How to Build Confidence

I had a session with a client that didn’t turn out so well for him. When it came to approaching attractive women, he froze EVERY TIME. I tried to have him approach women who weren’t as attractive as a way to build up his confidence. He froze. I almost had him approach guys but I had a feeling he’d freeze anyway. Confidence isn’t natural. 

Let it be known that "natural confidence" is a perception. Confidence will always be something that you have to build and tend to.

Confidence takes on the typical cycle:

Acknowledging your comfort zone. Going beyond that. Failing. Learning. Trying again. Succeeding. Acknowledging your new comfort zone. Going beyond that and so forth.

People have a pretty easy time with the first part - acknowledging your comfort zone. Beyond that, fear creeps in. You get nervous. You don’t know what to do. You certainly don’t want to screw up.

So, what do you do?

Here’s how I have been able to get over that hump to develop my confidence to an all-time high.

Knowing you will fail. It’s VERY rare that you’ll do something right the first time. Think about the various milestones in life. Walking for the first time. Saying your first words. Taking your first exam. Your first relationship. Your first job. Your first college application. Chances are you didn’t do it right the first time and it took a few dozen tries to be successful. People rarely get a 100% rating when it comes to anything in life. So be okay with that.

Are you REALLY experiencing fear? Or are you really confusing that with excitement? I’ve said MANY times that it only takes one person to say yes. Is it worth the excitement of finding out who does?

What’s the long term plan? Do you want a wife? A girlfriend? A mistress? Whatever your goals are, you must put the process in perspective. Once you find that person that loves you for who you are, you are going to look back and be thankful for the road you went down. Being rejected all of those times and going through all of those inadequate relationships really put you in a place where you are ready for the ultimate prize in life. True happiness.

I can guarantee that anyone can develop maximum confidence but there will always be the one thing that will stop you.

Taking the risk.

Can you do it?

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