I remember back in high school where I was always jealous of the popular guys. They had a ton of friends and girls loved them. I wanted to be them so bad, I did all the things I thought they did to get there.
What being popular used to mean
I played two sports, goofed off in class, and pulled pranks on the uncool kids, who were originally my friends. Two years of all that and I was still the girls giggled about when they walked by me — and trust me, it wasn’t because they thought I was cute. How many times have you tried to be “popular,” hoping that women would be into you?
It wasn’t until many years later did I realize that all the things I tried to do wasn’t what I needed to attract the women that would normally go with the “popular kids.” And the best part is you don’t need to be one the those people in order to do it.
How to be “popular” so you can attract women
Listen actively. Great listeners have the best ability to connect with people in a genuine, refreshing way that can be very attractive to women. My Active Listening and Rewards Strategy is a simple concept that allows you to take what people tell you and give it back to them in a way that’s relatable, establishing that connection.
Speak positively about people. Even if you don’t like someone, it doesn’t help you to talk trash about them behind their backs. In fact, author, Richard Wiseman addresses research (from his book) that proves people will subconsciously connect the negative qualities you describe of a person to you. But what’s good about that is the same principle applies to when you speak positively. Remember, this isn’t about sucking up to someone (people will sniff that out as well), as it is about avoiding bringing down the character of them in order to build your own.
Get people to talk about themselves. Whenever I meet new people and they find out what I do for a living, they immediately open themselves up and tell me things they’ve only told a handful of their closest friends — and I love it. There’s something cathartic about disclosing things about yourself to other people that’s as fulfilling as eating a gallon of ice cream. The more you can do it, the more they’ll trust you, which will inherently make them rely on you being in their lives.
What’s interesting about this is these aren’t the qualities of the popular kids you wanted to hang with in the past. Fortunately, these qualities will not only make you more popular, but it will also be the ones that will attract the women the want.