Let's talk about two things you'll need to do if you will ever move forward in your life.
And find someone to move forward with.
Have you ever watched the TV show Taboo? It’s a really interesting show that talks about the the most fascinating, controversial things that some people and cultures do.
They had one episode where they showed various cultures' way of celebrating a boys “transition to manhood.”
Some really crazy stuff.
However, in their culture, it’s a requirement or else your life as a man will not be “pure.”
To be “pure” in the present and future, you need to release the “toxins” of the past.
If you don't, all of those bad moments in your past that have left you emotionally damaged, will be with you for as long as your live.
Most people would otherwise call this “carrying baggage.”
This baggage can cripple your mentality and any chance for you to develop your character which will be consumed by shame and memories or previous fails.
When I work with clients, this is a consistent struggle they have to go through.
When I ask them what is preventing them from meeting women, I keep hearing the same thing:
“I need to be [insert anything] in order for women to love me.”
When I ask them where this instability comes from, it’s usually the same answer.
And the crazy thing about this: because of what was probably ONE bad experience, future ones tell them not to trust women -- and in fact, be angry at them.
Sucks, doesn’t it? And it ruins future experiences with EVERY woman. The women have as little of a chance as the guys do.
To add to that, although unintentional, these guys are aware of this -- but they feel there’s nothing they can do to get over it.
All of these beliefs submerge into their subconscious, paralyzing their ability to move forward -- and it will stay that way until they (or I) can break into that subconscious.
The key is to “free your mind” (Matrix reference -- haven’t been used one of those for a while) and be proactive in letting go of the past.
So how do you actually do this? That, of course, is the hard part.
But, here are two ways you can get started on "freeing your mind."
One way is to do something new, making it a new beginning in your life. Some of my clients join a meetup group, participate in a social sports league or discover a new hobby.
The other is to find a mentor. Let's think about your favorite hero story. In the moment of their biggest adversity, these heroes always seem to have an inspiration they come across right before they beat the villain in the final battle.
In YOUR story, you’re the hero who's facing the adversity against the true villain, your subconscious. If you want to win and "get the girl" in the end, the thing you need to find is your inspiration.
In today’s world, that could be your mother, best friend, a therapist or someone who’s considered an expert-- like myself.
Whatever the source of your inspiration, use it to the fullest -- or you will carry your “baggage” to the next woman you meet, or the next relationship you're in.
And it will NOT end well.
If you have this “baggage” because of a previous experience or an ex, find something that will enable you to let go of the past. Don’t let the past hinder your chance at attracting a compatible woman and having a long-lasting, quality relationship.
If there's anything you take from today, it's this: don’t let the past affect your present and dictate your future -- not in dating and not ever in life.