Remember, this series is meant to give you ALL of the tools necessary to create dramatic results in your dating life.
Only one thing; you have to take action.
This article will focus on Stage 2 of the Wingman Model towards dating success.
Stage 2 is all about finding success and modeling it in a way that you can make your own.
This will allow you to adapt strategies, acquire positive habits and develop your social awareness for opportunities that may come up.
Once you do all of the Action Items, you’ll be able to go to Stage 3.
Begin Stage 2.
Do you understand how to connect and spark attraction with women? Or when a woman makes eye contact with you, you’re a deer in headlights?
To become better at meeting and connecting with women, it’s necessary to learn certain “languages” of attraction by taking a look at how our world works today.
Like learning any language, the quickest and most effective way to learn is by copying others who are more “fluent.”
Guys would love to be as smooth as James Bond, as manly as Marlon Brando and as confident as Bruce Lee, but it’s not realistic because you can’t be around those people to know what they actually do.
Instead, take a look around. There are tons of people who you know, and don’t know that are good at attracting women.
You might see that guy at the bar who always has women around him. Sometimes, you hear one of your friends complain about how a woman won’t stop calling him (rich man problems).
You see these things and think about what they do that get women to like them. You wonder if you could do those same things...
Then, something in your head tells you, “You can’t do that” or “That’s not who I am,” and you go back into your downward spiral of inability meeting women.
I’m here to tell you those days are over, my friend. It’s time to actually DO something about what you’re seeing and how you can make it happen for yourself.
Action Item #1: Follow and Model People Who Are Better Than You
When I work with a client, one of the first things I used to do (in my single days) is show them what they COULD do -- by approaching and talking to women myself.
When people ask me how I was able to become confident in approaching attractive women, I tell them I went out constantly and worked on getting over my major sticking points, while watching others who were already great at meeting women.
There really is no better way to understand what’s going on than by watching it happen in front of you.
Nowadays, I show them examples of guys making it happen in various places. You can almost go anywhere and see someone who is commanding the room, and people are gravitating towards them.
The best way for you to do this on your own is by hanging out with people who are great at meeting women. Chances are, you have friends, siblings and colleagues who you can talk to. Most will be glad to take you under their wing (pun intended).
If you really can’t find anyone, go to some of the places where you’d like to meet women and find out who are the guys that are surrounded by them.
You can go right up and ask them how they are able to do it. Buy him a drink in exchange for his knowledge. He may even invite you to follow alongside him to other events or venues if you two hit it off.
I know, it may seem weird approaching a guy talking to him about things like this, but let’s face reality. Guys LOVE talking about women. Going up to him and finding out how to meet women is something he will gladly welcome.
It has been said you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most. If you’re looking for a better dating life, you have to spend time with those who already have that.
Action Item #2 Make A List of Things To Pay Attention To
When you are following and watching the people you are with, there are basic things you need to pay attention to. These very things will make up what you will work on as you improve your ability to meet women on your own.
These things should be recorded in your journal for future reference.
Fashion and grooming. What are they wearing? Do they look put together? Is their grooming on point? Don’t focus on what those clothes cost more so than how those clothes make him look.
What you wear makes a real-time statement of where you are in your life and it’s important you are consistently saying the right one.
There are guys out there who carry a similar body build as you. If they are dressed better than you, chances are what he’s wearing is something you can wear as well.
Make a point to go out shopping and replicate some of those pieces. You can look at my suggestions from over 3 years ago. [Head & Upper Body] They are still relevant today and you won’t necessarily have to worry about “keeping up with fashion” when you have all the basics.
Lifestyle. How are these guys living their lives? Their jobs are what they DO but what else do they have going on? What are their values? What do they enjoy doing when they’re not working or at the bar?
I tell all my clients that women who are looking for long-term relationships will date you for your lifestyle -- I don’t mean that in a superficial, “gold-digging” way. If you have a life they want to be a part of, you become that much more attractive.
Ultimately, your lifestyle is how you carry yourself day-to-day.
In this instance, you don’t need to replicate the life of someone else but it’s important your lifestyle is a quality, balanced, fun, and ambitious one.
Where else do they go to meet women? Some men like a particular type of women and know exactly where to meet them. Chances are, they don’t have one source so it would be helpful to know a few other places you could meet the type of women you’re interested in.
Now take a look at the most important Action Item in this Stage.