Building Confidence to Approach Women


Approaching a woman to get her number or to buy her a drink can often feel intimidating. Many men are worried they’ll come off in an inappropriate or creepy way. Others just don’t feel confident or know what to say.

Confidence is a major component of first impressions, so be sure to take certain steps towards building up your confidence if you want successful interactions with women. Here are a few tips on how you can find your confidence before speaking with a woman you’re interested in getting to know.

Feel comfortable with your appearance

If you’re looking good, you’ll feel good. If you plan on hitting up some bars or are going to a coffee shop where that cute barista works, prepare ahead of time so you’re looking your best. Get in a workout or a fresh shave before you head out.

Feeling positive about your appearance often means putting in work to stay looking good. To keep confidence in your looks for the long run, try regularly using products that promote hair growth, eating a healthy diet, and working out consistently.

Plan something to say ahead of time

Something that many men struggle with when approaching women is figuring out what to say. Winging it may work for some guys, but it’s a good idea to come up with something to say before you’re face-to-face with her.

Think of a conversation starter that is unique to the situation you’re in, such as asking her what she thinks of the music or an event going on in town. With topics such as this, you’re more likely to start a meaningful conversation and to get to know more about her.

Questions that she can’t answer with just a “yes” or a “no” are more likely to lead to more chatting. Striking up a conversation on the spot without planning ahead of time might get you a quick rejection, or worse - ignored.

Read the mood ahead of time

It’s crucial to read the mood of the room and of the social circle around the woman you’re interested in before approaching her. If she looks like she’s having a good time, chances are higher that she won’t mind some flirting.

However, make sure that she isn’t looking uneasy or annoyed. The last thing you want to do is to make her uncomfortable and by being more observant, you’ll be confident that your timing is appropriate.

Maintain eye contact

The best way to appear confident, even if you don’t feel it, is to hold eye contact. If you’re looking down or around too much, you might come off as nervous or uninterested. Making eye contact assures her that you’re listening to her and that you’re interested in what she has to say.

Bonus tip: Starting a conversation online

Messaging a woman online often feels much easier than speaking with her in person, but it has its challenges as well. Many guys tend to hit up girls over and over online, so it’s possible that she’s heard every line in the book.

In order to be confident in your conversation starter, take a glance at her profile to find something particular to talk about. Ask about a recent trip she went on or bring up a recent event she went to.

Throwing out a generic pickup line or compliment is likely something she’s already heard or something that won’t get her interested. This unique way to start off chatting with that woman you’ve been admiring online is definitely something you can feel confident about.