Are you willing to throw out the checklist?These posts are based on the reality TV series, Tough Love: Miami. I don’t comment on what happened in the show. Instead, I talk about what women can learn from each episode’s theme. You can check out my previous series here.
If you missed other posts, check them out below:
Tough Love #6: Dealbreakers
I hate the word “dealbraker.”
I believe it’s sets up everyone for failure.
Once a list is created, people stick to that list. And no matter how amazing someone can be, if that person has something missing from that list, they get written off.
But I totally get it. When you think about search filters online, they’re meant to give you the most accurate results possible -- because typically, you’re looking for ONE result -- and same can be said for dating.
However, applying that attitude to dating can potentially give you less than a 5% chance of meeting someone.
And what’s even worse, that 5% accounts for every man that walks the earth.
I highly doubt you’ll be able to meet every man on the planet before finding the exact person that checks off everything on your list.
Having said that, I understand there are things we absolutely can’t live without. I’m here to tell you, those things aren’t “dealbreakers.”
They are called standards.
Standards are not only what you expect of others but they what are expected of you.
So if you expect perfection -- which is impossible to find -- it would be unfair to think that person wouldn’t expect that in return.
Also, understand there’s a line between standards and just being picky.
If you prefer tall men, that’s fine -- that’s called a preference.
If you will only date a man who’s between 5’11” and 6’3”, that’s picky.
Wanting someone who is financially secure? A standard.
Only dating a guy who makes at least $150,000 a year? Picky.
The standards and preferences you set for yourself need to be realistic and within reach or else you’ll have a very slim chance of getting into a serious relationship.
If you meet someone who gets your attention, realize you may have to overlook some preferences to be with someone who can and will live up to your standards.
When you become more open to the potential options, you’ll be surprised by the kinds of men who will sweep you off your feet.