. Even VIPs sometimes have to wait, get spilled on, or get the wrong dish. VIPs are often simply people who were good sports when all didn’t go as planned. You don’t have to be a milquetoast – but if the restaurant knows it messed up, you can score major points by not making a big deal about it or using it as an excuse to try to score freebies.

6. Send compliments to the chef – especially when you are specific about what you like. I know it sounds dorky – but it’s almost always appreciated. If you really love the place, send a note to the chef. Very few people do this.

7. Tip 25% if you like the place and got pretty good service. At very fancy restaurants, tip the Maitre d’ too. If you can’t afford to tip properly, then you can’t afford that restaurant. Go someplace you can afford.

8. Choose the cheapest wine. Or choose a wine you know and like. Or one that intrigues you. Or just ask for help. But don’t choose the second cheapest wine, unless it’s a wine you know and like. (The cheapest is often a good, smart value; the second cheapest is sometimes a sucker’s play – a bad deal put specifically on the wine list for all the people who don’t know wine, don’t want to ask, but don’t want to look cheap by ordering the cheapest).

9. Ask to be treated like a VIP. Okay, I saved the most obvious for last. But it works. There’s a restaurant called Matsuri in New York. I went and loved it. So I called the manager, told her that I was crazy about the place, and would entertain there a lot if I could be pretty sure that I would be nicely looked after. I’ve been treated like a prince there ever since. And I do entertain there whenever I can – both for business meals and with friends. There may be new restaurants cropping up all the time, but Matsuri is still one of NYC’s best and has me for life.

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Building Your Social Network (Offline)

In light of going to SXSW tomorrow, I wanted to share with you something really good. I was watching an episode of the Mens' Room and I just kept thinking to myself, "wow, that guy REALLY reminds me of...me. Is that going to be me 5 years from now?" This guy is very cool and he talks about many things about developing your social circle and how good relationships can be the best part of your life. This is a VERY good listen.

I bring this up because going to SXSW, I will have the chance to meet many new people, through online networks as well as offline networks. Walking into a bar and talking to strangers will never be so easy. Many people who go to these kinds of events are looking to network and build relationships. Through my experience, I am going to have many posts about how to maintain these great relationships offline - where it really counts.

And yes, I am also going to talk about how this relates to dating as well. Yes, we can all have an amazing experience online, but can you imagine the kind of life you can have with those relationships offline?

The next time you hear from me, I will be in Austin, Texas.

Keep it simple.*

*My new tagline. You like?

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Man Panel: All Things Sex in Review

I was finally able to get the video up! It's a VERY long video (over an hour), but it does have really good information about sex. I will write a follow up post tomorrow about how I felt about the discussion but for now, here are some of the topics that were discussed on the panel.

What is sexy?

What is a good lover?

Response & communication during sex

Men faking orgasms

Friends with benefits

"The number"

This month's panel (which I will be on!), will cover the topic of transitioning from dating to an exclusive relationship - otherwise known as the Dating Game. For all the details on that, you can check out the Man Panel website.

There, you will find that I am featured as Man Panelist of the Month!

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Career Opportunities & Asking For What You Want

I think it’s pretty important that I get into more of what goes on in my life for many reasons.

A. To prove that I am human and that even shit happens to me.
B. How I apply all of the things that I teach in my life and show that I am still constantly learning. If I stopped learning, what good would I be to myself and other people? Sometimes, I feel people forget that. I do an enormous amount of reading to learn new things and new ways of thinking, not only to help myself but also to make my consulting more efficient and effective.

All that aside, let me update you on what’s been going on. This week, we’ll get into more of my career.

Besides being a lifestyle and dating coach, I also work in the hospitality biz. When I left college, I wanted to get a design position at a firm. When I wasn’t having success, I picked up a job being a valet. When I was in college, I would work as a valet over the summer to make some quick cash. Let me tell you, being a valet can make you some serious cash if you are working in the right place. You wonder why you see older men working there? Well it’s because it requires the least amount of work and gets you the most money, with little skill. I personally used to race cars a little and I love working on cars so I always had an interest in cars, which appealed to me. The tips were a huge bonus.



I was working at a luxury hotel for a few months when I realized that I wanted to get more involved in the hotel biz and learn more about management. I requested a promotion and my company sent me over to a high-volume hotel as a cashier. It was fun and the computer work was easy. It gave me a chance to handle finances a little and learn about being a figure of authority. I worked there for many months and I figured it was time to move up again. I talked to my bosses and they tried to find me a spot. It took some time. Actually a lot more time than I was originally promised. In fact, I was getting impatient because due the decline of the economy, my hours were cut and I went from working 40 hours to as little as 10 hours a week. Not good for the paycheck.

I decided to start applying for jobs again in the video game industry (because my goal is to become an executive producer for a great video game publishing company – maybe my own). I was even open to relocating, applying to jobs in California, Florida and Texas. After a while, I began to get frustrated with what was going on. In fact, there was a point where I was going to quit because I wasn’t happy. For me, when I am not happy, I like to get out of the situation and figure out my next move. When it came to my career, this was a little different. I didn’t want to just walk in the office and quit. One of the things that I have changed about myself is not being afraid to express my feeling and ask for what I want.

So at the last minute, I decided to express my unhappiness and see what kind of resolution and bosses and I can come to. We had a great discussion and they told me that they might have something in the works for me that they thought it would be a perfect fit for my personality and me. I chose to sit and wait to hear what they had for me.

I knew that with every valley, there would be a peak. I wasn’t sure when this peak would show but I knew it would. The important thing was for me to keep my eyes open for it.

And then last week, it happened.

I got my promotion and now I am now the newest member of the management team at a new hotel. I am SO excited and I am starting tomorrow (when you read this, I will have started already). Originally, I was supposed to start when I get back from SXSW but they wanted me in ASAP so I accepted. The hotel’s environment is awesome, the staff is great, and I got to meet the general manager over the weekend and he is a cool guy. I am VERY excited.

I am glad that I stuck in there and waited for my chance. I was waiting for the opening to take action and it came. Now, we will see where this goes. I love socializing and helping people and right now, being in a hotel is the perfect fit for me – especially this hotel.

I’d like to know how are your career pursuits going? Are you happy with your job? If not, what do you think is holding you back from getting where you need to be?