The beginning of a beautiful relationship?On Monday, I had the privilege to not only watch two people go on a first date, but also give social commentary, through an online chat room.
For those who weren't around to see, I had polarizing comments for James and Bianca.
I thought Bianca was very open and pretty much the perfect example of how a woman should show interest to a man.
On the other hand, James was awkward, couldn't hold eye contact, seemed very nervous and didn't initiate any contact until well after an hour -- where he got a high-five.
Appearances are very deciving so let's talk about some of the factors that played a role and then give some tips.
BREAKING: This video was sent to me while I was writing this by the crew over at How About We. Apparently, they went back and watched the date. I have a very hard time thinking they watched the video that night.
This video hasn't changed my opinions, really. It was clear when I talked with the both of them after the date that night they were totally into each other.
And James is right, it's MUCH easier to say whatever you want when you haven't gone through it yourself. I give props to the both for allowing people to watch them.
Now, back to my thoughts.
When cameras are rolling, things get weird. Some people are used to being in front of the camera (Bianca) and others aren't (James). Because of that, it was blatantly clear that he wasn't sure how he should carry himself.
He told me post-date that he felt because he was on camera, he had to be more entertaining.
Obviously, he didn't need to be but he came off really weird from an outside's perspective.
Talking to James, he's actually a pretty cool and funny guy. He totally understood why I made the comments I made during the date.
Drinking will make (almost) any date better. Drinking is the social icebreaker we all love and it looked like they had their fair share.
Talking to each, they said they were admittedly drunk but it was more because they were having a good time and not because they were nervous. I totally believe them.
And there's no better way to distract yourself from the camera than constantly drinking. Let's not act like we all haven't lushed ourselves during a date once...or twice. Ok, maybe three times.
The coolest thing WASN'T watching the date. It was seeing them after the date.
You NEVER get a chance to see the couple right after the date.
When they walked in, it was clear they were into each other. The body language everyone saw online was COMPLETELY different than what I saw in-person.
They were much more relaxed and fully attentive to one another, despite people wanting to talk to them (inclduing me) about their date.
Oh, and they made out at the bar, too -- with no hiding behind a piece of paper.
From a body language aspect, there were both great, I'm really happy the date worked out and wish them the best.
Is this a true example of what a first date looks like? Kinda. But once cameras are involved, you'll never see anything "real."
And now seeing the video above, it just comes to show you -- never to take anything at face value. There's always something going on beneath the surface.
P.S. For those who asked me about the shoulder thing: Light touching on the sholder doesn't mean to place your hand directly on the shoulder. That's just weird. Light touching means a gentle touch, like this: