Monday Maverick: Set Milestones

The ladder may be high, but you can still get to the top.

Every Monday I’ll be giving tips on different perspectives on dating that will “free Your mind.” Like a true Maverick, I’ll give an unorthodox approach to everyday scenarios that will help you in your dating life and potentially beyond.

Set milestones for your dating life.

When I ask clients what they would like to accomplish in their dating lives, they usually say the same thing.

"I'd like a wife / husband," or, "I really want a girlfriend / boyfriend."

And when I ask them how they are planning to get there, it's unfortunately the same thing.

How to Keep Your Resolutions in 2010

As it gets closer and closer to 2010, we have this urge to create a list of New Year resolutions. We have all of these things that we’d like to change and we swear to ourselves that we are going to change them. And in most cases we do – for a few weeks. Then it’s downhill from there. Next thing you know, January 1, 2011 is approaching and you’re making the same resolutions – and it becomes a cycle of just setting yourself up for failure, every year.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a sincere desire to make these changes for ourselves. It’s just so hard. I’ll admit, when I made resolutions prior to 2008, I would try so hard to keep them and a few months later, I would just forget about it (I actually don’t make resolutions anymore). Sometimes, we try hard to make a change that we go into it without forming a plan that will get you the results you want.

A lot of you guys come to me because you aren’t looking just to meet and attract women. You all are looking for a long-term relationship. Some of you are looking for a wife. There are some of you who are just looking to improve your social life. In order to achieve those things, you need a course of action. Resolutions take the same principle. You are going to need a plan to make your resolution a piece of cake.

Here are some tips that can help you stay on track on whatever resolution you have.

Be as specific as possible.
Don’t be vague with the goal you are trying to set. In order to be able to view this goal being accomplished, you have to view it as specifically as possible. You have to push it as far as you can. Let your goal be, “I’m going to be better at scheduling more personal time. Every week, I will designate 3-4 hours to do whatever I want for myself. For each week of the month, I will rotate an activity for that week. Maybe in the first week, I’ll play video games, then in the second week, I’ll watch a couple movies, and so forth.” When you can visualize yourself accomplishing something, you are already halfway there to making it happen.

Set milestones. Setting smaller milestones in order to ease the path to accomplishing your goal. It’s actually rather simple. With a design background, I’ll use this example. Clients rely on setting these milestones to make sure that they are getting what they ordered on time and exactly how they wanted it. Anyone can do this if you set your own milestones too. So with the free time thing, set some smaller goals for yourself. Maybe you want to make sure that your phone is off so you’re not distracted for the 3-4 hours. You could also shut your computer down so you don’t have to look at your email, Facebook or Twitter. These short-term goals, although really small in perspective, will help you stay focused on what you’d like to accomplish.

Be accountable. There are different ways to hold yourself accountable these days. You can have a friend do it. Having another person encourage you or join you in the resolution will ease the pressure and make it easier to keeping your resolution. You can also start a blog, similar to how I did two years ago. Other people read it and will follow it, expecting you to hold your end of the bargain. However you decide to do it, you are never alone.

Treat yourself. When doing a design project, if you complete a milestone, you get paid a portion of the total. Reward yourself when you accomplish smaller goals toward achieving your resolution. As long as the reward doesn’t counter your progress, you’ll be fine. So if you are actually doing the 3-4 hours successfully for a month and things are working well for you, you can reward yourself by giving yourself an extra hour for one week. If you like video games, you can reward yourself by buying a new video game for that week you play. If you really like movies, you can reward yourself by buying a Netflix account for the week you are watching movies. If you keep doing this, let the rewards get better and serve as a motivator as you get closer to keeping your resolution.

Happy New Year and bring 2010 in with a bang!

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to receive future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Do You Want to Enhance Your Social Life?

If so, sign up for the Wingman Labs for free dating tips and exclusive content! Also receive my free eBook, 5 Elements of Having Your Own Rockstar Lifestyle. One of the easiest and effective ways to improve your social life.