This is another post that I released right before Christmas. This actually gets more into what women may be looking for in a man/relationship and what guys may need to do to get quality women like the two here.
Feel free to leave some comments and feedback. The Man Panel countdown is down to 2. Hope to see some of you all there.
So a while back, I made a post about learning about the alpha male. There were so many good examples that I used there. Well, recently, I came across this site called AlphaWomen. It's a site helping women improve their relationships, dating lives and other aspects of their lives. I’ve been snooping around for a while and I have to say that there is a bevy of information here that I think is so important. You have so many different women on here talking about anything and everything that it would be hard to not find an aspect or topic uncovered.
I recently saw a video about two women; Freda (owner of AlphaWomen) and Katherine talk about dating, relationships and views on life. I thought it would be pretty interesting to give my personal take on what they talked about and how you can use what they are saying here to be better with attracting and understanding women.
You can see the videos here. It’s broken into four parts. If you can read and listen at the same time, then by all means, go for it. But I think it would be better if you listened to each video, then read what I talk about after.
There were many different things that should be talked about that I think could ease your pain and frustration and give you hope in meeting wonderful women.
There seems to be this thing that women who are in their 20s and 30s are all about dating multiple men and are so career-driven that they forcefully cannot commit themselves to a relationship. This is far from the truth. Women are looking for a relationship almost all of the time. I cannot and will not include college because there are too many stimuli that affect what goes on in the female mind. Shit, that statement goes for men as well.
Just like women, you too should just go with your gut. Stop over thinking everything and just act. Trust your instincts. As a human race, that was all we had and now we take that for granted. Don’t forget that your instinct will never fail you. Instinct is what has brought us to where we are today.
Now both of them bring up a good point. It may seem as though their pride is too high for them to approach guys. And maybe it is too high but notice the difference. Freda is not afraid to be alone and Katherine seems to have some issues. I personally think that everyone should have some desire to pursue his or her match. I don’t think sitting and waiting for someone to find you is the best way so when I hear quotes like, “if they want me, they’ll figure out a way to get to me,” it almost tells me that you’re being a little lazy in your pursuit. Actually, it tells me that you’re not really doing anything. I couldn’t imagine the world if everyone did that. But, if that’s her way of doing things then it’s cool. As a very attractive-looking woman, I can’t see her having problems with men approaching her.
But then again she mentions that men were different 50-plus years ago. And yes she is right but women were also different 50 years ago. We all were and we are constantly changing and it’s hard to keep up because there are so many things out there that dictate how we should be. But despite all that, there are men (although few) out there who believe in “old-school” romance. It’s possible to find them.
Katherine seems like such a sweetheart. I can tell she has such an amazing heart and is just wants to give it to the right person. It’s just a shame she hasn’t found him yet. And yes, I agree, it is ok to love. Nowadays, it’s become one of the riskier things we do in life but we are more likely to take that risk and reap the rewards more blindly than going all-in on a stock you know nothing about. Money is important, yes, but we treasure love much more and it’s so deep in our subconscious that we don’t even realize.
Now Freda brings up another good point that all men should listen to. The reason why she can’t get excited about being in a relationship is because guys are just not interesting enough – in other words, there aren’t guys out there that can stimulate her mind. Her mind, gentlemen. Do you see why I stress the importance of establishing a connection with them? You need to engage them just as much as they need to engage you. If you can have her leave every conversation feeling better or stronger than she was before she talked to you, you become something much more valuable to her and she’ll want to keep you around.
I cannot stress this enough. Don’t make women have to dumb themselves down so they think that they can talk to you. Wouldn’t you find that insulting if you knew that’s what women did? Have some pride in how awesome you are and let her know she doesn’t have to dumb herself down for you! I can understand why Freda can be so frustrated with relationships and now has this pseudo-wall up, protecting herself from lower quality guys. It seems like she hasn’t been pushed, or challenged, or “tested” enough by a guy that really cares about her becoming a better person while being with him.
Maybe, I interpreted it wrong, but regardless, it’s important to the health of any long-lasting relationship that you stimulate her mind. Physical attraction will always be there at the beginning but it certainly won’t last. When that dissipates, you better hope there is something else there that is much stronger and deeper.
You want to know what else makes you attractive, guys? Knowing what you want. Which is why I make guys determine their goals from the get-go. If you don’t know what you want, how is any woman going to feel safe or comfortable with you? Knowing what you want leaves a sense of security around your life and people notice it immediately.
Freda then asks Katherine why should she be the one chasing and convincing a guy why he should be with you. Well, I think the answer is the same reason why we chase and convince you why you should be with us. It works both ways and I think it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to “chase” a guy. We just talked about knowing what we want. When a guy “chases” a woman he is seen as inferior and weak. When a woman “chases” a man, she thinks she is seen as inferior and weak. There lies the difference. Any good man would understand the significance of a woman going after a man and if he sees her as a potential fit then great. If not, so be it. There is a big gap in the amount of approaches men and women do. But the gap between success is small and that’s because for the amount of approaches guys do and the fewer that women do, the amount of success will be pretty much equal. The success rate for women is much higher because they have a limited amount of approaches. But I’m just speaking my opinion based on observation.
In the end, knowing what you want is important. You may have high expectations or set high standards and be seen as some picky asshole. Just understand that you’ve seen that from the women you meet pretty much your entire life. Those women you thought were “bitches” to you because they were always vocal about what they wanted were just being picky and didn’t see you as a potential fit and that is perfectly acceptable. So, if it’s acceptable for them to have standards and be vocal about it, why can’t it be the same for guys?
Do what you want and be passionate about it! If you want it bad enough, you will achieve whatever goal you set. Have the courage to be vocal about what you want. And most importantly, never settle.
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