9 Tricks for Getting VIP Treatment at Hot Restaurants

Really quickly, I am going to post something from Tim Ferriss's blog. Awesome guy. Period.

I have tried this first hand and this works. Some of these tips also work at bars and clubs so learn, practice and repeat.

Keep it simple.

Here's the link to his article.

An evening out should be special, especially if it’s an expensive evening.

But too often it’s a disappointment. Does the following scenario sound familiar? After weeks of trying to score a reservation at that new restaurant that just got a great review, you finally get one – only to find yourself waiting until 9pm for the table you were promised at 8pm. When you’re finally seated, you find yourself waiting – for a drink, for your food, for your check, even for your coat.

It might be somewhat tolerable if you looked around and saw that everyone was treated the same, but that’s rarely the case.

There always seems to be at least one table getting the VIP treatment. It’s like a little oasis: The diners aren’t kept waiting; the waiters are particularly attentive; and the chef may even come out to say hello or send over some extra desserts at the end. Who doesn’t want to be treated like that?

I’m not fussy and I’m not high maintenance. I think those are two reasons I stumbled upon the secrets of being treated like a VIP…

For years, I was editor in chief of a publishing house and edited cookbooks by some of the world’s best chefs – so my friends always assumed that’s why I got treated so well. But the truth is – the restaurants where I was treated best never knew what I did for a living. Trust me: If you get pitched books all day, the last thing you want is to be pitched books over dinner.

Here are 9 tips for becoming a VIP who skips lines and gets tables. Test even a few and you’ll almost always get amazing treatment at the very restaurants others can barely get into.

1. Start at the bar. Try having a meal there. Chat with the bartender a bit; introduce yourself to the Maitre d’ and get her or his card. Ask if the owner is around and introduce yourself to her or him.

2. Ask the waiter to ask the chef two questions: First, What does everyone order, and Second, what does almost no one order but the chef thinks everyone should. Then order them both. Chefs want to show off their popular dishes, but often have an item on the menu they are really proud of, and really want people to try. I first did this at The Slanted Door in San Francisco. A cook actually came out to say hello because he thought it was so unusual.

3. Be one of the first customers. If you read local food-blogs, or visit sites like chow.com or zagat.com, you’ll know what’s opening and who’s opening it. If it sounds good, go. Businesses frame their first bucks and treasure their first customers.

4. If you like it, come back for two more meals that very week. I went to a great NYC restaurant called Union Pacific for lunch the week it opened. I loved it and came back for dinner that night, lunch the next day, and dinner later that week. They never forgot me. After Union Pacific became white hot, I could score a reservation any time I wanted – even if I hadn’t been there for months. Even though the restaurant is sadly gone, I’ve kept up with some of the alums – and they now work in some of the city’s best restaurants.

5. Be forgiving. Even VIPs sometimes have to wait, get spilled on, or get the wrong dish. VIPs are often simply people who were good sports when all didn’t go as planned. You don’t have to be a milquetoast – but if the restaurant knows it messed up, you can score major points by not making a big deal about it or using it as an excuse to try to score freebies.

6. Send compliments to the chef – especially when you are specific about what you like. I know it sounds dorky – but it’s almost always appreciated. If you really love the place, send a note to the chef. Very few people do this.

7. Tip 25% if you like the place and got pretty good service. At very fancy restaurants, tip the Maitre d’ too. If you can’t afford to tip properly, then you can’t afford that restaurant. Go someplace you can afford.

8. Choose the cheapest wine. Or choose a wine you know and like. Or one that intrigues you. Or just ask for help. But don’t choose the second cheapest wine, unless it’s a wine you know and like. (The cheapest is often a good, smart value; the second cheapest is sometimes a sucker’s play – a bad deal put specifically on the wine list for all the people who don’t know wine, don’t want to ask, but don’t want to look cheap by ordering the cheapest).

9. Ask to be treated like a VIP. Okay, I saved the most obvious for last. But it works. There’s a restaurant called Matsuri in New York. I went and loved it. So I called the manager, told her that I was crazy about the place, and would entertain there a lot if I could be pretty sure that I would be nicely looked after. I’ve been treated like a prince there ever since. And I do entertain there whenever I can – both for business meals and with friends. There may be new restaurants cropping up all the time, but Matsuri is still one of NYC’s best and has me for life.

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Building Your Social Network (Offline)

In light of going to SXSW tomorrow, I wanted to share with you something really good. I was watching an episode of the Mens' Room and I just kept thinking to myself, "wow, that guy REALLY reminds me of...me. Is that going to be me 5 years from now?" This guy is very cool and he talks about many things about developing your social circle and how good relationships can be the best part of your life. This is a VERY good listen.

I bring this up because going to SXSW, I will have the chance to meet many new people, through online networks as well as offline networks. Walking into a bar and talking to strangers will never be so easy. Many people who go to these kinds of events are looking to network and build relationships. Through my experience, I am going to have many posts about how to maintain these great relationships offline - where it really counts.

And yes, I am also going to talk about how this relates to dating as well. Yes, we can all have an amazing experience online, but can you imagine the kind of life you can have with those relationships offline?

The next time you hear from me, I will be in Austin, Texas.

Keep it simple.*

*My new tagline. You like?

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Man Panel: All Things Sex in Review

I was finally able to get the video up! It's a VERY long video (over an hour), but it does have really good information about sex. I will write a follow up post tomorrow about how I felt about the discussion but for now, here are some of the topics that were discussed on the panel.

What is sexy?

What is a good lover?

Response & communication during sex

Men faking orgasms

Friends with benefits

"The number"

This month's panel (which I will be on!), will cover the topic of transitioning from dating to an exclusive relationship - otherwise known as the Dating Game. For all the details on that, you can check out the Man Panel website.

There, you will find that I am featured as Man Panelist of the Month!

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Career Opportunities & Asking For What You Want

I think it’s pretty important that I get into more of what goes on in my life for many reasons.

A. To prove that I am human and that even shit happens to me.
B. How I apply all of the things that I teach in my life and show that I am still constantly learning. If I stopped learning, what good would I be to myself and other people? Sometimes, I feel people forget that. I do an enormous amount of reading to learn new things and new ways of thinking, not only to help myself but also to make my consulting more efficient and effective.

All that aside, let me update you on what’s been going on. This week, we’ll get into more of my career.

Besides being a lifestyle and dating coach, I also work in the hospitality biz. When I left college, I wanted to get a design position at a firm. When I wasn’t having success, I picked up a job being a valet. When I was in college, I would work as a valet over the summer to make some quick cash. Let me tell you, being a valet can make you some serious cash if you are working in the right place. You wonder why you see older men working there? Well it’s because it requires the least amount of work and gets you the most money, with little skill. I personally used to race cars a little and I love working on cars so I always had an interest in cars, which appealed to me. The tips were a huge bonus.



I was working at a luxury hotel for a few months when I realized that I wanted to get more involved in the hotel biz and learn more about management. I requested a promotion and my company sent me over to a high-volume hotel as a cashier. It was fun and the computer work was easy. It gave me a chance to handle finances a little and learn about being a figure of authority. I worked there for many months and I figured it was time to move up again. I talked to my bosses and they tried to find me a spot. It took some time. Actually a lot more time than I was originally promised. In fact, I was getting impatient because due the decline of the economy, my hours were cut and I went from working 40 hours to as little as 10 hours a week. Not good for the paycheck.

I decided to start applying for jobs again in the video game industry (because my goal is to become an executive producer for a great video game publishing company – maybe my own). I was even open to relocating, applying to jobs in California, Florida and Texas. After a while, I began to get frustrated with what was going on. In fact, there was a point where I was going to quit because I wasn’t happy. For me, when I am not happy, I like to get out of the situation and figure out my next move. When it came to my career, this was a little different. I didn’t want to just walk in the office and quit. One of the things that I have changed about myself is not being afraid to express my feeling and ask for what I want.

So at the last minute, I decided to express my unhappiness and see what kind of resolution and bosses and I can come to. We had a great discussion and they told me that they might have something in the works for me that they thought it would be a perfect fit for my personality and me. I chose to sit and wait to hear what they had for me.

I knew that with every valley, there would be a peak. I wasn’t sure when this peak would show but I knew it would. The important thing was for me to keep my eyes open for it.

And then last week, it happened.

I got my promotion and now I am now the newest member of the management team at a new hotel. I am SO excited and I am starting tomorrow (when you read this, I will have started already). Originally, I was supposed to start when I get back from SXSW but they wanted me in ASAP so I accepted. The hotel’s environment is awesome, the staff is great, and I got to meet the general manager over the weekend and he is a cool guy. I am VERY excited.

I am glad that I stuck in there and waited for my chance. I was waiting for the opening to take action and it came. Now, we will see where this goes. I love socializing and helping people and right now, being in a hotel is the perfect fit for me – especially this hotel.

I’d like to know how are your career pursuits going? Are you happy with your job? If not, what do you think is holding you back from getting where you need to be?

Introducing the Energy Stimulus Package

You need to just give as much as you can if you want to make the life around you better. It's as simple as that. When it comes down to it, those that live quality lives are the ones that go out so much value - and not necessarily expecting equal value in return.

When you give, people will want to give back to you. In other words, you begin to create an attractive lifestyle.

This can apply to business, social media, relationships, networking and just plain old life.

Are you going to participate in the Energy Stimulus Package?

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Great Articles From Around the Dating Web

Here are some links and articles that I came across throughout the week.

AskMenWays to Screw Up a First Kiss – At the end of a date, there is such pressure when it comes to ending the date with a kiss. Although most women do determine whether or not they will sleep with a guy based on the kiss, it’s really not a big deal. But you can certainly screw things for yourself if you’re not being careful. Follow these little tidbits and you’ll be sure to get another kiss.

KinowearHow to Captivate an AudienceJae just posted a great article about the different types of communication and how to grab the attention of anyone you talk to.

While we’re at it, he uses a great example – Dane Cook. His video didn’t work so I hit up YouTube and watched a bunch of his material. Let me tell you, the guy is a natural at keep an audience at the edge of their seats, begging for more. Whether it comes to public speaking, story telling, or creating attraction, you can learn a lot from watching Mr. Cook do his thing.

AskMenChitchat to Avoid – Guys mess this up all the time. All the time. They finally get to have some “get to know you” conversation and then they talk about things that they probably shouldn’t be telling someone or talking about within 10 minutes of meeting someone. This article talks about that. Pay attention and stick to it.

Powerful ConnectionsBuilding Relationships (Long-Term Relationships) – This article talks about why relationship building is hard – for anyone. He gives tips on how to keep relationships interesting and how it’s never wise to put all of your eggs in one basket, at any time.

ThoughtmagnetTen Fitness Tips That Will REALLY Change You – This article talks about discipline and pushing yourself. It also talks about 10 ways to become more active and get in better shape. One of the main things that I want to highlight is EATING HEALTHIER.

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News & Events Around the Dating World

Here are some things going on that I highly recommend taking a look at or even going to.

AlphaWomen
– You have heard me talk about this site many times and I think it’s a great site for people to check out. Man are not allowed to join but can certainly learn a lot from the powerful content that they produce. This month, they are jam packed with guests on their talk show. Their upcoming schedule has a guest on every other day so be sure to check them out. Some topics include stopping negative thoughts, sexuality, conflict resolution, jump starting your career and much more. Believe me, don’t be fooled. You want to learn more about yourself AND women? Then you should take a look.

Man Panel
– Transitioning from Dating to a Relationship – Boston March 27 – Laura Warrell is the organizer behind the Man Panel. It’s been highly regarded as the event women MUST go to. Having started only some months ago, it was quickly gained momentum and is one of the top events to go to at the end of the month. This month’s topic covers everything revolving going from dating to a relationship. I actually will be one of the panelists, so it’s a VERY exciting time for me. In fact, I have been featured on her site as Panelist of the Month! For more information, you can contact me on Twitter or go to the Man Panel site for more details.

The Complete Toolbox Seminar – Las Vegas March 20-22 – I really can’t say enough about this conference. If I wasn’t going to SXSW, then this is where I would be. Pretty much everyone who has broken ground in the seduction and pickup industry will be there and you will get total access to these guys. For the complete breakdown of the seminar, you can check out the Toolbox Seminar site.

Practical Pickup Workshop – San Francisco March 27-28 – If you are in the San Francisco area, there are only 3 spots left in this great bootcamp. Led my Entropy and Doc Holliday, these guys are good people and know how to teach men things other than picking up women. In a weekend, you will learn a great deal from these guys. For more information about what the bootcamp covers you can check out Practical Pickup.

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Back to Square One

We are starting it ALL over again. This time, it's is for real. We are doing it live and we are going ALL out. This podcast will cover everything about dating, love, relationships, attraction, confusion, anxiety and SO much more.

And I'd like to name this podcast something cool. This where you come in. Submit your answers by sending me an email and the best one will get a VERY special prize!

Here is what was covered on this show:

Going to SXSW! Should be ridiculous.

Scot McKay from Edumakaytion talked about why monogamy isn't an option for the seduction community. And I agree. The game has changed.

Different forum posts vary from using women to fill a void to how to talk to a shy person.

For women, I talk about it is important to make a guy feel useful and not used.

A little rusty and have to work out the kinks but in due time, this will be THE podcast to check out for anything.

If you'd like a question answered or would like me to talk about a specific topic, email me.

Follow me on Twitter.

That is all.

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Handling Dating "Red Flags"

When you are at the stage where you are starting to figure out what you want in a woman, when you meet potentials, your mind tends to automatically detect red flags that come up in interaction. Some of these flags come from lessons you’ve learned from previous relationships. Let’s just say that you just don’t want to repeat those mistakes.

That you already know.

But every once in a while, you’ll come across an interesting and attractive woman. She’s stunningly gorgeous and she actually has something resembling a personality. You two vibe pretty well and you can tell she’s interested. But every so often in conversation, you notice your spider-sense tingling about something. Something isn’t right. But you aren’t exactly sure what it is. Now you’re trying to figure out why these red flags coming up.

And then it hits you. Those red flags aren’t glitches. We’re not computers. Something is telling you that this might not be a good idea. These signs are telling you, “This is NOT what you want in a woman. Put down the drink and slowly walk away.” But the more you talk to her, the more you become invested. You begin to see more things about her that you like and you start to ignore those other things that you don’t like because you are interested. Plus, with her finding more about you, you notice she is totally feeling you. So you proceed like those flags aren’t even there.

There is a reason why those flags are up, you know. It’s one thing to notice something small that you don’t like but are willing to deal with. It’s another to see something you absolutely KNOW will be a detriment to your sanity and thus hurt the relationship in the long run. You’ve seen it in the past – probably many times before. What makes you think this time will be different?

I was almost victim to this a few weeks ago, but I was able to figure things out in time. I’ll share details with specifics next week as a follow-up.

If you see yourself falling into the same pattern again ask yourself a few questions – you know, to refresh yourself.

What’s worth pursuing here? Small fling? One-night stand? Long-term relationship?

What about her is making me justify ignoring these flags?

To what extent can I disregard these flags? Or…

What am I going to do to make sure these flags aren’t going to be a problem down the road?


Have these ideas set in your mind and it will direct you in the way you want to go with your interaction. It happens to all of us. I sometimes get caught up in talking to someone I’m interested in and will feel the emotions from these flags and find myself ignoring them and justifying my decisions.*

*these things happen so fast, you may not even notice. That’s why it is always important to slow things down in order for you to have better control of yourself and the situation.


How many of you ignore those red flags? And do you justify or make excuses for those red flags?

Have you ever battled through and extracted from a situation because you ultimately, “knew better?”

What are your methods for preventing yourself from repeating mistakes – as tempting as it may be to give in sometimes?

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