Two-Column Theory to Approaching Women

As I was sitting on the bus headed back to Boston after an amazing weekend, I figured I’d take the time to look back at some interesting points that were made over the weekend. After shooting a WingmanTV episode that I did in NYC, my guest and I were talking more about dating and meeting women. He brought up something interesting that I’d like to talk about.

He said that when it comes to approaching women, as an older guy and knowing what he wants, he’ll look at a girl and place her in one of two columns.

Column One – “You look like a fun time.” He carefully looks at her and decides if she can be someone he can have fun with. You have the kind of fun that can be just for that night. You also have the fun that can bring lots of energy and conversation for an extended period of time. Finally, you have the kind of fun that you’d want to be with for a VERY long time – potentially, the rest of your life. In this, he also included attributes such as low-maintenance, non-elitist attitude and friends. Yes, he does this just by checking her body language and how she’s carrying herself in the crowd.

Column Two – “You look like you require too much.” This column has women who look and act as though they are very high-maintenance. The kind of girl that would make you buy her a drink before talking to her or else she won’t give you the light of day. In the same column are women who are less mature and don’t carry themselves well in a social environment (they get wasted and make a fool of themselves). Once again, he will just look at body language, how she behaves with her friends and other subtle things.

This idea really intrigued me. It was almost like in the Terminator when he did a scan of people and their entire profile would come up and at the end, determine if they were dangerous or not. So I decided to adopt this for the day, just for fun, to see if you really can simplify things to the extent that allows you to determine if a woman is WORTH approaching.

That idea changes things a little bit because we’re not talking about the ability to approach attractive women. This goes beyond it in the sense that even though a woman can be a smokeshow, she still may not be worth you going up to her if there is a good chance she’s not going to rock your world.

So anyway, it started with walking down the street and looking at women and deciding if I would want to talk to them. This felt a little weird because it seemed as though I was harshly categorizing women and not really giving them a fair chance. I acknowledge this is something that should be frowned upon but I also see people do this everyday without remorse, especially when it comes to selecting a potential mate.

The problem that I see with this is that it’s not a perfect system. There will be times where you will put women in the wrong column. For example, a REALLY attractive woman who spent over an hour getting ready just so she can look incredible and may not get approached by any men, could have the “look” of a high-maintenance woman. The problem with that is her looks could be so intimidating that men are afraid to approach her, which makes her look untouchable when in fact, she would have LOVED for a guy to approach her.

If you remember my Wingman Unapproved post, you saw that the women we ended up talking to were happy that we talked with them because no one else had the “testicular fortitude” to do so. And they made a point to say that they are VERY friendly and would be open to talking to any guy just as long as they’re not creepy. But I digress…

In the end, this system can prove to be efficient for the kind of guy who is most likely older, is more sure of what he wants and has enough dating experience to be able to anticipate what he is getting himself into. I wonder how many of those guys exist?  It should be known that even with this mindset, there is still room for error with that theory. For someone who is younger and still searching for what he wants in a woman (and in life, in general), this may not be the best system. At all. But a fun one to joke around with.

Still interesting either way.

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