Today, there are still guys who try to go above and beyond to impress their dates -- unknowingly setting expectations for future dates and holidays -- and above all, not knowing how to do it right.

We’ve been raised to go the typical route of, “I’ll just buy her flowers and candy, then take her to dinner at an expensive restaurant where they fill to capacity and it’s so loud, she can’t hear me and the food isn’t even that good anyway.”

Someone should never feel as though they HAVE to do something.

WANTING to do something is much more fulfilling -- and memorable.

And the key here is to make her feel special -- the same way you’ll be doing it the other 365 days this year, right?

So don’t worry, the Wingman’s got your back with some simple tips.

Be romantic. Valentine’s Day isn’t really about the idea of love. Women want you to be romantic, which is extremely attractive. The way to do this is to follow this simple idea: “Little things, big surprises.” 

The effort you put in to making it a personal experience (which doesn’t require you to spend lots of cash or go over the top), will make her much more happy simply because you’re not doing the same typical -- and lame things everyone else is.

Have a plan. Although, getting dinner reservations on this day of the year may be impressive, having to yell at each other across the table because it’s too loud isn’t.

Like I said before, it doesn’t have to be over the top. The important thing is that when setting it up, you were thinking specifically about her.

Be unique. If you can, create an experience that represents something only you would know about her. This is where the “little things” come in big time. 

Decide something unique for the two of you and make an experience out of it. You an cook (or even get a friend to cook for you), go to your favorite date spot or even stay in, light some candles, pop some champagne and snuggle up to your favorite romantic movie.

Flirt like crazy. Tell her how awesome she is and tease her like a schoolyard crush. Combine that will a little touch here and there and you have the ultimate formula for flirting. 

Part of being romantic is playing that “dance” of whether you two like each other. It was fun in middle school and it’s still fun today.

Remember, Valentine’s Day may be a day for romance, but don’t let the hype fool you. In reality, it’s just another day for you to show your lady how much you like her.

Registration is open until February 9th so don't forget to sign up.

And find someone to move forward with.

Have you ever watched the TV show Taboo? It’s a really interesting show that talks about the the most fascinating, controversial things that some people and cultures do.

They had one episode where they showed various cultures' way of celebrating a boys “transition to manhood.”

Some really crazy stuff.

However, in their culture, it’s a requirement or else your life as a man will not be “pure.”

To be “pure” in the present and future, you need to release the “toxins” of the past.

It's time to close the wound and move forward.

It’s clear to me that there isn’t any solid material on recovering from a breakup. We focus so much of our time on getting into relationships when there are just as many people out there getting OUT of them.

I’ve literally had one of my new clients have incredible breakthroughs with his recent ex and I talked to him literally days before.

I can probably give 100% attention to about 15 people and keep a high level of service.

That’s only 0.2% of this month’s readers -- which looks crazy -- but I seriously can’t take on any more than that.

Let me share a few things about the emails I got over the past week.

You have to go left before you can go right.

So many of you have been wondering about my engaged client. The interesting thing about him is he went through TWO breakups during the time he worked with me.

Imagine that. I had to help him get over a breakup TWICE -- and now he’s engaged.

Originally, he came to me because he had just got out of a long-term relationship and didn’t know what to do and where to go from there. Over a glass of wine, I decided I was going to take him under my wing (pun intended).

He thought time would allow him to get over his ex-girlfriend but it didn’t work. I told him, “of course it didn’t. You weren’t DOING anything so all you could do was think about her.”

Eventually, after being nagged by his good friend, he decided to work with me. At that point, I told him he had to do two things.

One was to do EXACTLY what I told him and the other was to journal the entire process.

He agreed. And then I owned him.

But in all seriousness, over a matter of a few weeks, I helped him... 

• Discover, understand and get over the mental walls that were holding him back from moving on (i.e., “I’m not good enough for any woman,” “I won’t be able to find anyone as good or better than her...”).
• Create a strategic game plan to rediscover the things he enjoys doing, rebuild his lifestyle and reconnect with his social networks.
• Redevelop his social skills to be able to start attracting other women.
• Fine-tune his lifestyle in a way that makes it easy for a woman to be involved without him having to give up the things that make him who he is. 

Literally within one month, his life was back on track, he met a woman while out with a few friends and was exclusively dating her.

I was thinking to myself, “Wow, that was too easy...”

For a couple months, everything was going great and it looked like they were on the verge of a long-term commitment.

In fact, he was telling me he was falling for her very quickly...

Then, a few months later, I received an email from him, saying that she dumped him “out of nowhere.”

He was crushed, just like he was only a few months ago.

So, we went back to the drawing board, doing the exact same thing we did before -- he did what I said, journaled it and found the woman of his dreams.

This time, they dated for several months and eventually, he proposed to her.

The funny thing about this is when he told me how he did it, he said of all the moments we had working together that were so difficult, asking her to marry him was the easiest thing he’s ever done.

Just getting the email with only, “Thomas -- we’re engaged,” made my day. 

You’ll never know how strong the ripple effects will be from what you do for people.

And in this case, helping him move on from his previous relationships was the key to him being able to meet someone that he will eventually marry.

I can’t wait to get that invite...

But this made me think about the difficulty people have when recovering from a breakup. It’s a VERY lonely process and one you don’t truly know how to deal with.

I really want to share as much of my strategies as possible. For example, sharing the true story of my breakup was something I wanted to do because it came from first-hand experience and know people can relate to.

I want to help you get over your breakup without issues and the whole reason I write is to help as many of you who are willing to take the leap.

But here’s where it gets interesting. I can’t help everyone -- there’s just not enough time to do that. However, if I could pick a group of people who have a great chance of being successful, it would be SO worth it.

My client promised to do everything I told him to do (and he knew if he didn’t, I would have stopped working with him). He knew I was going to push him WAY past his comfort zone but he went with it. He put his utmost trust and faith in me.

And now, he’s engaged and happier than ever.

So, let me ask you...

How many of you would be interested in coaching, specifically for help getting over an ex or a recent breakup?

I’m not entirely sure how I would do it or what it would look like but I know for right now, the most effective way has been from working one-on-one with people who are serious and dedicated to creating change in their lives.

And now that one of my clients is now engaged, I can share the specific strategies I used to help him and others get there.

However, unlike my normal services, this is something that I won’t be able to offer as a regular service.

So, if you are interested in something like this, send me an email and tell me what this would do for your life. How would you use it to get over your breakup? How would you use it to find someone else to date? How would you hold yourself accountable?

Shoot an email to me at thomas@theprofessionalwingman.com and put “Breakup Recovery 1:1” in the subject.

For more of a real-time response, you can shoot me a message on Twitter.

I’ll let you know what I find out after I look through the emails.

Let's just say it. Breakups suck.

One in particular was the one that inspired everything you see here. 

I was on the phone with my girlfriend during spring break, and she said she didn’t want me to visit her and got very quiet.

I knew something was up.

This is me and Laurie, the love of my life.

2 separate pieces. Both were erased.

It’s rare that I write about my personal life these days, which I find a little ironic since the reason I started blogging to begin with was to write about my personal life.

Today will be one of those rare times. Completely raw and unedited. And for good reason.

This path to success is a representation and should not be taken.

Momentum.

Last year, I went on about how important it is for you to hustle and work hard for what you want. And all of that is true.

The reality is you are in control and you know that -- but working hard isn’t enough. There may be two reasons why your dating life isn’t where you want it to be.

How hard should it be to put this back together?

When she’s wasn’t having it, I knew something was up. 

That phone call ended with my 2nd devastating breakup in 4 years.

In college, at a time when I took everything for granted, I got sick (literally) and tired of letting myself down “because of a girl.”

And I wasn’t going to let a breakup have a negative effect in my life. I was only 21.

I decided I wanted to be so stable and secure in myself, that going through breakups wasn’t an issue anymore. I wanted to quickly move on, have a game plan and be more confident, ambitious and happier in as little time as possible. 

I no longer was going to put the outlook of my life in someone else’s hands. 

Since I love testing things more than most people out there, there were very interesting experiences that happened along the way.