Valentine's Day = Best Day of the Year for Singles

This post is by Eathan from I Date White. He is a single, hard working and dedicated father of 2 sons. Living in Dallas for over 15 years, as a black man, he dates white women about 98% of the time. He talks about not only about interracial dating but interracial relationships, parenting challenges and other topics as well. He's a great guy to get to know and has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to dating outside the race.

As his first post, I welcome him to Project Infinity.


As many of you know Valentine’s Day is arriving soon. It’s publicized as the holiday for couples. It’s the holiday for lovers. I can’t agree more. It’s one of the best holidays to go out and meet new women. I know that might surprise some of you, but it’s true.

There population of single and divorced people is growing every year. I’ve never thought of Valentine’s Day as a holiday for couples. Valentine’s Day is the new singles holiday. I’ve noticed over the last few years more and more bars and clubs are organizing events for the dateless singles. It’s the most popular hook up night of the year. Last year it was an hour wait to get into a local club on Valentine’s Day. When I arrived, it felt like New Year’s Eve. The dance floor was packed. The VIP was hot. The party was nonstop until last call.

Since Valentine’s Day is on a weekend this year, you have plenty of time to prepare. Make sure you are wearing one of your favorite colognes on. Women love a good smelling man. The number one thing women notice about men besides their appearance is their fragrance. I’ve always referred to it as Liquid Sex. Don’t forget to carry some gum or mints. (No explanation needed) Always plan for the best and carry condoms.

Success comes to those who plan for it.

One of the other things to remember is choosing the right club or bar. I normally go to bars that I know will have music and dancing. As long as there is dancing there will be some type of flirting and playful interaction. Most women will be drinking and dancing. This is a perfect combination to talk, flirt, and make your move. If there is no guy standing there, they are single women.

The main thing to remember when going out on Valentine’s Day is that small things will go along ways. For example, once I find the woman that I’m interested in; I will buy her a drink and ask if she wants to be my Valentine. This might sound cheesy, but if you are having a good time she will laugh and say yes. If she says no, don’t worry about it. Move on to the next one that says yes.

Valentine’s Day should be on the top of your list to meet hot women. Make sure you’re ready for the fireworks. Women don’t want to admit it, they hate being alone for this holiday. So go out, have fun, and the hot women will follow.

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A Few Sites I'd like to Share

I read upwards of a 100 articles a day online and every so often there are some sites that I love reading, no matter what the content is. I feel that no matter what is up there, there is a chance to learn and better myself. Sometimes, it's at the expense of others' experiences but you know what? That's a part of learning and I appreciate the many people who are courageous enough to share those experiences.

Having said that, I wanted to introduce 3 sites that I am on regularly and I think are worth checking out. I also have added them to my "Great Links" section as a way of welcoming them into my personal family of great websites.

The first is Pick-up Evolution. This site has been killing it since the beginning of 2009 and it's led by Legend and Edge. These are the real deal in wanting to better themselves, period. Whether it comes to dating, social lives and everything else, they have the right mentality. My props to them and you guys should check them out! I'm not sure if they would consider themselves pick-up artists, but regardless, the content the put up is quality. You can follow Edge on Twitter here.

The second is one is Sex, Lies and Dating. It is run by the one and only SINgleGIRL on Twitter. Her blog talks about what it's like to be an older woman dating in New York City. She has a lot of guts putting her dating life out there uncensored and I really admire her for that. The great thing about it is, even though she doesn't put out direct adivce or anything of the sort, if any guy has sense, he will check this site out and begin to learn some of the inner thoughts of a woman who has amazing social prowess and has been in the dating scene for many years. She can teach you a lot about what guys should and shouldn't do when it comes to dating - especially when it comes to online dating. She might be one woman's perspective but she has some great stuff and you should check her out as well.

The third one is Awakening From the Dream. The woman who runs this blog is Erika. There is something about her that keeps me intrigued and I love her for that. Any woman that can keep my interest is someone special. She talks about seduction and a lot of "outside the box" thinking when it comes to dating and making a great emotional connection with someone. She, too, is a fan of the Matrix so she's won my heart by default. Her site is a great change of pace and allows my mind to break free from the norm. Definitely check her out!

So as I come across more awesome sites, I will briefly talk about them and hope you all check them out!

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What to Get Me for Valentine’s Day?

With all of this nonsense about V-Day, it actually upsets me a little that we’ve been bought into this thinking that we have to get someone something for this day. We already have Christmas, our birthdays, anniversaries and various other days to use as excuses to get something. Why all the pressure on a day that can be seen as just ridiculous? I’d rather look for a gift on a much less recognized holiday, such as Grandparent’s Day than have to feel pressured to do something two Saturdays from now.

With that out of the way, some of you are still going to go ahead and get something anyway. I’ve been asked many times about what to get a guy for V-Day. I almost feel flattered that people think about us guys on this day when the public perception would be that such a day is used to pamper the women. We deserve some fine treatment too and I refuse to apologize for that!

So, here are some ideas to get the brain juices flowing and maybe you can figure which idea is the go-to.*

*Here’s another disclaimer. We’re very easy to please.

1. The obvious: Sexy lingerie and sex. Pretty straightforward and it’ll please any man. I’ve received some feedback already saying that sex may not be possible due to “womanly” issues and so don’t worry, there are other good ones.

2. The caregiver: Food and beer. Even if you can’t cook, find a way to recreate his favorite meal and get some beer for him, or whatever he likes to drink. It’ll be a nice dinner you two can have and he’ll be happily full.

3. The listener: Get him a video game. If he likes video games, and you know what he likes, get him something he may have talked about. He’d be blown away that you remembered something that he would just assume you ignored – unless you’re a gamer (which is pretty sexy, in my opinion). Other cool gifts would be tickets a concert for a sporting event.

4. The potentially sinful: Take him to a casino. For those who can, this is a pretty cool time regardless what you do. If you want to make it a special getaway, get a hotel room there and spend the night/weekend there. The casino can carry many forbidden pleasures for the two of you. See where it takes you two.

5. The win-win: Take the two of you out for a couples massage. There’s no reason why his gift can’t be yours either. And no guy will turn down a good rub down, especially during this time of year when things can be VERY stressful (in reality, he shouldn’t because there aren’t many things better than a massage). There are plenty of places that do couples massages with hot tubs, saunas and whole bit. Take advantage and at the end of the day, you two will just want to do nothing but relax. You might even forget that it was Valentine’s Day.

6. The What? “Get out of jail free” card. This was brought up by another person. Want to relieve the pressure of V-Day? Let him know that he’s safe – for now. One of two things will happen. He’ll either not do anything, like you allowed, or he’ll surprise you and do something anyway. If the latter happens, I say that card could be used for another time.

Those are just a few. I’d love to hear what other guys think. I’d also love to hear what women are planning to get their guys, if anything at all. One woman told me, “my boyfriend hates Valentine’s Day. Fortunately, so do I.”

My response: “Well that’s just too easy.”

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Plus, if you are looking for more tips on Valentine's Day, look into coming to this special session in Boston on February 11th.

Groundhog Day

Isn't Groundhog Day coming up? Anyway, Groundhog Day is a day where the same thing happens. Groundhog comes up, doesn't see a shadow, spring comes early. It's the same routine everyday. Remember the movie, "Groundhog Day," where he had to repeat the same day over and over again until he got it right and everything worked out? Well, it is true that practice makes perfect. Why can't it true of dating? Why can't it be true of specific dates?

Now, for people that know me, you know that I don't promote nonsense coming from pick-up artists. You know promote quality things from quality people. Doc Holliday, a friend of mine has created a book that helps guys figure out the guesswork in creating a fun date that can still be unique regardless of the repetition.*

*Let me put my dsclaimer here and say that if a guy were to try to do the same things on a date 50 times in a row (going to the same location, trying do the same things, etc.) with 50 different women, the interaction and results will still be unique. Which is why I always promote having my guys go out there and approach women. Every interaction will be different because you are not talking to the same girl (at the same time, for that matter). Plus, you don't have to complicate things if you don't need to.

The great thing I like about Doc is that he doesn't give out formulas or methods. All of what he gives are guidelines, because he's a believer in letting the individual actually coming up with their own flare, which is something I think is important. If you're just copying someone else, you're not doing what you would do, you're doing what someone else would. That, my friend = unoriginality.

He provides good tips on how to make any first date a successful one depending on what your goals are. With practice, you can definitely guarantee yourself a second date with these tips - and more, if you so choose.

It's only a 10-page e-book and so if I were to give you details, I'd pretty much be telling you what's in the book. I'd rather have you guys check it out for yourself.

Oh, yeah, I completely forgot an important part of this book. It's free.

Go here to check out the free book.

Doc is a part of Practical Pickup, which is Boston-based company that helps guys specifically with women. He partners with Mark, who as you know, I wrote a kick-ass review of his book, the Dating Solution.

These two also do very good 3-day bootcamps all over the country. I have personally seen the two of these guys speak and they are awesome speakers. It just so happens that I am doing this review at the right time because Mark and Doc are holding a bootcamp right here in Boston, February 6-8. If you want to sign up now, go ahead! Sign up now! These guys are great. And I'm not saying this because I know them.

So check out the book, let me know what you think and if you want a chance to see these guys, let me know and I can set you up with these guys. There's a lot you can learn from these two.

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Can This Be Possible?

Yesterday, I wrote an article declaring 2009 the Year of the Gentleman. A very far-fetched declaration but one I strongly believe in. If it is possible for me and a very few of my friends to be one, then there’s no reason why more people can’t be. But let’s not get into that today.

Yesterday, I was meeting with a really cool person and he conveniently told me that it was Chinese New Year. He also told me that 2009 is the Year of the Ox (or Bull). He said that it was going to be a good year and he explained to me a little bit about the Bull. So far, this year has been amazing so I had no reason NOT to believe him. But I love looking into this kind of stuff so I went home and checked out the full description. This is what I came across:

“People born in the Year of the Ox are patient, speak little, and inspire confidence in others. They tend, however, to be eccentric, and bigoted, and they anger easily. They have fierce tempers and although they speak little, when they do they are quite eloquent. Ox people are mentally and physically alert. Generally easy-going, they can be remarkably stubborn, and they hate to fail or be opposed. They are most compatible with Snake, Rooster, and Rat people.”

That sounded pretty good. We need this year to be about patience and inspiring confidence. We need people to become mentally and physically alert, but easy-going. We need people who don't want to lose – it’ll make us even more so determined to succeed. I think being eccentric is never a bad thing. Bigotry and opposition will never truly die and so it’s important we continue the battle in freeing people’s minds and allow co-existence. I could go on and on about it.

But with all of that, it got me thinking. Can the qualities of a Bull and a Gentleman be personified within the same male?

I believe so.

Why can’t the two co-exist in unison within one man peacefully and not conflicted? We can be strong men who inspire greatness and confidence in others, while showing a side of sincerity and authenticity. We can be fierce and passionate. We can have the desire to be the best at what we do and still show love, care and a sense of vulnerability through the risks that we take everyday from the moment we open our eyes everyday.

Yeah, saying that you can be a gentle bull would be a total oxymoron, but the traits within both of them can co-exist.

Do you think that it can exist, this idea of a gentle bull?

I know it can. Those were the qualities I was raised under, so I know it can exist and I know what it would take to get there. If you’d like to know how, email me and I’ll help you figure this out.

Oh, by the way, being born in 1985, it puts 2009 as my year. Coincidence...?

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