Be Interested, Not Interesting

Over the many years of trying to figure out how to be more attractive to women, it was sometimes misunderstood that the key was to be interesting. If women found you interesting, then in essence, they’ll find you attractive. I went with this thinking for a few years and although making the effort to be interesting made me learn a lot about myself and shape who I am today, it wasn’t enough to get the women I wanted. Actually, it wasn’t enough to keep any woman I was with. I was introduced to a written piece by John Gardner and came across this quote that I think everyone should pay attention to. Here, may lay the key to everything in your life and especially attracting women.

“If I may offer you a simple maxim, “Be interested.” Everyone wants to be interesting -but the vitalizing thing is to be interested. Keep a sense of curiosity. Discover new things. Care. Risk failure. Reach out.”

This couldn’t be anymore true in today’s dating world. Every guy out there is trying to show value, prove to women that they’re the best potential mate and that they are such an interesting person that they don’t realize that most high-quality women don’t necessarily look at that. Women don’t want someone that is just interesting to them. They want someone that is interested in them – but actually interested.

So how do you really show interest?

Ask questions. Tell her to tell you more about thing that she cares about. Look to learn from her. Keep looking for some newness in your life and share that with her. Don’t fear the risk of failure. Put yourself out there. Reach out to her and share your value with her. Show care about her in a way that’s explicit.

An attractive man doesn’t just want to be interesting. An attractive man doesn’t define himself by how interesting and cool he is. He defines himself by his experiences that got him to where is but doesn’t restrict himself for the future because he keeps his sense of curiosity to learn new things. His interest in everything else around him and not only himself is what makes him attractive.

His natural attraction to the world around him is the key that gets women attracted to him.

That shift in my thinking has opened my eyes up to amazing things and even more amazing people.

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