Discipline of Dating: Stage 4 -- Mastery -- Owning YOUR System


Own it and you'll be able to meet women anywhere.Welcome to the Discipline of Dating series. If you haven’t read the introduction and did Stage 1Stage 2 and Stage 3, read those before you continue.

Remember, this series is meant to give you ALL of the tools necessary to create dramatic results in your dating life.

Only one thing; you have to take action.

Let’s face it. We ALL want to be “masters” of certain crafts. 

I do not use the phrase, “mastering attracting women,” because it makes women appear to be objects when I know a lot of readers here on this blog and the people I work with are looking for much MORE than objects.

Instead, I call it “owning your craft,” and in this case, you are “owning your system” of dating success.

But owning your system is a daunting challenge.

Personally, I love challenging myself. I relish being put on the spot and being able to step up in the moment -- especially for the things I want most in life.

As life goes on, there are many things I’d like to accomplish, such as having multiple businesses, children and becoming a great dad for them.

The success I’ve had in my personal life wasn’t something that came easy but I relentlessly worked on it -- and continue to do so. At the end of the day, owning and living your life comes down to your attitude, or state of mind.

That attitude sets the pace from the moment you wake up each day. It shapes the decisions you make and defines your character through the toughest of times.

Let’s look at professional athletes, if you look at people who represent greatness -- Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Wayne Gretsky, Hank Aaron -- they all have ONE thing in common.

They have an undying passion to better themselves and succeed, no matter what happens to them.

Whether you can relate to those people is irrelevant. The simple fact you are here reading this is an example of your own passion to improve yourself.

You are here because you not only want control of your dating life but you also want success.

I can’t imagine you’d be reading this for any other reason.

You also realize you NEED this for your life beause It will determine your future, ability to be successful in other parts of your life and the legacy of your name -- something you may not have thought about.

Through the Discipline of Dating series, we’ve gone through 3 of the 5 steps toward dating success.

Stage 1:Knowing Who You Are.This the foundation of your dating development. A highly attractive man can only come from having clarity in who you are and being unapologetic of your existence.

Stage 2:Modeling: Replicating What Works.In this stage, you learned the “language of love” through copying other people's success.

Stage 3: Figuring Out YOUR System.Once imitation of other dating successes leads you to find patterns of your own success, you’re ready to work on developing your experience and competence.

OWNING is the fourth Stage. Typically people think this is the final Stage. However, it isn’t. I can’t be. No one is a master at anything. In fact, even the best people at their craft are constantly trying to become better.

I typically tell people, “we are all players of the same game. There just happens to be some people who are better at the game than other. But NO one is done playing because there is no end.

The reality is there’s NO finish line. When you look at the line for success, it never ends at a point. There’s always an arrow and that’s because becoming better is a constant process.

Someone who is dedicated to success is always tweaking, testing and fine-tuning.

Even though your goal is to meet ONE woman and spend the rest of your life with her, if you haven’t already, you’ll soon realize this process will help you in other ways in your life and that gives you limitless potential.

The only way to get to this Stage is to have gone through the previous Stages and brought on those Action Items as habits.

Circle back to systems you’ve created constantly for continuous improvement:

1. Refine your goals, purpose and standards at least once a month. As you become a better man, your life will change constantly. No matter what your goals are, they will dictate the actions required to get there.

2. Continue to model success. Just because you’re successful doesn’t mean you stop looking for models of success. There will ALWAYS be someone out there who is better than you. 

Continuing to finding people who are successful will be one of the best things you can do. As your goals change, always be on the lookout for those models and incorporate them into your current system.

3. Test. Test. Test. I thank my friend Ramit Sethi for drilling this in my head because at the end of the day, data never lies. When you’re looking to improve yourself, try new things out and see what happens. 

What you get back will tell you everything you need to know on how to make it better next time.

Part of becoming a better man requires you to push the boundaries, tweak and experiment with new ideas, then optimize until it becomes an effective part of your everyday system.

Tomorrow, I’ll have something especially awesome for you that will help maximize the success in your dating life.