If you think that getting a girl to go out on a date with you is going to be your biggest hurdle in the seduction game, you better think again. A lot of guys that I work with make the mistake of thinking that just because they get a girl to go out on one date with them their work is done. They go home feeling on top of the world only to come crashing back down to reality when the girl bails out of a second date, or even worse, starts ignoring them altogether.
You see, a girl might go out on one date with you out of sheer curiosity, but the chances of her wanting a repeat performance depends entirely on how into you she is. Which is why in the long term, one date doesn’t really mean all that much.
So how exactly do you make a girl want to come back for date number two?
Avoid a bad first date
When it comes to us women, first impressions are key. We might not remember exactly what you said or did during a date, but we will damn well remember how you made us feel. So if you leave us feeling either bored, uninterested or, God forbid, utterly turned off after the first date the chance of us wanting to even consider a second date is virtually zero.
Now I could write a whole different article on bad first date habits, but here’s a quick list of things you should avoid:
- Boring date ideas like fancy dinner
- Bad hygiene or grooming
- Going into interviewer mode and asking us tons of impersonal questions (“What do you do for a living?” “What are your hobbies?” Do you really even care?)
- Talking about yourself throughout the whole freaking evening
- Oversharing (We’d really rather not hear gross or unpleasant things about yourself no matter how funny they might sound to you)
- Not being able to hold your booze
- Being too needy, desperate or creepy
Be interested in her
So here’s the thing, you could be the most interesting guy in the room, but unless we feel like you’re genuinely interested in us, there’s no real reason for us to want the seduction to progress. Sure, I might be curious and even fascinated by a guy who has climbed Mount Everest, hung out with Johnny Depp and started a Fortune 500 company out of his basement, all within the same year. But unless he takes the time to find out and appreciate things that make me, me, my interest is going to fizzle off.
Introduce a sexual vibe
A mistake that a lot of men make with attractive women is that they hold off on introducing a sexual vibe to the interaction until they see an “OK sign” from her. And you might even think that you’re being respectful by doing this, but the truth is that it’s utterly boring. You see, women don’t crave men who beat around the bush and hang back waiting for a green light. Women respond to men who are unashamed about their desires and pursuing them.
But remember, balance is key. You want to seem comfortable with your sexuality, but you don’t want to seem desperate or obsessed with sex. Be comfortable with touching a woman casually on her arm or leg, and be comfortable with telling her that she has extremely kissable lips. But stop short of going on for fifteen minutes about how great being in the same bed with her would be.
A woman’s attraction is kind of like a bed of coals. It can be smoldering hot one minute and cold as ash the next. And the key to keep building attraction is to keep escalating. You see, a woman might find you funny, charming and attractive and she might be enjoying your company and laughing at your jokes; but she’s inevitably going to start asking herself where things are going. And unless you keep the interaction moving forwards, you’re going to end up making her feel bored and uninterested.
A mistake that men sometimes make is that they get too comfortable in one place. They feel that just because a girl seems into them and is enjoying their company, they should keep doing what they’re doing and not risk messing things up. But unless you can keep things moving forward, you’re going to end up shooting yourself in the foot. So if you’ve got a girl laughing at your jokes and playfully touching you on the arm or leg, start moving things forward and start touching her on more intimate places like her stomach or the small of her back. And once she’s comfortable with this move in for a kiss.
Don’t show her all of you cards
A sense of mystery can be a powerful thing in seduction. So if a woman feels like she knows all there is to know about you after the first date she isn’t really going to feel that enthusiastic about a second date. So when you’re on a first date with a woman let her see enough of you to be curious, but retain an element of mystery and I guarantee that she’ll be dying to setup a day two with you.
Set up the second date during the first
One of the easiest ways to set up a second date is to do so during the first date itself. The trick is in not being too predictable about it. You can do this by dropping little hints about a place that you’ve been dying to check out. And if she’s interested in you by this point she’ll start asking questions about it. When she does tell her that you two should totally go check it out sometime, and then drop the topic all together. The anticipation will drive her mad. And in an entirely good way too. And just as you wrap up the date, tell her that you’d like to take her to the place you mentioned before and that you’ll call her in a couple of days to make plans for it.
Don’t text between dates
You see, it doesn’t matter if a girl had an amazing time with you during your first date, there’s always the chance that she might not be in the same frame of mind a day or two after. Which is texting between dates is always a bad thing. Not only does calling her feel more personal and build rapport, it also shows confidence, which goes a long way in keeping her interest levels peaked until you see her again.
Sarah Williams is a freelance writer that is passionate about psychology. After several relationships and a LOT of dates, she shares her honest female perspective about dating on Wingman Magazine. After all, she is just a hopeless romantic trying to figure it all out.