Stop Selling Hard When There's NO Value

After taking a week to recover from SXSW and from moving locations to a nicer space in NYC, it's time to give some quick advice.

Lately, I've been getting clients who keep wondering why women have been rejecting them so often. The problem with some men is they think one sign of niceness will be enough to get the date - or in some cases, the girl.

For example, an actual text conversation:

Man: "Hey! How are you doing? Hope you had a great weekend."
Woman: "Thanks! It was pretty chill. Just me and the girlies."

Man: "Sounds like fun! Want to get together for drinks this week?"
Woman: "Sorry, I have class then work all day."

Man: "No worries! What about earlier in the week?"
Woman: "Not sure. Might be busy still but I'll let you know."

Do you think she's going to reach out to him? Probably not. A woman is not going to buy into you selling if she doesn't see your value. You have to develop a comfortable rapport with her filled with value (help, sympathy or enlightenment), humor and some hints of flirtation (sexual tension) in order to get her thinking about you in that way. Just because you may have done something nice, doesn't mean the next line out of your mouth should be you asking her out.

Women can sniff this out from a mile away and their defenses are already up, anticipating this. STOP going for the hard sell and actually take time to build a different type of relationship. Do this right and she'll want to buy, no matter what you're selling.

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