This has been a huge topic that many people have been emailing me about. If there is any time that I would want conversation to happen, it has to be with this.
The idea of cockblocking and catblocking.
Yes, as men, I’m sure we’ve all been victims of this. I imagine this kind of thing can only happen at a bar, nightclub, or private house party. The night is going well and you are having a blast with this girl who seems to like you for some unknown reason. You two are dancing and getting it on, on the dance floor. You two kiss a couple times and it feels awesome. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You ask, she agrees to go back to your place “to see your Kurt Cobain Anthology” and is ready to leave. But before she does leave, she wants to let her friends know that she’s bouncing early.
After following her for what seems like forever while she’s looking for her friends, she finally finds them and tells them the deal. You think it’s in the bag and all of a sudden, her friends, without hesitation, grab her from your hand and pull her into the darkness and you never see her again. As she fades into the background, you hear her screaming, “But I like him. He’s cute” only to hear the response of, “You’re drunk. You just met him. You’re coming home with us.” You’re left there with empty hands wondering what just happened. You leave dejected and unless the good graces from heaven drop a woman on your head – literally – you may have to go home alone that night.
You've been cockblocked.
Now on the flipside, I have seen guys catblock (I’m hoping to have made that up) women. Although VERY rare, I guess these women are notorious for ruining men’s lives after having relations with them (i.e. bad rep for having reckless sexual activity with everyone, being a stalker, etc.) and maybe one of these guys that’s initiating the cat-block is aware or has been a victim of this woman’s destruction. For what I have seen, it seems to work just by one guy telling the other not to do it, while giving reason, of course. Usually, a guy will trust his boy and adhere to the sound advice.
Here’s my gripe with this. What’s the deal with all of the blocking? On one hand, it could be Wingman Approved because you could be saving your friend from impending doom. Then again, it could be Wingman Unapproved because you are stopping a friend’s chances of having an amazing time for that night. I stress the point of just that night because for right now, that’s all it is, until there is an indication of the possibility of more than just one night.
For this, I can only speak from the male perspective of countless people emailing about what to do when they come across this situation. Here is a female’s perspective on the topic.
I totally understand that we are to look after our friends. I do it all the time and I think when others do it, it’s admirable. But listen, we are adults. If we want to go home with someone for the night, why can’t we? What makes it so bad? If the guy is wasted and trying to drive her home, cock-block. If the guy looks like Ron Jeremy, by all means cock-block. But would you cock-block me from your friend if she really wants to spend the night with me, I’ve spent time getting to know all of you and have given no indication of being a creepster? I don’t like having to put myself in here but as a victim once in the past, I’d be curious to hear thoughts on that.
Some guys (and some women) believe that the other women tend to get jealous because they can’t find a guy to be with that night and so the rule, “if one can’t, no one can,” comes into effect. Is that true? I mean, I know that if my buddy was able to meet someone that night, I’d be cheering him on, regardless if I didn’t meet anyone that night. Why don’t I ever see women doing the same? It’s just an interesting thing that has confused many of us for years.
I’m sure many of my readers here are looking for growth within this issue more than a solution. So let’s keep it clean and fun.
Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?
*Wingman Approved/Unapproved is for entertainment purposes only. This is NOT advice and is only produced to evoke fun discussion and conversation. Misinterpretation of this as advice and using it in a social environment may result in brutal rejection, a drink thrown at you, a punch in the face and/or a huge social value drop. The Professional Wingman is not responsible for such misinterpretation.
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