Are You Tired of the Disappearing Act?

As I continue my "ode to inspirations," I wanted to make a few announcements!

First, I am working hard to make this program not only the best but the only kind out there. It will certainly be the most visual and interactive program that you will see out there and will be completely engaging. And on top of that there will be a maximum state of accountability - not just only on your part, but also on my part. I will pretty much be with you til you pretty much don't need me anymore! And even then...

Secondly, I am going to open the program to the public for the New Year. So 2009 will be the year when your life changes forever! I am excited for this as I have had people inquiring about the timing of the program and I figured it didn't make sense to have this program open up just before the holiday.

Lastly, next week, I will be back doing my own posts and providing sneak peeks and previews of what's to come in 2009 for Project Infinity.

Now back to business.

This article is from my buddy, Eathan, from I Date White. Eathan's niche in dating is being involved in only interracial relationships (correct me if I'm wrong, bud!). TSBMag's Bobby Rio actually writes a really good article about niche dating. This article is about communication, specifically early in a potential relationship. He brings up going points in how terrible communication early can be a tell-tale sign of how the communication will be when you are actually in the relationship. Get in the discussion, either here or at his post. But check out what he says:

Lately I’ve being doing something I haven’t done in a while. I’m meeting a couple new people and clearing out some of the old one. Every now and then you have to do this just keep things interesting. I’ve decided that I’m only going to meet two or maybe three new people. The main reason is, I’m trying to decide if I have already found a potential girlfriend or if I’m just getting distracted by the holiday season. Since I’ve started meeting new people, I’ve figured out something that is starting to bug me. I actually think I’ll add it to my list of pet peeves.

I have been emailing 2 different women several times and it has led to several phone conversations. After the phone screening, we decided to meet. It seemed that we get along well enough to have a couple drinks and hang out. We planned to meet 1/2 way. Like always, I always like to confirm plans. Well I’ve sent a couple text messages, emails, phone calls and even smoke signals. OK not really, but I did try to make contact 3-4 times. I got no response. Nothing at all. There was no 3 word text message. There was no myspace reply. There wasn’t even the usual, “don’t make me spray my can of mace‘ reply. It was the silence on the home front.


So I decided to clear them from my phone. I sent the, “I was initially worried when I haven’t heard from you, but now I will just wish you good luck.”

Almost immediately, I got a reply! “Sorry, I’ve had a crazy week and didn’t respond to you”.

In my typical IDW fashion, I didn’t reply. I was disappointed that some how they didn’t have time for a simple text 4 day earlier. I’m sure I’m not the only one that has had this happened. It seems to be apart of the norm. Maybe it’s the idea of being a Ostrich in another life. You know, I’ll bury my head in a pile of sand and hope no one notices me.


Well that doesn’t fly for me. I’ve had a conversation with one of the women last night. She apologized for not responding and said its normal for her to be unresponsive. She even claimed to ignored her sister. I have to admit that I’ve thought about her being busy with work and then it made me reflect on something. Why would communication be different with a date than it would be if you’re in a relationship/married? Isn’t communication one the most important things between two people? Would you really ignore you daughter/son, family, work, or friends? She had to admit no.

Maybe this was simply a sign of bad things to come. Maybe it’s the real reason why they are still single. Even as I am writing this, it reminds me of my customer who never replies to their voice mails and emails. At the end of the month he has a pile of reports to finish that he’s ignored for weeks.

Normally it’s women who bitch about men not communicating, but sometimes it’s the other way around. So I’m wondering how often do you get irritated by the disappearing and reappearing act? Should you judge a person’s character on how well they communicate or lack of it?

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