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Not four months in.

This is a piggyback post from Kelli Lawless and her blog, Dating and Mating in America. When I read the headline, I was very curious. Then after reading it, I got upset. I got angry. It pumped me up so much that I can’t fall asleep on the BoltBus anymore. I might as well talk about this.

Too many guys do it.

You see a woman that you like and you want to be everything to her. You want to be everything that she likes and wants in her ideal man. You want to be the man she wants to marry and be with forever. But did you ever ask yourself,

“ARE you that man or are you POSING?”

This is a serious question to ask. There are too many men that ask me about what lines they should use on a certain type of woman and how they should dress to get with another type of woman. Fortunately, I don’t give them this kind of advice but they can definitely get it elsewhere. And men read and practice it to a tee. But beyond all of that, would you like to know what’s even worse?

It actually works.

Guys dress and act like the men women are looking for and women eat it right up (can you blame them?). Then, after a few dates or even a few months, they feel as though “they have them.” Now, they can “let up” and start being themselves.

As I type this, I feel like what I am writing doesn’t even make any sense.

Then, women are left wondering, “WTF?” and run for high water, leaving men thinking that they screwed up some other way.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Listen, you are the problem. You fucked up from the get-go. You weren’t yourself. It happened to me when I was in college. I made so much effort in being the man everyone wanted me to be, and less effort on making who I was even better. Then, when I figured I had it all, I reverted back to what I was used to. I mean, think about it. Being someone you’re not is A LOT of work. Now that I have it all, there was nothing better than going back to being me. After that moment, I started to lose everything to the point where I had to start over from square one.

Now, after doing it right and sticking to being myself, I find there is even MORE value in being YOU rather than represent this figurative ideal. To people who will still alter who they are to appease to someone else: Fuck that. If you want to be someone else, go apply to be someone’s body double for a movie. Stay true to who you are, and I promise you will persevere. Being you is enough work to give yourself but it’s the easiest because that’s the only thing you know how to do best.

Remember the goal: to get someone to love you for YOU, not who you’re not.

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