October Style Inspiration from Jae

Every month, Jae, from Kinowear, a blog devoted to style, has a monthly inspiration post where he talks about some things that are up and coming in fashion. I have decided to include it in my style article stash. There are many things to take from here and it's a good way to update your wardrobe, month-to-month. If there is anything to take from this post, take this:

Start adding scarves to your wardrobe!

Here's the actual blog post.

Time for another monthly inspirational style article! Here are some styles and ideas you can creatively infuse into your current look:

Lose the plain skullcap this season and go for something more stylish like this thick cable knit beanie that David Beckham is wearing. I love how it’s a bit oversized and balanced with his thick hoodie. It adds just the right amount of flair to his casual outfit.

Speaking of Beckham, he often likes to wear boots with his casual outfits. These are the boots he wore when he signed his million dollar soccer deal. I checked them out and they’re by Frye - definitely a sweet pair of motorcycle style boots to get for this winter. [where to get them]

As I was looking for some Halloween costume ideas, I came across a picture of Ryan Reynolds who played Hannibal King in Blade:Trinity. Rumor said he did not only gain 20 pounds of muscles, but also reduced his body fat percentage from 11% to 3%. If this doesn’t inspire you to work out then I don’t know what will. Having a great body makes everything fit so much better.

We’ve all seen colorful sneakers out and about in the streets, but dress shoes? I think this entire outfit is badass. Definitely not something an older man should be wearing, but some awesome inspiration for the younger guys out there. I love the personality that the belt shows and the gloves and sunglasses give him the edge of a hitman.

Men should not be afraid to wear fur, but at the same time they should not overdo it. Less is more - a small amount of fur will attract attention and exude masculine confidence. A lot of their time designers will look to nature for inspiration. The piece above reminds me of a lion’s mane.

If you’ve read my last article, you already know that a scarf is the easiest way to spruce up your entire outfit. Instead of just having your scarf hang down, try tying your scarf around your neck like this for a more rakish look. [scarves at Urban Outfitters]

I see a lot of guys at parties wearing dress shirts, but rarely do I see them wearing color. Wearing color is such a great way to stand out of the bland crowd and display that you’re more confident about yourself. If you’re not comfortable about going with a bolder, solid colored shirt, wear something more subtle like this red striped shirt above.

Something I like to do when I go out to party is to ditch the tie, and instead, dress up a blazer with some fancy cuff links. It keeps that cool balance between a relaxed look and that surprising little flair of tasteful style.

Got any inspirational style pieces or looks?
Send them to styleinspirations@kinowear.com to be featured next time!

Podcast Infinity Starts This Wednesday at 9 PM at the Draft Bar!!

Yes! It’s true. I have been researching trying to figuring out how to be more interactive with my audience and I figure this is the best way to do it. Welcome to Podcast Infinity.

Every Wednesday, we will host a live show inside a local bar in the Boston area. This week, we will be at the Draft Bar in Allston, MA. We will talk about various topics about dating and self-improvement, from different methods to approaching women to realizing what it takes to keep the woman of your dreams. Other topics will include, style, general appearance, building self-esteem and getting over your sticking points that prevent you from doing things. We will also talk about dating news and topics as they spring up over the week on the Internets. And lastly, we will have some impromptu Q&A sessions with actual local people, finding out more about lifestyle and dating.

You should be able to check out the episode on the web every Friday night.

Who knows, maybe you’ll get to see some live pickups and analysis as well.

I know this is going to be a very fun show to do and I am excited to bring you all even more content.

If you already have an idea of what topics you’d like me to cover, feel free to email me at infinity@recklessstudio.com.

Take Off Your Pants!

This reminds me of something that I’d like to finally share with you. I will tell you right now that you are not going to believe this story. This story sounds so absurd but I am telling you now that this is REAL. And this story made me realize something good. Can’t really imagine what good can come out of this but you’ll see my point. So, here it goes.

My buddy (we’ll call him Max), his girlfriend (we’ll call her Ashley) and his guy friend (let’s call him Jake) just came back from a late-night dinner. Everyone was having a good time. Max and Ashley thought it was cool to bring Jake along because he was a good guy and fun to hang with. They were having a great time but it was time to head back home and call it a night.

So they get to the hotel and go into the elevator. Jake was in the back of the elevator and Max and Ashley were by the door, with Max’s back turned to Jake as the doors close and they’re on their way up.

As they were slowly going up, Ashley screamed, “Eww!” Max asked, “What’s wrong?” Ashley pointed and Max turned around, only to see Jake, with his pants at his ankles making kissy faces to Ashley. Now I know Max. He’s a good guy and I know he’s going to keep his cool, even in times of absurdity. He was obviously creeped out by Jake’s actions and immediately told him to knock it off and put his pants back on. Max turns back around toward Ashley and looks up to notice that they’re about 5 more floors until they can get off. Then things get more ridiculous.

This time, Ashley screams, “oh, my God! What are you doing?”

Max turns around and sees his friend Jake with now his underwear down his jewels tucked in between his legs, still making kissy faces. This time, Max was not so cool. He shoves Jake and Jake trips over his pants around his ankles and falls back onto the wall of the elevator. At that time, Max and Ashley reach their floor and practically sprint off, leaving Jake in the elevator, pantsless and wondering what happened.

Max later told me that he forgave his friend and because of different culture interpretation, Jake thought that because Ashley was being friendly to him, he thought she wanted to have sex with him.

I know, it sounds absurd but in other cultures this is the normal. I guess it would make sense to include the fact that no alcohol was consumed prior to this event.

So what about this story made me think of something good? Well, clearly this is about breaking your social comfort…and taking off your pants.

We are all afraid to do something that we’re not used to. You know it’s going to be nerve-racking because you don’t know what may result. That in turn causes you to freak out and not want to do it. Do you ever get over it and just do it? No? Well here is my motivation to you. Take off your pants and go for it!

Now don’t really take off your pants, but consider this. We live in a world where anything is possible. You will only live once and time does not stop. On the timeline of your life, there are things that you will always remember. Then, there are things that you don’t remember. Now this might be a little difficult to type but try and try and follow me here.

All of these things that you don’t remember, those things are made up of good and bad experiences. Maybe you were picked on a lot in elementary school. Maybe, there was this one time where you tripped in the cafeteria and everyone laughed at you. Maybe, you said something to a group of people and you were totally embarrassed and they made fun of you. Those events aren’t important to you now, right? Then what makes today any different?

See that gorgeous woman walking by you? Say something. She might continue to walk by you and you’ll never see her again. Or maybe she’ll stop and talk to you. Either way, you may not ever see her again and years from now you’ll forget her. But…what if she likes you and you get to see her again? What if she really likes you and she becomes your girl? What if you two fall in love and get married? What if she fulfills every void in your life you didn’t even think you had? That to me is worth at least, “Hi.”

But it doesn’t stop there. What if you want to try a different career? What if you hate your job? Not sure what will happen? Doesn’t sound safe to just leave your secure job and try something a little more risky? But what if you do and you come across a multi-million dollar idea? Or what if you just find a job that makes you happy and wouldn’t mind doing it for the rest of your life? Isn’t that worthwhile to venture off and look for it?

If you are in a position where you are not satisfied with where you are in your life, you need to forget everything you learned prior to that moment and just go out there. You won’t have any armor to hide behind, you’ll be more vulnerable and exposed but isn’t that the time when we learn the most? Stepping outside your comfort box is a hard thing to do, but you have to remember, you don’t have much to lose and so much more to gain. After a while, you'll get used to it and trying new things just to better yourself will be something you'll want to do all the time. Just be conscious of your circumstances before going for it. You certainly have my support in trying something new and going beyond your comfort. Hey, who knows? Maybe that area outside your comfort zone may actually be…comfortable.

So take off your pants! But please – use discretion.

Complete Analysis of Men Trying to "Pick Up" Women

So, like I said, I am going to talk about every interaction on VH1’s the Pickup Artist. These guys go out on challenges and interact with women. The commentary Mystery gives is not in-depth enough (considering the time constraint – I’m sure he could talk for hours). So, this is where I come in. You can see my review of Episode 2 here.

Here is the rundown of every interaction these guys had and I’ll point out what was great and not so great about the interaction.

Matt has some great confidence about him, which I expect. Then a woman approached him and said, “That’s hot.” He did some creepy thing with the boa and said thank you. End game.

Listen, when a woman approaches you and says something, they are putting themselves out there to connect with you. Women don’t have to do that because they have so many guys putting themselves out there for them. So far them to do that clearly shows that they may be attracted to you. You have to take advantage of that and start a conversational thread. You have to. If someone gave you keys to a Ferrari, are you going to say thank you and not take it? Extreme example, I know but it can equate to the same magnitude of missing out if you don’t jump on these signs of interest.

Another girl approaches him and it works for only a couple of seconds and it fizzles. Why? He lets the girl wear it for only a few seconds and then takes it back saying, “it looks better on me.” How is that making her feel good? Make her hold on to it. If she runs away, she runs away. It’s a boa! What value does it have to you? He just got it from Mystery. Come on. He would have to expect a friend to jump in there and save her. He wasn’t being nice to her at all.

Todd goes in and asks a woman, “would you go on the Montell Williams show?” It’s a good one, but I was interested to see where he was going to go with this. He smiles and it was money. Then he says, “you know, when you smile, your nose wiggles a bit.” A great neg. Makes any honest woman subconscious about it because you’re pointing out something that you notice about her. If you follow it with, “it’s cute.” Then she’s not going to feel offended by it. She’s actually going to love it because something that she may feel insecure about is not something that a guy likes about her. Right away, he uses a false-time constraint (FTC), “seriously, I have to go join my friends in a second.” Then she says that she found his piercing sexy, a clear indication of interest (IOI). You can just run with it at that point. Then he’s able to get a free drink from the woman. Pretty solid interaction if you ask me. Cheers!

Greg jumps right into a set and talks about how he sparred with Andy Dick. Probably not the best opener. You could definitely save it for later when you are trying to demonstrate social value (DHV) to a group, but not right at the beginning. It sounds too absurd to be true and it actually doesn’t make sense in the interaction. The woman will have no idea how to respond to that. Which is why the woman asked him, “so, what was the point of that story?” Nothing much you can do at that point.

So jumps right into another set. I was able to pause it and check out his body language. The women look at him, he’s looking away with his body at a ¾ turn. His posture is upright, chest out and chin up. It is perfect! The definition of the “alpha” position.

“What do you think about tattoos on girls?” Another solid question you could ask anyone. The Name Tattoos routine is a great conversational starter. Don’t believe me? Ask this very same question to your friends and see what kind of conversation comes out of it.

But anyway, he didn’t talk to the other woman and the more he ignored her, the most the woman lost interest. Once you lose one person in a set, you eventually lose them all. He did leave the set pretty quickly which was good timing.

Rian goes around and starts engaging everyone. He goes into a set, acknowledging the guy first and uses the Elvis routine.

Goes into another set and she asks a question and the woman just turns her back without saying anything. Pretty rude.

But he goes into another set. This started to bother me because he wasn’t creating any attraction here. He was just going around talking to people and then leaving after the conversation died out. Your classic case of being an open whore. This time he goes into a 6-set but that was too overwhelming. So he leaves…

Simeon has great energy. You can just feel it. It’s cool because it gives him an aura of the kind of person that you just want to know. He goes into a set and asks for a female opinion. Some douchbag screams, “shut the fuck up.” This will happen. But man, what a douche. There are so many things you could say to that, but check out what happens after. He ignores it and tries to keep going. But then he realizes that it’s not worth it. Then you notice that this girl gives him a face as he walks away. There was no reason for that. Anyone that’s her friend should be embarrassed. Someone being nice and harmless comes in and wants to start conversation and that’s how you treat them? Wow. I would love NOT to meet your friends. Tara immediately says “what a bitch.” Choice words.

So he goes into another set. He talks about maybe getting more piercings but you tell that his energy is just too high for the group he is talking to. You want to have high energy, but just a little bit more than the energy of the group. That way, you serve as somewhat of a pick me up for the group. Too high energy will come off as try-hard and a little weird.

They cut into him approaching another set and doing the spells routine. He successfully opens a 5-set and starts talking to everyone. Then one of the women in the group says, “I’m bored with this.” I wasn’t shocked at all. It wasn’t his fault. He was just getting into the wrong sets. These women were just terrible. There is a difference between being bitchy because you want to spare wasting time with a guy you’re not interested and actually being a bitch. If you were to see these interactions, you would agree with me to an extent that these women were not just acting bitchy. Tara complains again and Mystery reinforces his point of how hard us guys have it. And he’s right to a point. When you just get hit with bad vibes and people are just flat out rude, it does make things hard.

Karl He goes into a set with the spells routine. He engages the entire group but then when the conversation dies, so does he. He seems rocked by it. Tries to think of another opener but just psyches himself out.

Brian Goes into a set and does the Mick Jagger routine. “Do you think Mick Jagger is hot?” It opens up the set but he doesn’t interact with the guys.

Let me say that if you are going to go into a mixed set men and women, make sure if you are going into this set by yourself, make sure you pay respect to the men of the group. If you do that, then you don’t have to worry about them later. Some guys are actually pretty nice guys. Don’t get into that frame thinking that every guy out there that you’ll approach is going to be a douchebag. It’ll be cool. Which is why I always say, “talk to everybody.”

Then he busts out the “pickle juice” crap Matador fed him. It actually worked and that’s because Brian knew the perfect time to use it. It was well executed. You can do that with any off-the-wall comment, but you have to understand the timing and the kind of group you are talking to.

He goes into another set, does the Mick Jagger opener and then right away, introduces himself to the guy. It was perfect! Just put down all the guns pointed at you. You’ll get yourself another 2-3 minutes before those guns come back up. He’s pumping out a good vibe and just being great. He gives a high-five, grabs her hand and gives her a spin. On point. Then she gives him a hug. Why? Because she’s having a great time and she’s letting him know that. Then what does he do? He grabs her and picks her up off the floor. He’s been hanging around Matador way too much. But I do like this because it continues the playful attitude that everyone loves. He did a great job.

And I gotta say, the hair is growing on me. At first I thought it was too much but it works for him and his personality. Besides, who am I to say anything about anyone else’s hair? My hair can get out of control sometimes.

Kevin Ah, Kevin. So much potential but absolutely no experience whatsoever. He goes into a set and does the Herman routine. “Ladies, would you date a guy whose name is Herman?” It’s a fun routine to use. I would recommend using it just to be playful. The problem here is that Kevin started swearing way too much. Too, too much.

He goes into another set, doing the same routine. This time, he doesn’t interact with the guy next to him; he creeps out the women and then just goes way too fast in his conversation. Not good. He seems a little desperate and just gets too focused on the opener. Women pick this up immediately and become less attracted.

So I hope you can use this material to better analyze what you could do better while you’re out there. It’s great to be able to see these things for yourself, so be sure to look out for episodes online!

Any questions or comments are always welcome.

Vests Are In Now! Do You Have One?

So lately, I have been obsessed with what the big deal is with vests. Sweater vests and button-downs. When I saw them being used on the Pick Up Artist Season 2 on VH1, I wasn't sure about it. My buddy, Ty is notorious for wearing vests whenever we went out and it worked for him. I didn’t think that it would look as good on me but it was cool. Since I have been more open to trying new things in my wardrobe, I have decided to start giving vests a chance.

A few weeks ago, I went into Express and bought a sweater vest with the argyle pattern. Pretty solid. I love it.

Then I met someone is my buddy now, Ben Grossman. He loves sweater vests, wears them all the time and knows a thing or two about finding really good ones. He actually got me excited about wearing vests, which I thought was pretty cool! I'll see if he'd like to add his two cents here at a later time.

Then I came across this article in the newspaper. Yeah, I still read the newspapers sometimes. But of course I was able to find it online. So here it is. It's is from the Boston Herald's The Edge and it's by Jill Radsken.

Vest intentions: Classic silhouette is trendy again

Man girdle or exciting new menswear option?

The vest’s return this fall gives men more choices in the closet, but at least one expert cautions against using the sleeveless garment as Spanx.

“If you are a skinny-to-average build, this is a silhouette for you,” said Steve Cardino, men’s fashion director at Macy’s. “If you have a little bit of a stomach, move to the cardigan.”

Count Jared Bowen of Boston among the slender types who has embraced the vest - actually three of them - with glee.

“I just love the look,” he said. “It’s sort of old-world style without seeming too antiquated.”

Bowen, who works as a reporter for WGBH-TV’s “Greater Boston,” wears his vests at work and out for dinner. His most recent purchase, a midnight-hued woven piece by Giorgio Armani, usually gets paired with a white shirt and sport coat.

“And you have to be very careful of the pants you choose,” he said. “I don’t think you can wear it with jeans. It starts to look slovenly.”

Jonathan Plazonja thinks otherwise. The self-employed branding consultant from Brookline counts a charcoal-colored Marmot with jeans and a Paul Smith blazer as a favorite.

“I like mixing different styles,” said Plazonja, who channels such contrasting fashion icons as Cary Grant and David Bowie with the vests. “Even with a suit, it’s a great look.”

In these tough economic times, the vest also is relatively inexpensive, Plazonja added. Instead of buying a high-end label at a designer boutique, he scours consignments shops.

Mike Witt hasn’t decided whether to add a new or a gently worn vest to his wardrobe. But the 47-year-old, who owns Mike Witt Interior Design in Boston, said the fitted, high-button garment is any man’s best option.

“It holds you upright and it’s a bit more proper,” he said.

Witt, a sucker for a crisp white shirt, doesn’t own a single three-piece suit. But he finds the vest has the power to transform any outfit.

“It takes something very casual and makes it a bit more tailored without going the jacket route,” he said. “You put it under a jacket and it takes it to the next level.”

But Steve Cardino of Macy’s believes the vest shouldn’t be hidden under a jacket.

“It’s meant to be worn as a separate,” he said. “It’s meant to stand on its own.”

As for the button-popping guys sucking in their guts to squeeze into a vest, Cardino reiterated this advice: “The cardigan’s also very trendy - and more forgiving.”

Having read this, I immediately had the impulse to try this out. I remember when I last wore a vest. I was in elementary school. I was a suede vest and it was my favorite piece of clothing ever. I kept it almost through high school even though I couldn't even fit in it. It was also outdated and it was time to let go. Didn't think the vest would come back but since they are back, it was worth a shot.

So I went to Express again and I ran into these two.

A velvet vest:

And a tuxedo vest, a drastically more formal type of wear.

I felt great wearing these two and they looked so good with the shirts that I have.

The vest is an underrated accessory bound to take your wardrobe to the next level. I plan on wearing one tonight. Can't wait!

If you have any questions, feel free to comment and email me.

What Can Really Go On in the Men's Room

So, last week, I was with a group of friends eating at Gillette Stadium at a place called SkipJack’s – very good food, by the way. I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom. Now while I was in the bathroom doing my tinkle thing, my mother called me. Something about the moment made me answer and it was a pretty quick conversation. She just wanted to know if I was coming home tonight.

Then as I was ending the conversation with my mother, I got another call from my job. They had called and were looking to see if I wanted to work or something silly like that. I don’t know why they would call me so late in the night but that’s whatever. Then they were asking me how my promotion was going and what I have learned so far. Like I said, I don’t know about the moment but I was so compelled and passionate about telling him. He was impressed and we had a good conversation.

Realizing where I was, I jetted out of the bathroom and back to join my friends. But before I could, I had one problem. I recently bought these jeans from American Eagle, and I love them. The only problem I am having is getting used to button-fly jeans. They take some time breaking them in. I completely struggle with buttoning these jeans to the point where I was only able to button “the important ones.” After a few more minutes, I was able to leave the bathroom. Of course, I got a ton of comments about what really went on in the bathroom. I found it funny that all of the events happened and it brought smiles to everyone’s faces. I’m good for that.

But having that episode in the men’s room, it made me think of the kinds of internal conversations that we have there. Besides the car, it’s where we do the most internal thinking – unless you’re one to set time aside for meditation. And I feel that it’s important that we take advantage of those times where “being alone” will always happen and do some internal thinking, whether for motivation, planning or just collecting your thoughts. Then I came across this.

There is a new Internet show called the Men’s Room, hosted by Mark Sparks. He is a multi-dimensional talent for some reason I believe that he was a contestant on Keys to the VIP. I’ll have to go back and check that out to confirm. But anyway, he’s done a couple shows and I am excited about the people he is going to have here in the future. There is so much to learn, that I am including it here on my site. Check it out!

Watch this episode above about Frank Kermit. He is someone that any guy can look up to as he provides something I care about a lot. Not just getting the girl. But keeping her.

You can also check the Men's Room website here if you want to see more videos. If I see other episodes worth posting here, better believe you’ll catch it here.

Props to Mark Sparks on this one!

Use Text Messaging to Attract Women? How?

So I have come to realize that text messaging is important to attracting women. People don't have time to talk on the phone these days and so in order to keep the momentum with your favorite lady, your "text game" needs to be on point.

You might be thinking that I am ridiculous. And I probably am, but it's cool. Before I wanted to post this, I wanted to give a little proof as to how important it is these days to be able to say so much with those 140-plus characters. So here it is. A study conducted by AT&T. Thanks to W.David Gardner from InformationWeek.

Some 68% of the respondents to the telecom's survey said they sent a love note via text messaging, and 67% said they used texting to flirt. 

Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy misses girl, so what does he do?

Not too long ago, boy called girl on the telephone or wrote girl a letter to get her back. Today, boy texts girl, gets her back, and boy and girl live happily ever after in high-tech wireless heaven. Sometimes, at least.

That's a new scenario uncovered by AT&T in an extensive survey of text-messaging 1,000 adults ages 18 to 55.

"People have discovered that there are moments when just the right text, sent at just the right time, can go a long way to keeping romance alive," said Alecia Bridgwater, director of messaging for AT&T's wireless unit, in a statement. "We wanted to understand more deeply how our customers were using text messaging in this way, and our study turned up some interesting insights."

For instance, 68% of the respondents said they sent a love note via text messaging, and 67% said they used texting to flirt.

Dee Casey, a frequent texter and AT&T customer from San Antonio, is sold.

"I spend a ton of time texting every day," he said. "I think it's much easier to flirt via text message than in person because you have a moment to think of a cute, flirty, creative response without being embarrassed about what the other person will think."

For couples in established relationships, "thinking of you" is the most common text message sent to their significant others. Some 28% of those surveyed said they text at least three times a day with a significant other or spouse.

The survey did find a few negatives in texting, however. One-third of the respondents said they would be upset if a significant other responded to a wireless transmission while on a date. A total of 84% said that text messages can be misunderstood by a date or suitor.

The survey found that older adults ages 36 to 55 were less likely to text significant others than younger adults, 18 to 35.

But what about a "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" text message sent to inform another person that their relationship is ending? Discreetly, perhaps, the AT&T study didn't discuss that issue. A U.K. study last year of more than 2,000 adults found one in seven respondents was dumped by e-mail or other digital message.

The Pick Up Artist Episode 2: Review

Let me just say that I LOVE the fact that I have this on DVR. There are always some things that you miss when watching it the first time and my article on Episode 1 showed that. So, I am going to be writing each article every week while watching it over again and to include as much things as possible.

Well, with Alex eliminated, all the guys are freaking out. I would call this a reality show moment. And I have also decided to implement a Rian Breakdown Count. We’ll start retroactive to last week. So far the count is 2.

They show up outside of this weird-looking place called the Italian Club. I mean, this place could really be anything. I mean, when I saw it, I thought Subway, but that just might be wrong in other ways. Anyway, as soon as the guys saw the word club, they immediately thought, strippers. What’s up with these guys wanting to meet and talk to strippers? They can barely talk to normal people in bars. How do they possibly think that they would be able to talk to what I would consider amongst the Queens of Pickup? And do you think Mystery would embarrass himself and everyone else by putting them in a hopeless situation of that magnitude? Doubtful. This is certainly not a strip club. I actually thought was going to be a nursing home.

Anyway, Mystery wants these guys to start understanding the importance of building long-lasting confidence. It’s not just about the clothes. It’s just one part. You when you open your mouth, you have to stay congruent. Would be nice for some guys to just look good and never have to open their mouths and still get with women but that’s just not the case, guys.

Mystery implements his first reward challenge where all you have to do make as many good first-impressions as possible with these women. They run in there and all they see are old women playing bingo. Priceless. I love how the older women’s eyes lit up at the sight of fresh virgin meat. I thought that was funny as well.

Here’s where I can put in something important. I’ll make it bold and wrap it in some quotations. This you should read.

I think that night game is much more difficult than day game. And I agree with most pick up artists out there that say that if you can get through night game, then day game will be easy. But I also think it’s important, not to forget about day game. It’s much more relaxed and it’s an easier way to slowly build confidence and make connections. I read all the time that guys don’t think they will find the One at a bar or nightclub. And to an extent, you are right. You are most likely able to find the One in a supermarket or a bookstore or even a coffee shop. But don’t overlook the club or bar though. Unless you are at a yoga studio or another place where you have access to large amounts of women, the clubs and bars are going to be your places to go.

So these guys get into things and some do well, others did terribly. I thought Simeon was too fake. He had high energy but he didn’t mean any of what he said and it doesn’t matter how old women are – they are going to notice. Brian was just too much for them and he came off as weird and rude at times. The comment where he says, “I love how you guys stink,” was just silly and mean. Although when he referred to these older women as sabertooths, I found that pretty funny. Then there’s Kevin, who I figured out what about him is missing from his game. He has no social awareness – at all. His comment about old people having stories (from World War II) was just terrible. I hope he was just kidding but something tells me he wasn’t and that worries me, considering I thought of him to be one of the favorites. He struggled.

The winner ended up being Matt, the self-proclaimed Jewish party schmoozer and the superstar I mistook for Carl (I guy I thought I knew). He has great social skills (in a low pressure environment) and that showed today. Now if he could only transfer those skills to attracting women.

So Mystery, finally gives his first lesson: Approaching and Openers

He says that it’s important to do indirect openers in the lounges. And it’s funny to hear Mystery says these things and I just know everything about it. It also helps that I have read his book about the Venusian Arts.

“Did you see the fight outside?”

“Who lies more? Men or women?”

So typical.

Anyway, one thing that Mystery mentions that I think is important when it comes to understand how this works is his talk about a hook point.

Hook points are the points where the set you are interacting with doesn’t want you leave. I mean, it should give you a good feeling. Imagine that – people think you’re cool so they want you to stick around. Now using a false time constraint (FTC) can reinforce this.

“I only have a couple minutes because I have to meet up with my friends who are looking for me.”

Also looking like you’re ready to leave is another way of showing an FTC. Body language is key here because you have to show that you are only here for the interaction and to share this question/story really quickly before you go off about your business.

Mystery also mentions negging, which is saying something that disqualifies the woman you’re talking to from being a potential mate. It works with certain types of women. I find that it’s unnecessary most of the time. But when I do use them, it’s fun and playful and women get it. So I think negging is a personal choice.

On a side note, Matador’s comment about pickle juice is just dumb. What an idiot. Although, that would only work for Brian. So I’m sure he’s going to use it when he’s out there.

Matt receives Mystery’s secret accessory, his boa. It’s a trademark for him and it is pretty easy to get people to approach you (remember Alex’s chain?). You can use it as a lock-in prop, which is essentially a prop you use to create a connection with a woman. You can wrap it around her, or have her hold on to it. But once that connection is made, you’re in pretty good standing because she’ll always remember that connection with you and since it was a good one, she’ll be likely to talk to you. I never really carry lock-in props, since I am always carrying my camera, flip-cam and my iPhone. But lock-in props do work. I’ll share a story about how I came across one during the night and it worked like magic in a post later this week.

So the contest that night was about using those openers. They were going to be judged by how well they executed their openers and how successful they were able to get hooking points from their sets.

Brian ended up winning the challenge, which I thought was pretty cool. He did deserve it for that night. But then he freaked out about choose two wingmen. Just choose two people you like. It’s so early that it’s not even that important.

Rian has another breakdown somewhere here so the Rian Breakdown Count is up to 3.

Anyway, I understood why Kevin got eliminated over Carl. Kevin just has no social awareness. It’s just awful. And to think, I considered him a favorite. This just comes to show you that you need to have social awareness. That will come with being out there getting interactions with people as much as you can.

One thing that I also wanted to point out were the medallions. This week’s medallion was the Burkanan, which meant re-birth and new life. Here’s a site that goes into it in more detail. Clearly this is true for these guys as they are about to get into world they’ve never been before and truly find out who they are as people. “The beginning of a new life.”

Business is picking up.

What an Interesting Way To Make A Difference

I was really fortunate to get a ticket to this special event. The event was already sold out and I missed out on not only the first batch but also the second batch of tickets. Out of nowhere, the released another 15 tickets. Once I heard this, I impatiently waited to finish work and then raced home to order one. When I did, there were about 7 left. I am so glad I went.

Almost one week ago, I was at the Harvard Club…as a valet. They were celebrating 100 years at the Harvard Club. Being me, I had an appreciation of the exclusivity of the venue. It was cool and the place looked awesome with paintings of historical figures such as JFK. To show up the next week, actually walking into the place to BE there was something special within itself. A couple of the people there who saw me last week recognized me and had that surprised look as if they were thinking, “what are you doing here? Are you looking for someone or are you lost?” Anyway, I digress.

The SM4SC event was awesome. I got to meet up with some great twitter friends, and meet some really, really cool people. There was great conversation going on everywhere and there was so much to learn here. I got to learn a lot about other people’s ideas and really appreciated the ideas that we all shared.

Another REALLY cool thing that happened to me was that I won something from the raffle! I tried to wait ‘til the end of this post but I couldn’t hold it much longer. I was fortunate enough to win a full pass to tomorrow’s New Marketing Summit at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts. It is going to be awesome and I can’t wait. Once again, I have to thank Adam Cohen (@adamcohen) for giving up the prize (since he already had a pass to go) and Chris Brogan (@chrisbrogan) for donating the prize. I got to talk to him today and thanked him for giving me this opportunity. I hope I get to talk to him for a longer time tomorrow during the summit. If you don’t know who Chris Brogan is, you should find out.

But what was the point of all this? Well to have fun but for a great cause. All the proceeds are going to Jane Doe Inc., which is the Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence. This is actually one of the issues that has been hiding under the radar with all the “other” issues going on. I think it’s important that we don’t forget the issues that start in the home. I strongly suggest that you make a donation to Jane Doe.

But there are some really good speeches that I want you to check out.

This one is of Mike Davis (@globalcitizen), a power representative of Empressr, a rich media presentation tool (that I think is pretty cool). He talks how he got here with a paper clip.



The next one is from Gradon Tripp (@gradontripp). Quoted to be the brainchild of Social Media for Social Change, he explains how the power of social media can do great things. You can check out SM4SC here.



This one is from Toni, from Jane Doe, Inc. She talks about Jane Doe and how hard they fight to help victims of sexual and domestic abuse.



And my man, Oz Sultan (@ozsultan) just gives a few brief words on how we can help. You can check out his site here.



This is just the beginning as it looks to turn out to be a great thing we have here.

You can check out some of the photos here. There are tons more ALL over Flickr.

Nothing Can Be Better Than This!

What an amazing week that I just had! Project Infinity has been asleep for the past few days and that's because I have been running around being crazy, talking to as many people as possible and sharing ideas. What I have learned in this past week is something I could have never learned in my 5 years in college.

Because I am behind in my posts, I am going to post my "notes" and comments while I was there. The videos I have are too big, so I am going to have to break them down and upload them piece by piece. That will take forever so I will have to let you know when I post them. It will be a follow-up to this post.

So here is my set of comments and thoughts:

As day one of the New Marketing Summit comes to an end, I would like to share thoughts. But before I even do that, I have some quick comments that I think everyone here would agree with.

I like the quick pace of the panels and discussions. It’s been great and although some people would have liked more time, the amount of information that has been given is tremendous. I have so much going on in my head and although it’s a bit overwhelming, it’s not too much for me to lose.

There needs to be a constant flow of coffee, tea and soda here! There’s no going around it. How can you have a conference and not have caffeine around to keep us awake. Despicable. But hopefully that will change tomorrow. Just in case, I am bringing a huge thing of tea and vitamin water with me.

Ok, now that’s out of the way, I just wanted to say how fortunate I am to be able to go to something like this and meet some of the brain children of some major marketing companies that work social media like champs! There have been really good presentations here and one that was really good for me was the “Millenial Marketing Movers” panel, ran by Ben Grossman (@BenGrossman), Emily Belyea, Rebecca Corliss (@repcor) and Matt Peters. They are all around my age and seeing them up there made me realize that we, as the next generation, hold so much power. Ben was right. By 2010, we are going to out number the Baby-Boomers. That’s just crazy to think about, but it’s true. And the great thing about what I would like to do is that my audience is around my age. And with that focus, I have to keep in mind that, what I like and want will most likely be similar to what everyone else likes and wants. It’s just a matter of producing content and generating discussion for people to be intrigued by and want to participate in. So that has me excited!

This one is from day two at the summit. You'll be able to tell that I was full of excitement:

Let me just say that as I hang out and listen to a panel about Email Marketing, I had to write this post. I seriously can’t contain this excitement. My face just might fall off! This is great. I LOVE meeting people! Now although, I knew this already, it’s great when you ACTUALLY get to meet people.

The amount of people that I have met over the past two days is astronomical. In hindsight, it might not be as much, BUT the experience of meeting these people is something that I’ll never forget. Coming to this New Marketing Summit has been another great decision that I have made in my life.

This is something that I have to reinforce time and time again. We are capable of meeting great people if you actually just take the chance and go out there. You are your own brand. Your brand is [insert name here]. Market the hell out of it and make it the best damn brand out there. How? Well, you gotta put yourself out there, whether on the internet or in-person. Make every experience an enjoyable one with whoever you come across. You will have so much fun and you will gain an incredible social circle of people that WANT to talk to you and know who you are! Imagine that! People WANTING to know who YOU are! It’s crazy, I know but it’s true and it works.

I have videos here to post as well. One major one was by Glenn Gaudet (@glenng), CMO of Podcast.com. He helped me realize the best way to kick-start my Podcast, which is coming VERY SOON!

This is a VERY exciting time for me as you will see. I am excited to take Project Infinity to the next level!

Thanks to everyone who has helped me. To everyone that I have met:

YOU ALL ROCK!