Monday Maverick: Care Less, Get More

Don't approach her with the same ol' nonsense

Every Monday I’ll be giving tips on different perspectives on dating that will “free Your mind.” Like a true Maverick, I’ll give an unorthodox approach to everyday scenarios that will help you in your dating life and potentially beyond.

Worrying less about outcomes to get more out of your interactions

If you were to ask me what is the best way to approach a woman you’re interested in, my answer is always being open and direct with her. Stating your interest and intentions from the beginning gets all of the “nonsense” out of the way and focuses on what’s most important - finding out if the two of you have that “chemistry.” However, it’s a high-risk, high-reward situation as the woman you approach has to make a judgment call based on your presentation.

What if there was a way you could still approach a woman, be open, honest and not feel like you have anything “on-the-line?” And in fact, your disconnect from the outcome of the situation may draw interest from the woman you approached?

From personal experience and hearing from other women, one thing is clear. Complimenting a woman when you first meet them still works. The important thing is HOW you go about it. After talking with women about this very topic, they’ve told me the most effective way a guy would approach them is by saying something like,

“Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I like your [specific detail].”

And after saying it, they’d walk away.

Some women will see this guy as “just another guy” and ignore him. Others will gracefully say thank you and move on with their day. Others will be slightly intrigued and may even say something back. Of those who will respond, they saw something in that guy that’s interesting and worth talking to him.

The Maverick: Most women are used to be sought after and approached by guy after guy, looking to get something from them. And guys are SO outcome-oriented, when they approach a woman, it shows in their body language and she is immediately turned off by it.

The next time you decide to approach a woman, genuinely see something about her that’s intriguing, whether that’s her hair, her style, bracelet, ring, shoes, scarf, laptop, phone, etc. After you let her know what you like about her, don’t care so much about her liking you (you should care more about your compliment making her smile) and be willing to walk away.

When a woman sees you’re not there to get anything from her, she’ll be more likely to lower her guard a little and give you a chance to talk with her.

Keep in mind, this “chance” doesn’t mean that it’s game on and you can begin your “sales pitch.” This chance gives you the opportunity to have a fun interaction. What comes after that interaction is an added bonus!

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