On Sunday, my cousin got married. It’s been a VERY long time since I’ve been to a wedding. In fact, it may have been over 5 years since I have been to one. 5 years ago, my thinking of everything was VERY different. As I have been going through some changing times dealing with family, personal and business issues – basically life – every experience that I have had recently has just put everything in perspective. Forgive me for being a little mellow with this series of posts. I hope that re-opening my heart and myself a little will provide some gems to take with you after reading this.
This series is called Growing Up because it doesn’t matter how old you are, you will always have some growing up to do. The only time you’re not growing is when you’re not breathing.
I almost didn’t go to the wedding, especially when my all-time wingman, my father, told me that he wasn’t going to go. But considering everything, I figured at best I could go there, see some family, see my cousin, his newlywed and spend the rest of the night drinking with my cousin, Kam. Why not?
The wedding took place outside. It was short and it was really sweet. I wish I had a pen and paper to write down the words that were said during the ceremony. They were profound in every way. Seeing my cousin fidget and his hands shaking as he’s holding the woman he’s going to marry was fun to watch. And then, I saw the look on his face. He was smiling the whole time. Granted, he smiles even if he’s scared shitless, you can tell that there was no other place he wanted to be. Right there, in front of her, giving her the ultimate vow of friendship, honesty and love. And it made me think of many things. It’s a lot so don’t be surprised if you see multiple posts come out of this.
Some of you ask me what my experience in relationships is. As some of you know, I have never been married – but most of you don’t know that I have been pretty damn close to proposing to a girl. With the chance to look back, I’m glad it didn’t happen since I had NO clue what I was doing but with all of my clients, I hope to be able to help them with most aspects of the relationship timeline leading up to the proposal. I am not a marriage expert. I am a dating coach, because quite frankly, that’s all I know, and I’m okay with that. A year or two from now, I would love to be able to tell people that I am responsible for many of my client’s future spouses.
One thing that I wanted to point out is that the fulfilling feeling of starting a new chapter of the rest of your life together with someone you unconditionally love will be worth the wait. Seeing the looks on both of their faces told me everything that I wanted to know. Sometimes, when you talk to someone about how they feel about their significant other, there is a chance you can sense doubt, uncertainty or anything else that’s less than total happiness. At the last wedding I remember going to years ago, I saw fear, I saw doubt, I saw things that didn’t represent that total happiness. Consequently, that marriage didn’t last long (not that I am claiming I saw it coming). I didn’t see that with my cousin and his wife. I saw two best friends that fed off of each other, made each other happy and KNEW that they were meant for each other. That’s something I’m willing to wait for. And you should to, depending on where you are in your life. Even if time is ticking, I personally don’t think people should be in a rush. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. But whatever happens, don’t ever think that you are meant to be alone. No need to rush or force the issue. It’s something that we all deserve and will get if we truly believe it.
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