Wingman Unapproved

Bar in Jamaica

I haven’t really talked about my time in Jamaica on here. I do have a dedicated article about the things that I learned while I was down there, which you will get to see soon. Needless to say, I vacationed HARD when I was down there. Every night was a crazy one and I had so much fun hanging out by the beach when I wasn’t partying it up. There are plenty of stories to tell and they’ll come out in due time. I do want to share one now from the Tuesday night I was down there.

So I went downstairs and hung out at the bar. I was supposed to meet up with a girl that I met a couple days before. We were hanging out a lot and that night was her last night. Anyway, when I got down there, I ended up talking to who ended up being a REALLY cool guy, Dave. He was from Sheffield, England, and was with a couple friends and their wives – all awesome people. Anyway, while we were all chatting it up having a good time, one of the other people at the bar wanted to get the bartender to put a cork into an empty wine bottle.

The bartender was struggling so he gave up and wanted me to do it. I was able to get the cork in almost all of the way just using my thumb and then the bartender – we’ll call him E – used a spoon to get it all the way in. Then the guy slyly asked the bartender to get the cork back out of the bottle. At this point, E and I were completely baffled. How the hell were we going to get the cork out of the bottle?

Well, while all of this was going on, I noticed three really cute girls on the other side of the bar. They were having a good time and enjoying the entertainment that was going on. While, I was checking them out, a REALLY big black guy showed up and sat next to them. He instantly started talking to one of them and it seemed like conversation was going well.

Back to the riddle…

So while E and I are trying to figure out how to solve this, the guy at the bar mentions that we would need a piece of cloth. E decides to go to the back to get a piece of cloth and I’m still standing there trying to think about how to get this damn cork out. The guy, smiling, starts explaining how he would use the cloth to get the cork out and out of nowhere, the black guy offers his shirt for the other guy to use. Yes, the shirt off of his back.

By the time E got back with a piece of cloth, he notices that someone is shirtless at the bar. He couldn’t help but laugh. What happened to girl he was talking to? Well, she didn’t even know his shirt was off because she was turned around, talking to her friends. When she turned back around and saw shirtless guy, she burst into laughter and turned right back around. I guess it doesn’t have to be said that conversation ended there.

And you know, it’s not to say that he didn’t have a publicly decent body. He wasn’t a fatty or anything but it should go without saying that taking your shirt off at a bar is NOT going to get you the ladies. Doesn’t matter WHERE you are. Well, maybe if you were at a nudist colony, but even then, you wouldn’t be wearing a shirt to begin with so it wouldn’t even be an issue.


For those who are curious, the guy was able to get the cork out of the bottle with the shirt. It was a crowd-pleaser.

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