Tip Tuesday: Great First Date -- Then Nothing

If only that phone was going to ring...Every Tuesday, we ask people from Team Wingman & Twitter what they would like me to talk about. It could be a general topic or a direct question. I’ll choose the best one and later that day, I’ll write something and give tips addressing that topic or question.

This week’s question: "How to react when u have a great date w/a guy-and he doesn't call to follow up-can u text? why/why not."

We’ve all been there. You go out on an amazing date with an amazing person. They do and say all the right things. Conversation is easy and everything just feels right. In some cases, you even get a kiss at the end of the night -- even more. Then, it happens.

Radio silence.

Days -- even weeks -- go by and you don’t hear anything from your date. It sucks and it’s just as lame. What happened? Let me break it down because it could be one of these scenarios.

If you’re a woman, you probably didn’t “give it up” and he realized it was more work than he wanted to put in. Yes, that’s brash but it may be the truth. Should you have given it up? Of course not. In fact, be happy you didn’t. Based on your standards, you don’t need to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to get to know you more and has an ulterior motive.

That person may have become unavailable. That could mean you were the last date they went on before accepting an exclusive relationship or it could mean something happened with family or at work -- you’ll never know. It doesn’t justify the lack of contact but still, a viable reason.

They just weren’t interested. They may have had a blast on the date but something just didn’t “click.” Still, not a reason for the lack of contact but at the same time, who’s comfortable with rejection, whether getting it or dishing it out? Some people believe silence is the easiest way to reject someone. It’s not, but that’s what they will do.

TIP: If sometime has gone by and you still can’t seem to get over this person, wait a week then put out a “feeler.” Sometime like, “Hey! What’s up? How’s your week going?” DO NOT bring up the fact you haven’t heard from them as that will be confrontational and people are even more likely to not respond. Let that part of the conversation come up naturally (if it does). If they don’t respond, that’s your closure and you need to move forward.

And remember, as hard as it is, it’s not personal. Even after one date, they don’t know who you really are and can only judge by what they see. If their judgment is wrong, it’s their loss, not yours.

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