The Professional Wingman®

We help singles develop better social skills to improve their dating lives through real-time coaching in social environments.

Stick to What You're Good At

Cocktail. If you haven't seen the movie, it's definitely worth watching. A young Tom Cruise stars as bartender who has big dreams of having his own bar and being the best bartender in New York City. He's flashy, charismatic, and most importantly, good at what he does.

Guys who watch this movie will dream of being this guy. And there are guys who go as far as TRYING to be this guy.

Unfortunately, at an event earlier this week, the bartender trying desperately to be Tom Cruise couldn't measure up. In a crowded bar, while he was trying so hard to be cool, he was moving slowly, ignoring half of the bar, fumbling around, and breaking bottles and glasses along the way. He was booed tremendously. And he deserved it – he was awful.

No matter how cool you look, if you're not good at what you do, it doesn't matter. I'd rather have ZERO flare and a perfectly made drink than all the flash and a crappy drink. It's very similar to when I take clients to the bar. Many will try to throw the excuse, "there's no way I'll do well at a bar because I'm an introvert." So for all the introverts out there, read carefully.

So great, you’re better at communicating one-on-one. Awesome. In many social circumstances, the person you’d like to talk to will likely be in a group of friends. The objective here isn’t to engage every one in the group. You can’t do that – you’re an introvert. The objective is to find the right strategy that will get you in a one-on-one situation, where you can shine.

You may have to introduce yourself to the group as a whole but you don't have to try to keep everyone's attention. Don't be that guy. Stick to what you're good at.

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What Women Want [Infographic]

A survey was recently done by Lifestyle for Men Magazine, asking women what women want, both physically and in a man's personality. Some of these stats I'm sure you'll find interesting, but most guy's reaction is to discredit it by saying, "that's not true."

I've been speaking on various panels on the Great Love Debate – including tomorrow's event in Long Island – and I realize too many men and women think dating should be "black & white." I completely disagree. If that were the case, dating would be too easy and LESS people would be in relationships. Dating can be simple but a long-term healthy relationship is hard to attain, which explains why we want it so bad. So there are two ways you can think about the stats from this infographic:

  1. Assume all the women in this survey are liars and don't know what they want.
  2. Think about what they are actually trying to communicate and what can YOU do that can appeal to some of the more popular (35%+) things women say that find attractive.

I'm curious to hear what some people's surprises / disappointments are after seeing the results of the survey below.

What Women Want by Lifestyle For Men Magazine

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