Giving and Taking: The Win/Win Philosophy of Relationships
When you go into a situation with a Win/Win attitude, like it states, everyone wins. As Stephen Covey wrote in his book,
“Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win/Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena.”
Elements of Communication: Element #4: Telling the Truth
This is continuation of my Elements of Communication series, where I talk about the importance of communication in a relationship – or any interaction, for that matter. Here are the elements so far:
Element #1 – Having an Opinion
Element #2 – Being Willing to Give Space & Trust
Element #3 – Listening
Element #4 – Telling the Truth
This should really go without saying but let this be a refresher for you. You have no idea how telling the truth will get yourself out of SO much danger in the future.
I can understand if you are nervous about revealing something. Maybe you did something wrong, you’re embarrassed or you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings. In the long run, it is SO much better to just get the truth out of the way and suffer the immediate consequences – whatever they may be. There may not even be negative consequences – you are making that assumption based on judgment and pessimism and we all know how that usually ends.
If you know you did something bad that will hurt the other person, you are better off just telling them now. Who are you protecting, really? I’m not saying to rat people out – let them figure it out themselves. You know, it’s one thing to tell a lie and another to live one. If you are holding something back and you have to constantly protect that lie, you are really putting more things in jeopardy than you think.
Take it from someone who has been on the lying side before. It’s not worth it. When you can establish a relationship based on trust and honesty, at that point, you’ll REALLY be able to say to yourself and other people, “I can just talk to [him or her] about anything.” When you find that person, why would you ever want to lie?
And there is no more, “one lie and you’re out.” Lies will always compound. They will be continuous. And if you’re not careful, they will be harder to backtrack.
Yes, this is a tough thing. Wait a second. No, it’s not. Just tell the truth. Stop making excuses why telling the truth would be a bad idea. Accept your own consequences and put yourself out there.
If you do lie and you’re caught, your integrity will ALWAYS be in question and you may never get the “benefit of the doubt” ever again.
I realize that I am repeating myself in different ways here, but with something like this, it’s worth repeating. Most relationships lie on the foundation of trust and honesty. If you don’t have that, it’ll be tough to maintain a long-lasting relationship with anyone.
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