Modes of Attraction: Part 1 - Ethos

Attraction is a sort of demonstrative emotion, since we are most fully attracted when we consider a thing to be attractive. Generally, there are three means of attraction. Attraction is achieved by a person’s personal character, when their actions make us believe that person is attractive. Secondly, attraction may come through stories, or simple voice cues that can stir emotion. Thirdly, attraction is effected though the words themselves when verbal persuasion can prove their attraction. Aristotle was big on interpreting the modes of persuasion; ethos, pathos and logos. In this three-part series, we will take a look at each one, giving examples in relation to the ability to demonstrate attraction.

Part 1: Ethos
Part 2: Pathos
Part 3: Logos

Aristotle said the ethos mode of persuasion is an appeal to the authority or honesty of the speaker. In relation to attraction, this is a strategy used to attract someone by either representing an authority figure (or status symbol) or the ability to connect through genuine transparency. This can be done in many ways:

1. By being famous or an expert in a particular field of interest, such as an actor, owner of a company, a doctor, politician or in some cases, a reality show star.

2. By having absolute enthusiasm in a field of interest; passion is sexy.

3. By appealing to the person’s character, such as dressing a certain way or holding yourself to a higher standard.

4. Also, by being your true self. 

Yes, #4 sounds cliché, but by representing yourself in a way that allows you to be authentic, while also maintaining a strong presence among your listeners (to be read as “displaying confidence and rigid congruency with what you say and who you are”), you will garner the same result.

Let’s take my opinion on how to approach a woman as an example. A person’s character is defined by the actions they take and the decisions they make. When you can approach a woman calmly and directly, while stating your reasoning for approaching her, your character resonates with her, giving you what I would call attraction credibility. From there, you’ll have more time to verify that “credibility” and increase your attraction, which we’ll get into in the next part of the series.

Having said all that, Brad Pitt can walk in the room and he doesn’t need to do anything. Women will launch themselves at him like heat-seeking missiles. Why? Because he already has attraction credibility as a movie star. For those who think his good looks are the reason, you’re partially right. Good looks will always inherit attraction credibility. But that’s not something he can control (he was born with good looks). But he can control being a movie star, which has amplified his attraction credibility. 

Do you see the point?

In this world, you can be a power player, or you can have powerful character. Either way, you do have elements which you can control.

In the next part, we’ll get into how telling stories and using simple voice cues can stir attraction.