Its date night and you’re getting ready to go. You’ve showered (hopefully), got on your Saturday night best. As you look at yourself in the mirror, you might start to ask yourself, “Where are my nose hair trimmers?” “Does my hair look too stiff?” And the ever classic: “Do I even want to be doing this?” The conversation you have with yourself is, indeed, just as important, if not more important than the one you will have on your date. When going for a night out, you have one, and only one, responsibility, and that is to be the most fully realized version of yourself and always leave the other person saying, “Wow, that was the best date of my life. Here are some wingman-approved pre-date rituals, which guarantee just that.
Creating, posting and re-reading positive affirmations
Ever have a great pep talk with a friend or family member prior to a huge event in your life, whether it be a first date or an interview (which a first date essentially is)? Did you notice how you felt afterwards? Believe it or not, it tends to be much easier to affirm negative thoughts than it is the good ones, and can be a challenge to rewire the brain to think positively. One thing I like to post around my room and on the bathroom mirror are positive affirmations. Some include:
1. You Are Awesome
2. You Are Going to Have a Great Time
3. You Are Worth it
4. Anything Can Happen Tonight
5. She/He is Lucky to Know You
Get your blood pumping
Getting a pre-date workout in is essential. Period. Exercise stimulates endorphin production. You can perform the following “Natural High” workout prior to any date to help boost blood flow, confidence, and get yourself physically ready for whatever the night will bring.
Know where you’re going (literally)
This may seem like a given, but you’d be shocked at how many people forget to actually check the address of their dating location, or even if the place is still in existence. Just 3 weeks ago I was geared up to take my date to a delectable Mexican restaurant in the Union Square area only to show up to discover they’d moved to the Meat Packing district. Call ahead and confirm their address and save yourself the hassle of trying to grab a taxi on a Saturday night to rush to meet your date who is now sitting and waiting by herself, which we all know is one of the best opportunities for a single guy to come in and swoop your date away.
Remember what you’re doing
Said it best in her book Fierce Conversations, “Conversations are not part of the relationship, they ARE the relationship. A date is simply a coming together of two conversations and seeing how they flow together. You may start talking and immediately feel a kinship, like you’ve known the person forever, or it could remind you of the worst interview of your life. No matter what, be grateful of the opportunity and remember what this is, if nothing else: a real life opportunity to use all that you’ve learned up until this point.
Use your dates as case studies and after getting home write in a journal what worked and what didn’t work. Did your date give you any actual feedback as to what kind of time they were having? Was there any unsaid feedback you received? Whether you feel you did awesome, or not so great, remember to look at your performance and interaction as an opportunity to get better, and that a seemingly “failed” date simply puts you one step closer to finding the right one. KINDLY write down any and all feedback and thoughts and remember to discuss with your coach, or a trusted friend. Regardless of the outcome, remember that you are better than when you left home that night; through each date you will learn and solidify more and more what you want and don’t. Remember, perfect practice makes perfect execution.